A Drink for a Queen
by problemcats1and2
Summary: Katara is tired of being married to a saintly Air Noble, so she goes looking for someone to have fun with. Avatar AU with Zutara pairing. Rated M for lemons.
1. Chapter 1: Hookup Culture

A Drink for a Queen

by ProblemCats1and2

 **Chapter 1: Hookup Culture**

She had never stolen anything before, until today. It was a theft born of… not really necessity. Boredom, maybe. But it felt an awful lot like a need. She wore a cloak as she snuck into the servants' wing, with the hood pulled low over her head, and ducked into their laundry room, which was fortunately empty. She had come down here during lunch precisely for that reason, which gave her a few minutes to sort through piles of clean clothing before finding something she thought would fit. Stuffing them under her roomy cloak, she turned tail and left the way she had come.

She wondered, later that night, if she should wait another couple of days to use the clothing, as that might avoid suspicion, but she had already told all the important people she was sick and to leave her alone today in order to slip away during lunch, so she might as well make use of that. Besides, she reasoned, this was important. Really important.

So she braided her long brown hair and put on the clean, relatively well-fitting servants' trousers and tunic. Her reflection twisted in the full-length mirror on her wall, eyeing the fit of the clothing, deciding she looked like she thought a normal person would. The trousers were tight across her hips and the tunic across her bust, but she liked it that way. It made her look alluring and just a teensy bit slutty. Perfect. She slung a water skin across her back-there was no point in trying to hide her water bender status, not with her coloring- slipped on soft leather boots, and climbed out her window.

The climb was made relatively easy by a vine-covered trellis that extended all the way to the ground. Fortunately, Aang was a trusting sort and had specifically requested his castle not have walls, and the guards were limited to the main entrances, so it was easy enough to head down the hill into the city. It was dark, but the moon had risen, and Katara felt its light surround her, lighting her way down. She wandered well-lit streets in silence for a while, moving ever farther away from the castle, heading towards a bar on the river she had heard of. It had a reputation, but not a bad one. It was the sort of place where traveling merchants who wouldn't recognize her would go, as it was near the large market and docks.

No one really troubled her on her way there, as the streets were mostly quiet. It wasn't late enough for bar patrons to be thoroughly sloshed and most residents of the city had probably just finished their dinner. Gradually, more people crowded the streets, probably on their way to find entertainment for the night, just like her.

After half an hour's walk she reached the bar. From the outside, it looked well-lit and relatively crowded, but not overly loud, so she walked in and headed for an empty barstool. Ordering a glass of ice wine, she surveyed the crowd moodily. Few people were alone; most sat at tables in groups that were probably merchant caravans, judging by their similar clothing. The crowd certainly did seem to represent a wide range of nationalities, as she'd been told- there were some merchants clearly from the Fire Nation, another group that appeared to be from the Si Wong province, more that were probably from Ba Sing Se, maybe. Or Omashu. Definitely an Earth state city. No Water Tribe members or Air Nobles, though, although that wasn't very surprising.

She turned back to her ice win and sighed. It didn't look like her night would end up as happily as she'd hoped, meaning this whole trip was for nothing. She downed the rest of her drink quickly, hoping she could at least enjoy a little buzz before she had to go back to the palace. Aang wasn't a fan of drinking.

One of the Si Wong men sidled over to her, smiling a snaggle-toothed smile. "Want me to buy you another drink?" he asked slyly. Katara eyed him, see the wrinkled, sun-worn skin, crooked teeth, and thinning hair. She liked to think she was open-minded, but she had at least hoped for someone attractive.

"No thanks," she replied cooly. "I'm married."

Taking a sip of his drink, the man sidled closer to her. "Then why are you here, pretty girl? You see, I don't think that means nothing to you. Or you're lying. Either way, no reason for me to leave, you see?" His hot breath washed over her ear.

Katara rolled her eyes. Seriously, some guys could not take a hint. "How about because I told you to go away? I'm not interested. If you keep bothering me, I will freeze your drink to your face."

A raspy voice appeared over her other shoulder. "Is this guy bothering you?"

The Si Wong man briefly looked scared, then quickly said, "Yeah, ok, sorry I bothered you. I didn't realize you were a waterbender."

Turning to the new speaker, she repled smugly, "No, I had it handled. I can take care of myself." The raspy voice belonged to one of the Fire Nation men, tall and dark haired with a large burn scar covering one eye. She eyed him appreciatively. Despite the scar, he was quite good-looking- well-built, lovely golden eyes, muscular arms. "What are you, some kind of bouncer or something?"

He laughed. "No, although I do know the owner of the bar, so he probably would trust my judgment if I threw somebody out."

 _Ah_ , she thought, _he's trying to look impressive. Nice._ "Well, thanks for stepping in, but your help really wasn't needed." She turned away, trying to catch the bartender's attention for a second drink.

"Yeah, I can see that… although, I am curious. Why _are_ you here if you're married? Were you just lying to get him to leave?"

She sighed and looked at him.

"Look, I swear, I'm not trying to be nosy… okay, maybe a little, but I'm not trying to hit on you. I just wanted to know."

"Yes, I really am married, and as to why I'm here… I need several more drinks before I'd start talking to a stranger about that."

He nodded sagely. "Ah. I see. Well, hi, I'm Zuko. Nice to meet you." He stuck out his hand awkwardly and she shook it with a laugh. "See, now we're not strangers."

"Are you really that curious, or do you just enjoy getting people to tell you about their lives in bars?"

"A little bit of both. Although, if you do want to talk about it, I'll split some sake with you."

She toyed idly with her still-empty glass. "It is tempting. Although, if you're offering to listen, you should know what you're getting into. There's a very real chance I may cry or yell incoherently." Katara looked up at him through her eyelashes. He looked genuinely concerned. And he really was very cute. Maybe she would talk to him for a little while.

"I have a room upstairs, if you don't want to talk in public. Wait, is that creepy? I swear I'm not a killer or anything. I just want to help. Ah, shit, I sound so creepy."

Katara laughed so hard she bent over the bar. "Wow, if you're hitting on me, this is the worst come-on I've ever seen. Besides, if you were a killer, I'd have you frozen to a wall before you could do anything."

He rubbed the back of his neck, blushing. "I feel in the interest of fairness I should point out I'm a firebender. But, again, I'm not a killer. I'm sorry for the… awkwardness."

Katara arched an eyebrow at him. "Ooh, so you might be a little bit of a challenge then. I'm not exactly worried. In fact, your offer of a private place to talk is sounding more intriguing by the minute, as long as you get plenty of sake." Maybe if he heard her proposal, he'd help her out.

"Oh. Okay then. I can do that." He waved the bartender over, asked for two bottles of sake and two cups, then tapped his fingers impatiently on the wooden bar. "Hey, you never told me your name. I should probably know the name of my new drinking buddy."

 _Oh, yeah, a name. Shit._ "Oh… yeah. My name's Kya."

He smiled at her. "Good to meet you, Kya. Shall we go have a drink?"

* * *

Author's Note: I read a lot of fanfiction, but have never written any before! I'm hoping this isn't terrible. Clearly, as you can tell, in this AU the Air Nomads weren't killed- in fact, they have their very own kingdom about where Republic City is. You'll find out more about the politics of my AU in future chapters. For now, enjoy Katara being super bored.


	2. Chapter 2: One Night Stand

**Chapter 2: One Night Stand**

Katara was several cups of sake into a bottle and definitely feeling it. Fortunately, Zuko was feeling it too. They lounged on the narrow bed in his rented room, sipping their sake and chatting about nonsensical things, like how his father was a rich fire flake merchant, but Zuko really preferred his uncle as his dad was a bit of a dick and liked his sister better anyway, and Katara's brother never visited her anymore because he had three kids and she really missed him. Once they were both verging on quite drunk, Zuko leaned close to her, his nose practically meeting hers. "So, what's wrong with your marriage? You're supposed to tell me about it."

She leaned away from him and turned her head. "I don't know. He's just, well, _different_. He's so saintly! It drives me crazy. You know how all the Air Nobles are kind of holier than thou?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Yeah, but they are priests."

"Well, I swear, my husband is the worst. Don't get me wrong, he's very sweet and kind, but he's _so convinced_ Air Noble culture is a thousand times better than any other. So he insists we do everything the way the ancient Air Nobles did. No concessions. I hate it. I miss meat!"

Zuko nodded in sympathy. "That sounds pretty awful."

Katara stood and started pacing, weaving just a little, and gesticulating wildly, moving the sake a little. "But that's not even the worst part! I could do without meat. It's not the worst thing in the world. No, what's worse is the sex." She stopped, arms akimbo, and glared at Zuko. "Do you know how many times the ancient Air Nobles had sex? Seven times a year! Seven! times! a! year! We only get to do it during the Festival of Abundance, and I'm somehow expected to give him a kid from _that_?! It's patently ridiculous, and I'm sick of it."

She pointed at him. "You don't understand what it's like to be horny and to have a husband there-who you are still attracted to, most of the time-and not be able to do anything about it! Aa-my husband doesn't understand. He thinks I'm being silly. So here I am, in a bar, talking to a stranger because I came out here tonight hoping for some strange!" She collapsed onto the narrow mattress, hands covering her watering eyes. "How pathetic is that? I wanted to cheat on my husband with someone I'd never see again, just to have one night of fun."

Zuko shifted uncomfortably, like he wasn't exactly sure how to respond to the very personal tirade he'd just experienced. He downed the rest of his cup of sake, hoping for an answer at the bottom of the ceramic tumbler. "That doesn't make sense to me," he mumbled.

Katara lifted her head and looked at him. "No, I mean, that's the thing. It does make sense. I understand how important his culture is to him. It's just not fair to me. Why I had to marry a freaking Air Noble, I'll never know," she grumbled.

"No, I didn't mean the culture thing, it's just, you're really nice-looking and I don't get why he doesn't want to sleep with you more often," he continued, the unscarred half of his face turning nearly as red as his scar.

Katara scooched closer to him and kissed his forehead. "I know you wouldn't have said that sober, but that was really sweet. Thank you." She refilled both of their cups and lifted hers. "To inattentive husbands and sweet new friends." She swallowed the sake and shifted so that her head was resting on his shoulder. "I just want to feel loved, you know? Like someone wants me so badly they can't resist." She snuggled even closer to him, rubbing her chest against his side as she did so. Then drunk Katara said something sober Katara never would have. "So tell me, Zuko, do you want me?"

He gulped. "Kya, you're married. I…"

She shoved him. "Haven't you listened to anything I've been telling you? Answer me: do you want me? I won't be mad if you say no."

In response, he tilted his head down and kissed her, his lips briefly touching hers in a delicate brush. "Yes," he whispered, "very much," the smell of alcohol wafting into her nose. "I promised myself I wouldn't hit on you, but I wanted you from the moment you walked in."

"Good," Katara murmured back. She wrapped an arm around his neck, twining her fingers in his thick black hair and placed her lips against his, nipping his lower lip gently as she pressed her mouth to him more firmly. He returned her kiss with fervor, a soft moan escaping him as she nibbled his lip, opening his mouth for her eager attention. Keeping her mouth on his, Katara straddled him, hands caressing his back. She could feel how much he wanted her, and it drove her mad with need. His hands reached behind her, wrapping around her back to cup her rear. In response, she ground her hips against him, eliciting another moan.

She frantically tried to untie his belt as his mouth moved to her neck, one hand pulling aside the curly hair that had escaped from her long braid. Finally, she was able to open his shirt, revealing the firm stomach and muscular chest she had suspected lay under the silky fabric. She sighed in relief to see that he wasn't covered in body hair, allowing herself to be shallow for her one night stand. Zuko, seeing her desire to remove his clothes, responded the same, gliding his hands under the stolen tunic, lifting it up to reveal an expanse of soft brown skin. She gasped as his warm hands ( _firebender_ , she absently thought, _he wasn't lying_ ) brushed the sides of her unbound breasts and lifted her arms to allow him to remove the tunic completely.

His mouth drifted down to her chest, placing kisses closer and closer to her pert brown nipples until he was sucking on each one in turn. She gasped again and rocked her hips along his crotch, her hands massaging his chest. "Oh, Zuko," she murmured, "yes, thank the spirits, yes." She pushed him back against the mattress and slid down, removing his trousers as she went and letting his erection spring free. She trailed kisses down his stomach until she reached his erection, wrapping her wet mouth around it. Aang never wanted her to do this to him, but she had always kind of wanted to try it.

"Kya..." he gasped through clenched teeth. "Please, don't stop."

Pulling away for a moment, she looked at his desperately aroused face and smiled. "Katara. My name's Katara."

"Katara," he replied dumbly as she moved her mouth back on him. After a minute or so of her attentive mouth, Zuko gently pulled her head away. "Lie back," he whispered.

She lay back against the mattress, unsure what he was planning on doing, when he pulled off her trousers so they were equally naked. Holding himself above her, he leaned down and nibbled an earlobe. "Is this what you want?" he asked her breathily.

Katara snaked a hand down to his cock and guided him into her. "Yes," she eagerly answered. She wrapped her legs around him as he began to thrust, fulfilling the need she had felt for months now. Her nails raked into his back as he hit the right combination of speed and force to bring her closer to the brink, falling down the deep well of pleasure. He teased her a little as he watched her get close, slowing his thrusting until she bit her lip in frustration and begged him to continue. Just as she was about to explode, he stopped, told her to turn over, and re-entered her as she did, her full breasts swaying with the rhythm of his thrusting. He leaned forward and reached around to stroke her place, the special place Katara would frantically rub for some kind of satisfaction when she was alone, the pearl-sized numb she so longed for someone else to touch.

Her arms sagged under her weight as she gasped in pleasure, the cresting wave of her pleasure growing once more. "Zuko! Ah... yes. I'm so close. Please," she begged, as he stroked her pearl. Picking up the speed of his thrusting, he again reached that perfect rhythm and the wave of her pleasure finally broke, spasms of bliss crashing over her. Once the endless wave had passed, she reached between her legs to caress him, pressing herself backwards. "Now it's your turn," she stated wickedly. With a final groan, he pounded into her faster and faster until he erupted, panting heavily with exertion.

He pulled out of her and they both collapsed on the mattress, Katara laughing breathlessly. "That was wonderful!" she cried. "I should have done this ages ago!"

Zuko rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow, his once-magnificent cock slowly growing smaller. "But then it wouldn't have been with me."

She kissed him. "That's true. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I haven't so thoroughly enjoyed sex in… well, a long time."

Now it was Zuko's turn to laugh. "I don't think I've ever been thanked for having sex with a beautiful woman before. I could get used to that."

Katara kissed him again. "Yes, I'm sure you could." Rising from the mattress, she padded to the attached washroom, using the mirror to put some semblance of order into her hair.

"That's a nice view," Zuko called after her. She grinned over her shoulder at him and lightly spanked her ass. Closing the door, she quickly washed up, then returned to put on her scattered clothes.

Zuko's face fell. "You're leaving?"

"I'm sorry, I have to. I can't stay out all night and who knows how late it is. I should get back."

"There's no way you're sober and it's the middle of the night. I can't let you go alone. Something could happen to you."

Settling the tunic over her torso, she leaned over and smoother the hair from his face, cupping his unscarred cheek. "I can take care of myself, remember? I'll be fine. I can even send you a message tomorrow so you know I'm alright."

Unsure, his golden eyes searched her blue ones for reassurance. "If that's what you want, although I don't like it. I really enjoyed tonight. And I don't just mean the sex. I really like you… Katara."

Her heart gave a little flutter at the way he breathed her name as though it were a precious thing. Too bad she would have to forget him come tomorrow. "Goodbye, Zuko." With a final gentle kiss, she turned and left his room, closing the door quietly behind her.

* * *

Author's note: I hope you all enjoy the lemons! Also, I'd love some reviews if you have something to say, even if you think it's utter rubbish. I'm not a writer by trade, so I appreciate constructive criticism.


	3. Chapter 3: Pants on Fire

A/N: More smut for you guys! Enjoy it while it lasts. ;) The next couple chapters will probably be plot without lemons, sadly. But the story must advance-and there is actually a plot, I promise.

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Pants on Fire**

Katara smoothed her yellow and orange ao dai absentmindedly. She was bored. She understood how much Aang loved to help people, but did they really have to hear grievances every day? She liked to help people, too, but it was really tiring to hear for the third time that week how a farmer's crops weren't doing well and could his Highness the Lama please send a priest to pray for them and maybe some acolytes to help around the farm too? Aang never said no. Honestly, that was what made it boring. His solution was to always do whatever they wanted, even if it really wasn't much of a solution at all. It drove her crazy not being able to actually fix things for these people but to have to listen to Aang put a bandage on these people's problems. So she tuned them out and played with her dress.

Finally, the morning of redress was drawing to a close, and Aang stood to announce the withdrawal for midmorning meditation, a tradition on hearing days. Katara was not overly spiritual, at least not when the moon had set, and so mostly used it as a time to engage in her own personal meditation of bending water. But before he could speak the dismissal, a servant came up to Aang and whispered in his ear. Katara perked up slightly; this was something different. Aang replied quietly, "Yeah, of course. Let him in."

The servant scurried off and opened the side door petitioners entered through a final time for the day, announcing, "Presenting the exiled Prince of the Fire Nation, Zuko Ozaison." A familiar figure, carrying a small trunk under one arm and a scabbard slung over the other shoulder, strode in and bowed.

Katara's jaw dropped. She quickly closed her mouth before anyone noticed and suddenly she was _pissed_. How dare he lie to her like that? The sheer _arrogance_. Did he come here to humiliate her? Was this planned? She half-rose out of her chair before noticing that Zuko wasn't looking at her; he was on one knee now, looking at Aang with a plea in his eyes. "Your Grace, I would like to humbly ask for a place to stay and your protection, in exchange for valuable information regarding the Fire Nation that I believe no one else outside of the capital city knows yet."

Aang looked at him kindly, concern clearly showing in the soft lines of his face. "Prince Zuko, you don't need to plead. We of the Air Kingdom will always offer refuge to any who needs it. We don't have any armed forces to protect you, as I'm sure you know, but our status as a religious entity should be enough to keep you safe, if that's what you want."

Zuko bowed his head and rose. "Thank you, your Grace. I appreciate it, and I hope my information will be helpful to you."

Aang shrugged. "I guess we'll find out. Now isn't the time for that, though. Now is the time for meditation! And then lunch. I'll have a servant show you to suite of rooms you can use. Wouldn't want visiting royalty to have anything but the best!" Rising gracefully, he bowed to everyone in the room, who returned his bow, and the court was adjourned.

Katara hurried down the hallways. She knew exactly which suite they would lead him to, as there was only one that was both large enough and fully furnished for what Aang had in mind. She was going to confront him and he would get what he deserved. Even if he hadn't come here to humiliate her, she'd seen his smirk as he walked away. Smug bastard. How could he do this after the beautiful thing they had last night? She should never have told him her real name, but she wanted to hear it coming from his mouth as she pleasured him.

Actually, come to think of it, how could she have not figured out who he was? Even if she hadn't remembered that the Fire Prince was named Zuko, she should have remembered that his scar was fairly infamous. Then again, she had kind of figured most firebenders had at least one horrendous burn scar. Didn't that come with the territory? He had even told her he had been traveling with his uncle for the past few years! Everyone knew the Fire Prince had done that. How could she have been so stupid?

She paused, reconsidering. Maybe she should just pretend she didn't know him and ignore his existence. She shook her head and marched on. No, he was going to hear exactly what she thought of him and his smug, lying, taking advantage of drunk married women ways. Finally, she reached the suite she suspected he'd be in and, sure enough, the door to the suite's sitting room was slightly ajar. _Okay, you can do this_ , she thought, _you just need to be firm. Say your piece, then leave._

Shoving the door aside, she stormed to Zuko bending over his trunk, the scabbard now leaning against the wall. "How dare you?" she yelled. "You lied to me! You told me your father was a fire flake merchant! What a load of crap. There's a big difference between a freaking merchant and an exiled prince! You know, here I was, assuming I wasn't going to see you again, and then you walk into my damn palace!"

Zuko turned, startled, and held his hands up in surrender. "Whoa, hey, first of all, you lied to me too, _Kya_. And I may be a prince, but you neglected to inform me that you were a _queen_. No wonder you were using a fake name. What the hell is a queen doing cheating on her husband? Couldn't you be executed for that? And anyway, I didn't lie to you about anything else."

Katara folded her arms. "Yeah, well, neither did I. I told you exactly why I was cheating on my husband, and Aang would never execute me. I told you the truth."

A pregnant pause hung in the air between them. Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. "So what do we do now? Do we pretend we didn't… that last night didn't happen?"

"I have no idea. I guess that would be best."

They both heaved a sigh. Katara looked awkwardly at her feet while Zuko toyed idly with his tunic hem.

"So… I guess I'll see you at lunch, then," Katara stated, turning to leave, her anger quenched.

Arm stretched out, Zuko reached for her. "Katara, wait, I'm sorry."

In response, she turned and rushed to him, kissing him fiercely. Planting her mouth along his jawline, she purred into his skin, "We can pretend we never met each other later, don't you think?" He lifted her chin and bit her lip in response. They feverishly began to undress each other, kissing each bit of skin that was exposed, keenly aware of the short amount of time before this had to be over forever. Once Katara's ao dai had been stripped off, followed by her breast bindings, Zuko lifted her muscular legs to wrap around his waist and carried her to the large bed in the next room. Lying her down on her bag, he hovered over her and began to slowly remove her smallclothes with his teeth.

"What are you doing?" she squealed, unused to the sensation of his mouth so close to sensitive places and nervous about what he was going to do to her.

He looked up and grinned wickedly. "Relax. You'll enjoy this, I promise." Using his hands to finish removing the remainder of her clothes, he began to kiss slowly up her inner thigh, making Katara shiver with the unexpected sensation. Parting the coarse, curly hair at the apex of her legs, he licked around her outer lips, bringing a sudden groaning of his name. She could feel him laughing softly as he continued, spreading her nether lips with his hand and plying the flesh within with his warm tongue. As his tongue swirled around her pearl, her abs clenched and she arched her back, racked with intense pleasure. His mouth was so wet, so warm, his tongue touching all of her most sensitive parts so skillfully. This was so much better than anything she'd ever experienced. Even last night could hardly compare.

As he continued, moving his mouth up and down, licking long strokes and gently flicking his tongue, she begged him for more. "Please, spirits, Zuko, you were right. Don't stop. I need more." Hearing her plea, he reached one long finger inside her and began to pump in time with his attentive mouth. She involuntarily thrust her pelvis upward, forcing his face farther into her. "I'm sorry," she giggled, "I couldn't help it, it just feels so goo… ahh." He nuzzled her affectionately, murmuring his approval. She could feel him crook his finger ever so slightly inside her, stroking more slowly and going deeper. The pad of his finger brushed against one particular spot that made her insides clench and toes curl.

She forced herself to keep her hips planted on the bed and resorted to breathing heavily to maintain some sense of control over her body, despite a pleasure so intense it was almost painful. Zuko looked up at her, licking her essence off of his lips. "Katara, you have to let go. Relax. I'm not going to be mad. Let yourself lose control."

Eyes closed, she panted, "O...okay, I'll try."

"Good girl," he replied with a kiss on her hip bone. He made his way back to her pearl and picked up the speed of his finger, again crooking his finger to hit that peculiar spot that brought her so close to the edge of her control. And this time, she let go. The orgasm hit her like a waterfall, leaving her gasping for air as she gripped the bedsheets and arched her back. Zuko clambered up next to her as she caught her breath, caressing one breast fondly as he grinned. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she replied breathlessly, "that was just intense. But amazing. Wow. I mean, wow. So amazing." Her post-orgasmic high had left her feeling silly, and she giggled at her inability to find words. "I should probably get dressed, I don't want to be late for lunch." She turned and glanced at him, noting the disappointment that he was trying to hide, taking in his shrinking erection. "Or I could enjoy myself a little bit longer," she finished, straddling him and rubbing her still-wet cleft against his steadily hardening phallus.

"Katara," Zuko moaned, "you don't have to do this. I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Please. I'm a queen, remember? I can do whatever I want. They can wait for me." She reached down and fitted him into her. She rocked gently, feeling him thrust up into her, eliciting a small gasp from both of them. Her hands braced against the headboard, she rode him, smiling at the enjoyment of being in control. "Do you like it when I do this?" she asked with a particularly strong thrust of her hips.

"Yes," he breathed, "whatever you want."

She leaned down to him, changing the angle of her rocking. "Damn right whatever I want. You should be bowing to me, making obeisance, Prince Zuko."

"Haven't I already done that?" he panted.

"Mmm," she mused, still rocking atop him. "This is true. I do like how you give penance. Now I know just how sorry you were."

He looked at her and bit his lip, a teasing light in his eyes. "So very sorry, your highness." Placing his hands on her full hips, he held her on top of him as he thrust into her, hard, forcing the breath out of her.

"So that's how you want to play, huh?" Katara rode his faster, digging her nails into his muscular chest as the bed began to shake. She pushed him deeper into the mattress with the force of her thrusts, her heavy breasts bouncing almost painfully.

Zuko groaned. "I'm… I'm close, Katara."

"That's exactly where I want you to be," she replied forcefully, continuing her rhythm until, at last, it was his turn to experience the heady rush of pleasure, exploding within her. Climbing ungracefully off of him, she stood next to the bed, unashamed of her nakedness. "Enjoy your welcome to the Air Palace?"

"Do all visitors get such great service?"

Katara smirked at the man who had given her the best orgasm she'd ever had. "Only the sexy ones."

"You should leave, probably. You have commitments and whatnot."

Her face collapsed in disappointment. "Yeah, I guess… I guess we probably can't do that again."

He stood and kissed the spot where her neck met her shoulder. "We'll see. You might be too addictive to give up."

That brought a slight smile. "Can I use your washroom? Why am I even asking you, technically this all belongs to me."

Zuko rolled his eyes at her as she disappeared into the suite's washroom, quickly bending water from the full basin inside and running it along her naked body, even bending it through her hair to detangle it, hoping to wash away the scent of sex. Once she felt she was sufficiently clean, she eyed her rosy post-orgasm cheeks in the mirror and arranged her hair into a semblance of the braids that had been done by a servant this morning. Confident that she looked mostly like she had earlier, she hurried back out to the sitting room, brushing by a bemused Zuko to pull on the orange pants and yellow tunic of her ao dai. "I'm sorry!" she called. "It's just that I really shouldn't be too late, you know. They probably won't actually wait for me."

Rushing to the dining hall, she smoothed her tunic, took a deep breath and entered to the sounds of a normal, merry lunch.

"Katara!" Aang called. "What took you so long? There's stir fry."

She hurried to her cushion next to him and folded to her knees. "I'm sorry, Aang, I just had a particularly enlightening meditation this morning and I didn't want to cut it short."

Aang nodded sagely. "What were you meditating on that was so enlightening? Maybe that's what I should do tomorrow."

She waved a hand vaguely. "Oh, you know, the oneness and unity of humankind. How we're all part of a vast system and that we should come together in joy."

He hugged her exuberantly. "That's fantastic! I love it. You're amazing," he finished, giving her a peck on the cheek.

Katara blushed and picked at her tofu stir-fry. "Yeah, I'm a real saint," she muttered under her breath. "A regular nun."

* * *

A/N #2: In case anyone is curious, in this universe there is an Air Kingdom, but rather than holding power through military might, they occupy an important position because they supply the priests for the other nations, who both hold religious ceremonies and negotiate treaties. As a result, the other nations send tributes to the Air Kingdom and pretty much leave them alone. I envision it as a little like the Vatican in the Middle Ages, except that since they're a race as well as a religious order, they can't be celibate if they want to maintain their population. Also, they're a bit friendlier than the Vatican and are mostly accepting of other peoples. They just think their culture is superior.

Let me know what you think! The next chapter will have some more worldbuilding and politicking.


	4. Chapter 4: Politics and Prose

**Chapter 4: Politics and Prose**

Zuko had requested a private audience with the Lama and High Council that afternoon to share his sensitive information, so Katara arranged for the meeting to be held in Aang's sitting room, a large, open space with lots of windows, decorated in yellow, saffron, and sky blue. On one side of the room, there was a circular stone table typically used for audiences like this. It was just big enough to seat the five members of the High Council, which included one member from each Air Temple and an elected chair, Aang, Katara, and three guests. Katara didn't always attend such meetings, particularly if they pertained to Air Noble-specific matters, but she was definitely curious what he had to say.

Katara was the first one to the room, other than Aang, who had flown to the top of a shelf and was perched there feeding a bird that had flown in through the open window. She smiled at him; she still loved his childlike side that would take time out of his day to feed a sparrow. Quickly, guilt subsumed her and her smile faded. "I see no one else has shown up yet," she observed.

"Nope," Aang replied cheerily. "What do you think he wants to tell us?" He being Zuko, Katara assumed.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. Why he was exiled, maybe? Maybe it's something embarrassing he didn't want everyone to know but he feels you should be told, or something."

"Yeah, could be. I guess we'll find out. Gyatso!" Aang jumped down from the shelf to hug his old friend, who had been the head of the Council for decades. When Aang was born, it had been Gyatso who had seen Aang choose the correct toys from dozens of options and declared him to be the reincarnation of the previous Lama, then helped raise him through the priesthood until he was ready to assume his place as the ruler. "How are you doing?"

"Ah, Aang, I must admit I'm most curious to find out why we are here today," the old man replied, patting Aang's back familiarly.

"I doubt you'll like it," answered a raspy voice as the object of their curiosity walked in. Katara gestured at the stone table and he chose a seat. Katara, Aang, and Gyatso sat as well while the rest of the Council filtered in. Once they were all seated, Aang stood and welcomed Zuko, then invited him to begin speaking.

Zuko stood. "I think you may all be familiar with the economic problems the Fire Nation has been having lately. With your kingdom and and Earth Kingdom making technological advances, there is less demand for the machinery the Fire Nation can provide, and people have been losing jobs. Frankly, it's not a great situation."

The Council and Aang nodded. "We have offered to help the Fire Nation before by giving money to expand other industries," countered Gyatso, "but they were all turned down, so we thought things must not be that bad."

"That doesn't surprise me. I've been traveling until the past year, so I wasn't informed of previous attempts to fix things, but my father is prideful and wouldn't want to take what he would perceive as a handout." Zuko took a deep breath and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Unfortunately, the solution Ozai has arrived at is not one that's ideal for any of you. He's decided to invade your kingdom."

There were murmurs of outrage and disbelief at this. "That's ridiculous," scoffed Sister Iio, "he can't do that. He knows we would remove all the priests from the Fire Nation; the people would revolt if they had no one to perform marriages or funerals, not to mention negotiate contracts."

Nods of agreement went through the rest of the Council. Monk Tashi added, "He has to know we would denounce him. A denouncement from us could effectively end his rule. It wouldn't be the first time we've deposed a ruler."

The prince sighed in exasperation, despair written across his face. "No, you don't understand. He knows you have no army, no real power except what others have given you, so he's declared your religion illegal and created a new one. He's claiming he's the reincarnation of Agni and it's his duty to cleanse the world of the false religion with fire. He's set himself up as the high priest, and the people are beginning to believe it. I left as soon as I understood that people were going to follow this insane notion of his to come here and warn you. My uncle spoke out against him and Ozai had him imprisoned for treason. You have to believe me, this is a dire situation for your entire kingdom. He has no qualms about wiping out the entire race of Air Nobles to take your wealth."

A stunned silence filled the room. Katara chewed at a fingernail in thought. How had they not heard of this before? What had happened to the priests who were already there? Some of them had married into the Fire Nation; were they allowed to remain with their families?

Aang echoed her thoughts. "Why are we just now hearing about this? Shouldn't our priests have come back and told us, or at least sent a message?"

"They can't. He had started rounding them up and imprisoning them when I left. I don't think he's planning on executing them, at least not yet. Not enough people have converted to his new religion for him to be able to do that safely. But I wouldn't bet on their chances. I've always disagreed with my father, but I've never seen him so vehemently determined. I don't know what happened to him while I was gone to change him so much, but this is the result." He sat heavily in the chair. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do besides come to you."

Katara didn't speak up in these meetings, usually, but she had an idea. "The Earth Kingdom has a vested interest in preventing us from being overrun; perhaps we can negotiate a deal with them for protection in exchange for something they want. I mean, the whole reason the Fire Nation was in a depression to begin with was because the Earth Kingdom didn't need their technology anymore, so their army should be more than capable of standing up to the Fire Nation. And I know my father will offer ships and warriors."

The airbenders at the table all stared at her, aghast. "A military? We cannot endorse the taking of lives; ours is a peaceful, non-violent religion. If we hire mercenaries, we will be violating everything we stand for," Sister Iio replied vehemently. "The correct response is to denounce him now, before his influence can grow, and let it be known that we will welcome all from the Fire Nation who wish to have no part in this nonsense. Surely only a minority is willing to follow his ridiculous false religion and most will come to us. That will take the wind out of this effort."

"Sure, we could do that too, but you don't know how many people would stay. I assume everyone in their military is being paid, so they may not be as willing to leave as you think. Besides, if he's imprisoning priests, people will be frightened. Not to mention many will have no way to travel here," Katara responded. "It's impractical to think that only peaceful measures will work here. We need to send the message that we will not go quietly."

Aang held out an arm to silence her. "Katara, I know being from the Water Tribe means you're more warlike, but Sister Iio is right. How can we possibly fight in a war when our message is that war and killing is wrong?" Katara fumed silently at the assertion that her Water Tribe heritage apparently made her a warmonger.

"How can you possibly think that you can stop this without any killing?" Zuko shouted. "Are you stupid? If you don't have some form of defense, my father's armies, probably led in person by him and my just-as-crazy sister, will wipe all of you out. It will be genocide! Your people will all die! You say you're against violence and yet you don't see that sometimes violence is necessary to prevent even worse destruction!"

Katara turned to Zuko. "Prince Zuko, what would happen if your father were to die?"

He shrugged. "I suppose I'd be next in line for the throne if I went home, although I have no doubt my sister would challenge that. But I doubt his propaganda about being the reincarnation of Agni would survive him, even if my sister ascended to the throne. She's crazy, but she is smart. I don't think she would stage an outright invasion. She prefers more subtle methods."

Placing her hands on the table, she took in the horrified looks on Aang and the Council's faces. "So here's a solution. It involves the death of only one person, and you're saving the lives of thousands of not only our people, but Fire Nation soldiers as well. We send someone to assassinate Ozai. Maybe this is my warmongering heritage talking," here she directed a glare at Aang, "but this seems like the solution that will be most in keeping with the religion. We don't even have to openly associate with the assassin, so that it will look like a disgruntled Fire Nation citizen assassinating the ruler they're unhappy with, a happy accident for us."

Aang seemed to consider this for a moment. "You know, Katara, I don't think you're right about an assassin, but you might be on the right track. Defeating Ozai individually does seem to be the key to all of this, but maybe he doesn't even have to die. Maybe I could go and talk to him and convince him to stop this."

She sighed. She should have expected him to say something like that. "If you're going to talk to him in person, can you at least agree to ask the Earth King for some defense? Just some soldiers to guard the borders, just in case. They don't have to actually fight. You can go with them and meet Ozai with people guarding you, since it will take some time for us to assemble our defenses and he may be upon us before you're able to travel to the Fire Nation."

Surprisingly, Gyatso agreed with her. "Aang, if you want to try to convince him to back down, you should have soldiers guarding you. We are all powerful benders, but you know as well as I that our bending has not been created for a battle. If Ozai makes it to our shores before you get to him, we will need protection for our people. Earthbenders are quite good at building defenses."

Aang tapped a finger on his chin thoughtfully. "Prince Zuko, how long do you think we have?"

The prince, who had folded his arms and slouched in his chair unhappily, shrugged. "I left three weeks ago. I think it will take a while to actually convince people that this is a good course of action, then of course there's actually gathering the army and navy, which will take a while… six months, maybe? I can't give you anything better than a rough estimate, although I have a friend I can write to who might be able to give you a better idea."

"Six months. Maybe I should leave now to talk to Ozai before he gets any farther along in his plan."

"No!" shouted Katara and the Council members almost simultaneously.

"Why not? I trust you all to take care of setting up defenses, you don't really need me." Katara stared at him incredulously. Was he seriously considering abandoning his kingdom when they needed him? Even if the rest of them could handle the logistics, he was the face of the country. People would be scared if he disappeared.

Gyatso softly explained to him that he could not abandon his duties like that, as much as he thought he could help more elsewhere. "Your face, Aang, is a symbol of hope that will be needed in the coming months. You cannot leave until the country is ready for it, or you will leave us in chaos that I do not believe we could resolve."

Aang sighed in resignation. "Okay, I guess you're right. So should we send someone to the Earth King to ask for help?" Sister Iio, still not convinced this was the best course of action, scoffed loudly, but said nothing.

Monk Tashi volunteered to go on his sky bison, as the request was big enough to require a sitting Council member go in person and Tashi had been a negotiator for many years before retiring to the Southern Air Temple. "I should be able to get to Ba Sing Se in a couple of days," he said. The city's location at the foot of the mountains that led to the Northern Air Temple meant it was a fairly quick journey on sky bison to the largest city in the world. "When we have reached favorable terms, I'll return. I hope that it will not take long. Surely they will understand our plight."

"Then our meeting is adjourned," Aang finished, the terrible news visibly weighing on him, the cheerful young man of earlier gone. "We have a plan and there is nothing more we can do right now. I only hope we can resolve this without violence." He stood and wandered towards his bedroom, a signal to the rest of them that they had been dismissed. Katara glanced over at her husband, who was staring out the open window, and went to hug him.

"We'll fix this, Aang. We always fix things. There's nothing we can't handle."

He turned to look at her. "I don't know, Katara. We either die or give up who we are. I don't see a way out of this."

Realizing nothing she could say would help, she silently kissed his cheek and left, one hand briefly lingering on his shoulder in sympathy.

* * *

A/N: First non-smutty chapter! Ozai is basically a psychopathic Henry VIII. Also, I have a really difficult time writing adult Aang. I don't think he would have grown out of a lot of his more child-like traits in the show (pranks, loving animals, not having any qualms about deserting the people who depend on him if he thinks he's needed elsewhere... etc) so I've included them. Meh.

Possibly more light lemons next chapter. I haven't quite decided. As always, let me know what you think! (I see all of you silent readers. You should review. :P)


	5. Chapter 5: Apotheosis

**Chapter 5: Apotheosis**

Katara spent the night and the following day in her own rooms, the ocean blue and crisp white decor soothing her troubled mind. She requested maps from the library and went over them carefully, trying to plan in her head like her brother Sokka would. Sokka had always had a talent for this sort of thing, but it did not come as easily to Katara. Looking at the location of the Fire Nation capital, she theorized that they would probably make landfall somewhere in the northwestern Mo Ce Sea, perhaps near Mount Makapu. It would be a hard trek across a mountain range and a large river for them to reach Air Noble City. Alternatively, they could sail north to the polar regions then sail southeast along that same river and that way bring their navy with them to attack the city, but it would be a much longer trip.

She chewed on the end of a pen, lost in thought. Was Ozai the kind of person who would prefer a straight, direct route even if there were obstacles or would he take the easier way? The longer travel over water made more sense to her, but then she had been all but raised on ships and had an affinity for water. She had no idea if Fire Nation people even liked traveling by ship. Or they could even be using war zeppelins. That could open up a host of other paths she hadn't even considered yet. Maybe she should ask Zuko what he thought about zeppelins versus ships, and which route Ozai might take. He seemed a likely person to know.

Regardless, Ozai was most likely to attack from the western side of the city's peninsula, and that meant the people would probably be safe for a time in the mountains. There were many smaller towns hidden in the mountains to the northeast that people could move to when the time came, not to mention the Northern Air Temple. She would have to contact the leaders of the towns and ask them how many they'd be willing to take in. Knowing that her people could, at least for a while, be safe assuaged her worry somewhat. Even if the Air Kingdom didn't come out of this intact, perhaps the Air Kingdom subjects would be able to survive and live as Fire Nation citizens.

The defenseless subjects momentarily taken care of, she started tracing out an outline of what she felt were the most important places to defend. Feeling completely out of her depth when considering things like numbers of troops and battle lines, something she'd never been taught how to do, she instead began circling places on her copy of the Air Kingdom map that she thought were worth saving. Obviously the city, specifically the port. The Pohaui Temple, which had formerly been an Earth Kingdom stronghold and so should be pretty easy to defend; the Herbalist's Institute, which provided valuable careers to unmarried women whose families kicked them out and could additionally provide healing services for wounded soldiers; a small abbey on the northern coast of the Mo Ce Sea, not as important as the Eastern or Western Air Temples but still valuable; definitely Yu Dao, which was the second largest city in the Kingdom and could potentially be a first point of attack for Ozai… There were so many places, so many people to protect. Maybe this was hopeless and they should all just hide now. She covered her face with her hands.

There was a polite knock at her door and Aang entered, his face uncharacteristically grave. "Katara, are you okay? I haven't seen you all day."

She smiled blearily. "Just tired and wanted to read today. I didn't mean to worry you."

He took in her table, strewn with maps and scribbled on pieces of paper, picking up one map where she's drawn possible routes for Ozai to take. "What is all of this? Are you trying to plan a war? I thought we weren't going to do that."

Katara snatched the map from him, hugging it to her chest. "No, well, kind of, it just was bothering me so I thought I'd try to figure out what Ozai might do, is all."

"No offense, Katara, but are you sure you're the right person to do this? I'm not sure you'd know what's best for us to do."

Angry, she scoffed at him. "And you would be? At least I'm realistic." Pointing to herself, she continued loudly, "At least I'm trying to figure out how to save our people, Aang! Instead of just hoping that everything will be all fluffy kittens and puppies! Have you even given some thought as to how bad this could be, or do you prefer to live in your fairytale land where nobody will ever hurt us?" She had maybe gone too far with that, she thought as she watched him recoil in pain.

"What is wrong with you, Katara? Don't you understand what's at stake here? There are more important things than staying alive; there's keeping your soul in one piece too, and it's like you don't even see why that's important!"

Crossing her arms, she turned her back to him. "Yeah, well, maybe I'm just not Air Noble enough to understand that," she huffed.

"Maybe you're not," Aang replied sadly.

Carefully controlling her voice, she stated calmly, "Aang, would you mind leaving to give me some rest? Perhaps after I rest I will see your side."

Aang came around to her and kissed her on the forehead. Like I'm a child, she thought petulantly, or maybe a cute pet. "I hope so, my queen." Bowing, he left gracefully, pulling her door shut behind him.

She waited a full minute, to be sure he was gone, before she threw the first book. "Fuck him!" she yelled as it hit the wall with an extremely satisfying thud, so she threw another. And another. Eventually, all the books in her room rested at the foot of the wall in a haphazard pile. Her anger still bubbling over, she turned around to bend water from one of several full vessels she always kept in her room and froze when she saw Zuko staring at her through her open door.

"What are you doing here?" she declared defiantly, trying to hide the note of embarrassment that he, a virtual stranger for all that she'd slept with him twice, had just seen her having a temper tantrum.

As seemed to be usual with him when he felt awkward, which seemed to happen a lot, he rubbed the back of his neck. "I… uh… I came to check on you, but then you were in the middle of something," here he glanced at the inelegantly piled books, "and I didn't want to interrupt. You know, in case you threw something at me."

She stomped back to her chair and leaned back in it. "I was doing fine, but then my ass of a husband came in to tell me I should just not bother trying to do anything because I have no idea what's important. You can actually come all the way in, you know. I won't throw anything at you, unless you decide to be an ass too."

He closed the door behind him, which made the room feel suddenly too small, but Katara shoved the feeling of inappropriateness aside. Now was not the time. Now was the time to be angry. Walking over to the table, he picked up the exact same map Aang had. "Are you… trying to figure out where my father might invade?" he asked, his forehead wrinkled in puzzlement.

Katara blinked in astonishment. She hadn't expected him to be able to decipher her scribblings. "Yes, but I'm not very good at it. Aang was right about that." She sighed. "I have no training or anything in how armies work. I was just trying to think like my brother."

He set the map back down. "No, actually, that's not bad. I think there's some things you didn't consider, but your two most plausible routes seem likely to me, too. Your brother must be pretty smart," he said with a teasing smile.

Her finger traced circles on another map as she leaned into her other hand. "He really is." Unexpectedly, she felt her eyes fill with tears, and she sniffed. "I keep thinking how useful he'd be right now and how much we- how much I need him. I really miss him, even if he is an annoying jerk sometimes. Do you know I haven't seen him in three years? Not since I went to visit him when his most recent kid was born."

His warm hand encompassed hers, stilling the absent circling. "You told me the other night, remember? Why don't you write him a message? He probably misses you too, and if he's anything like you say he is, he'd probably want to help."

She stared at his hand and shrugged. "Maybe." Zuko scrabbled around the table and found a blank piece of paper, then grabbed her pen and handed them to her. "You really think I should write him?" she asked, a note of hope in her voice.

"I'm going to sit right here until you do."

She scrubbed her nose with her sleeve, as blue as her walls today, and dipped her pen in ink. _Dear big brother,_ she began,

 _How are the kids and Suki doing? You haven't had another one that you haven't told me about, right? Because you know I'd have to water-whip you if you did._

 _As much as I'd love to be writing you just to chat, which we don't do nearly enough, by the way, the truth is that I need your help. We just got word that the Fire Lord has gone crazy and plans to invade us, something about wiping out an old religion to bring in the new one, where he's a god. Yeah, like I said, he's gone crazy. Anyway, obviously things are pretty desperate for us and Aang is being, well, Aang about the whole thing. You remember how he is. He thinks he can solve the problem by talking to the Fire Lord, like they're kids and Ozai wants his cookie._

 _I'm trying to be realistic about this but I know I can't plan an entire defense by myself. We sent a Council member to the Earth King, but I'd rather have you here than a thousand Earth Army generals. Can Kyoshi spare you for a while? I doubt the Fire Lord will be going after anyone but us anytime soon, so they'll probably be safe._

 _Please come, Sokka. I don't know what to do. Suki and the children are, of course, welcome too, although if you don't want them to be in this part of the world anytime soon I'd understand. If you decide to come, write me and I can send a sky bison for you._

 _Love always,_

 _Katara_

She sprinkled sand on the letter and folded it, sealing it with her personal seal, the same symbol that was on her mother's necklace. "There, you happy?"

"Not until you actually send it."

Katara rolled her eyes at him. "Now that I wrote it, I'm going to send it. I won't just throw it away. Besides, you were right, instead of just wishing Sokka was here it makes more sense to ask him to actually be here. I'll ask a servant to take it to the mews later."

"Fine, I believe you." Taking a breath like he wanted to say something, he bit his lip and was silent.

"What? Do you want to ask me something?"

"Yes, but I don't want to pry."

Katara was very curious now. Maybe he would ask her if they could break in her bed, so to speak. She could use some stress relief. "I don't mind."

"Okay, well, I was wondering. How exactly did you and Aang meet? Maybe I'm wrong, but from everything you say about him, it doesn't sound like you have much in common. I guess I'm just kind of curious why you married him."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You mean, because of the sleeping with strangers or because of the yelling and throwing things after a conversation with him?"

"And that you seem to have very different views on how to run a country."

She sighed. "It was a long time ago. We were young, and I was so full of hope, and he was so very special. Let's see, it's must have been almost ten years ago now. I was sixteen and still living at the South Pole and Aang came to our village for a while as our priest, the beginnings of his novitiate years. You know they have to travel from place to place serving when they're novices?" Zuko nodded. "He was just a kid, really, but he was so full of life and he convinced me to travel with him. I didn't know he was the Lama, then, although I found out soon enough. Traveling with him was great; I'd never seen so much of the world. And he made everything so much fun, even sleeping in the rain and slogging through deserts. I guess I just sort of fell in love with his optimism. It made me feel like I could be a better person."

"And now? What happened?"

She laughed, a breathy, sad little chuckle. "Ah, now I've gotten older and more practical and realized that maybe being eternally optimistic isn't the solution to all of life's problems. Not to mention it's hard when you're always feeling like you could be a better person, but never feel like you're a good enough person. I guess that's what happens when your husband is a spiritual leader and you live in a nation known for its priests. Aang is a wonderful person, he truly is, but I always feel like he's disappointed in me if I don't live up to his expectations, and I almost never do."

"I'm sorry," Zuko said gently. "That sounds really rough."

Katara wiped a tear from her cheek she hadn't even realized was forming and laughed again. "Yeah, but I brought it on myself, didn't I? Of course, how well can you really know what you want when you're eighteen and decide to marry the boy you've been following around the world for two years, hoping maybe you can just keep following him? How was I supposed to realize I don't really want to follow someone for the rest of my life? Maybe I shouldn't have let myself be so star-struck."

"You were a kid. Everyone makes mistakes when they're young. I know I did," he finished darkly.

"Mistakes that don't go away for your entire life? I doubt that."

"You'd be surprised." Katara noticed that he reached up as if to touch his scar, but stilled his hand before it got there. "I made the mistake of thinking my father was a worthwhile person for way too long."

"At least you got away from him."

"My uncle's fault, mainly. He showed me how wrong my father was, but it took him a long time to convince me."

"I guess we both made the mistake of idolizing someone when we were too young, then."

"And now we're stuck with the consequences of our decisions," Zuko finished. They both stared off into the distance, lost in memories.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, Aang comes off as pretty arrogant, doesn't he? He is, but I do actually think he's right. Preserving cultural identity is really important, and losing it can lead to a lot of bad things for a country (see Germany after WWI, for example, or the majority of indigenous peoples, especially in the US and Canada). That being said, he's being unrealistic about the situation as a whole, and Katara being the practical person that she is, this drives her nuts. So conflict ensues! Obviously this calls for some Sokka.

Also, the whole Katara-following-Aang thing makes me hate the comics. Ugh. Way to remove any trace of Katara's personality. She deserves so much more than to just be Aang's girlfriend-do they not remember the whole story arc where she forced Pakku to teach her waterbending because she was not going to sit aside and be what someone else wanted her to be? I could seriously rant about this forever, and this is why I like Zutara better, as Zuko's much more accepting of her fallibility than Aang, like in The Southern Raiders. He actually tries to understand her motivations and help her fulfill them, rather than subsuming them into his own motivations like Aang does. Bah.

Oh, and I just figured out how to do lines because I'm an idiot! Lolol.


	6. Chapter 6: Gentle Sin

**Chapter 6: Gentle Sin**

After a few minutes of silence, Katara's stomach rumbled loudly. Zuko eyed it askance. "Have you not eaten today or something?"

She placed a hand on it, as if that would silence the restless grumbling. "No, I was too anxious."

"Isn't that the point of servants, to bring you things? Have one of them bring you food."

She side-eyed him. "Zuko, they're people too. You shouldn't talk about them like that."

"I'm not degrading them; I've served people food and tea quite a lot in my life. All I'm saying is that's what you pay them for."

"Ah, the mystery of Zuko deepens, you used to be a waiter? I'd love to hear that story."

"Stop changing the subject and eat. Then maybe I'll tell you about it. It's not really all that exciting."

She huffed and went over to a bell-pull to summon a servant. "You know it won't look good for me if a servant sees us in here alone. Aang may be a trusting sort, but I don't particularly want to become the subject of gossip."

"Okay, so I'll hide in your washroom. I'll be your dirty little secret." He grinned at her rakishly and went off to remove himself from view of the sitting room door.

"Yeah, sure, be my secret the one time we're actually _not_ doing something dirty," muttered Katara under her breath as a maid stepped in, curtseying gracefully. "Liu, would you mind bringing me some food from the kitchens? I haven't eaten all day and I'm sure dinner's already been served," she added with a glance at the darkening sky through her window.

"Of course, your Grace. Do you have any preference for what kind of food?"

"No, not really. I'm sure whatever's left over from dinner is fine. Just bring a lot, please, I'm very hungry."

"Whatever you wish, mistress."

Katara smiled at Liu as she curtsied again. "Thanks so much, Liu, you're great. I really appreciate it."

"Just doing my job," Liu stated with a friendly smile. She was usually the one who helped Katara dress or fix her hair when she needed it, and Katara thought that in a different world they could have been friends. Having servants was still weird to her sometimes, even after so many years.

Liu closed the door behind her and Katara waited a moment before calling out, "Okay, Zuko, you can come out now." As he appeared from her bedroom door, she slumped back in her chair, stomach still growling.

"Are you alright?" Zuko asked, concerned.

"It's just been a rough day, I guess. What with the imminent doom of my country and the big fight with my husband. You know, the little things in life. Oh, and the continually growing realization that my husband and I aren't working anymore, which you're not helping, by the way."

Zuko pointed to himself and raised an eyebrow, as if to say _Who, me?_

"Yes, you. You are a giant problem for me right now."

"Well, I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention. I can leave if you want." Surprisingly, he didn't seem mad. Just kind of disappointed, and maybe a little sad.

"I know, I know, it's not your fault. And I don't want you to leave; that's the problem. Having you here is driving the point home that… that I'm not happy anymore." Silence followed her statement, the first time she had really admitted it to herself. Up until now, this had all been something temporary, an itch she figured would dissipate if she could just scratch it hard enough, but she had been lying to herself. This was a serious problem, and it probably wasn't going to go away. Here she was, feeling more of a connection to a man she'd met two days ago than to her husband of eight years. Should she just send him away? Would that make things better? Or would it leave her feeling even more trapped in a lifestyle she was no longer suited for? He had been a catalyst, certainly, but she wasn't sure if the change he was bringing would end up leaving her feeling better or worse, and she hated not knowing.

Caught up in her thoughts, she failed to notice when Zuko knelt by her chair until he cupped her face in his hand. She closed her eyes and leaned against it. "What can I do to help?" he asked softly.

Turning to him, she opened her eyes. "Zuko, do you like me?" she impulsively demanded. "For more than the sex, I mean. Do you like me as a person? What do you think of me?"

He was taken aback by her questions. "Will me answering help you feel better?"

"I'd like to know."

Zuko sat back on his heels and thought for a moment. "You're interesting to talk to, and I like your practicality. I admire how much you care for your people and how you're cool in the face of adversity. I like, too, how you don't give up and are determined to find a solution, no matter what the problem is. Oh, and you're clearly intelligent, based on your attempts at strategy without having been taught anything about it." He met her gaze, finishing, "So yeah, I guess you could say I like you as a person."

Katara stared into his eyes, thinking _If no one else can make me happy right now, maybe I should take it where I can get it._ "Kiss me," she ordered.

"Before your servant gets back?"

She looked at him with big eyes, waiting. Leaning over the arm of the chair, he brushed his lips against hers, not the passionate kisses of before, but a gentle, comforting lover's kiss. She kissed him back desperately, twining her hands in his hair and pulling his face closer to hers. He pulled away from her, some emotion Katara couldn't identify shining in his eyes. "I thought I was a problem for you."

"You are," she sighed, "but you're also what I need right now. So I am going to use you shamelessly."

He barked a startlingly loud laugh and kissed the tip of her nose. "I hope you know I'm very okay with that. I did tell you I might get addicted."

Attempting to be cheerful, she waved a hand along her body. "Yes, I do have most excellent curves that are difficult to resist."

He eyed said curves appreciatively. "That, too, but I didn't mean just that. I'm in danger of being addicted to _you_. I like you as a person, remember?"

She sucked in a breath and was about to respond when there was a knock at her door. "Crap," she muttered. "Hide!" she hissed at Zuko quietly, then went to answer. Zuko dashed back to his previous hiding spot as Katara opened the door to admit Liu, leading a man carrying a large covered tray that smelled heavenly. "You can set that on the table, here," Katara gestured. The servants set their burdens down and left, respectfully bowing as they closed the door.

Zuko reappeared and lifted the covers, revealing a dish of braised vegetables and mushrooms. He wrinkled his nose. "Honestly, the food here is so bland. I don't know how you eat things that aren't spicy or have meat in them."

Katara swatted his hand. "You sound like my brother. The food grows on you! Our chefs are very good. And our desserts are incomparable." She grabbed chopsticks and began eating, ignoring Zuko rolling his eyes.

He let her eat in silence for a few minutes, then burst out, "Were you going to say something before your servants came in?"

She looked at him in surprise, chewing on a mushroom. Swallowing her bite, she brushed a strand of hair back from her forehead. "Just that I like you as a person, too."

Zuko shook his head and pulled the food away from her. "Nuh-uh. If I had to say what I liked about you, I deserve to hear the same."

"Do I really have to do this?"

"If you want your food back, you do."

"Fine. I like that you listen to me. I like that you were brave enough to come tell us about what your father is doing, and I admire the courage it took to get out from under his shadow in the first place. And, if I'm being honest, I like the attention you give me. Maybe you'll think that's shallow, but it's nice to feel wanted. And I like, too, that you seem to appreciate me as I am, which is something I need right now. Good enough?"

He broke into a grin and pushed the food back to her. "Definitely. You really think I'm brave?"

Katara resumed eating, chewing and swallowing a lotus bud. "Well, of course. You came all the way here by yourself, which by itself isn't nothing. You haven't told me much, but I'm sure it was a lot harder than you let on to realize your father wasn't the person you idolized. Why wouldn't I think you're brave?"

"I guess I just don't think of myself that way often."

For that, he got chopsticks poked at his chest. "You should, because I'm right and I know what I'm talking about."

He snatched the chopsticks from her. "You know, you can be very bossy sometimes."

"So I've been told," she replied dryly, trying to grab the chopsticks back. "It's an endearing character trait."

He hid the chopsticks behind his back and leaned forward, saying "I think so," before kissing her again, this time more firmly, need evident in the way he sought out her lips. She kissed him back, her desire for a comforting touch stronger than her want for food at the moment. He stood and picked her up, resulting in a squealed "Where are you taking me?" from Katara.

"Somewhere more comfortable," he replied as he deposited her on her large bed, then slowly began removing her slippers, kissing each foot as it was revealed. He crawled back up to her and kissed her deeply, following the kiss with a nuzzle to her neck.

They undressed each other slowly, reveling in each other's touch, savoring each delicious sensation. This time, when they made love, it was slow, gentle. They had had sex while drunk, done it in the heat of anger, and now did it to heal. The fire of their passion had been banked by sadness to a warm ember, the kind that appears small, but gives off the most comforting heat. As he entered her, Katara cried out softly. Zuko paused and looked at her uncertainly until she drew him to her, wrapping her legs around him and hiding her face in his shoulder. He thrust into her gently, whispering, "Is everything okay?" into her exposed ear.

She kissed the shoulder she was burying her face into. "Please don't stop," she whispered back, "I need you, Zuko."

Obeying her wish, he continued, kissing her ear and neck in reassurance that he was _here_ and he was not leaving. He gradually picked up speed, Katara panting encouragement, until he hit the rhythm he remembered from the previous times, making her moan in quiet release. This must have been a signal to him that he could let go, for shortly afterward he spent himself inside her, ending with a final kiss on her lips. He dismounted and lay next to her, staring at her until Katara met his gaze. Her cheeks rosy, she smiled at him, more genuinely happy than she'd been all day. "I feel better now."

"That's good to hear," he said as he got up and began to collect his clothes. Katara admired the view as he turned his back to her; she was a fan of how he looked from behind. Well, and from the front, really, but who was to say she couldn't enjoy both? Her hazy mind realized he was preparing to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?" she cried as she sat up, pulling a sheet to her. "Why are you leaving?"

He looked pointedly to her windows. "It's dark. I should probably go to my rooms."

"Please don't leave me. Not after today. Not after… just now. Please?"

Zuko hesitated, one leg in his trousers. "I don't know, Katara. I can't really sleep here, can I? It seems like a bad idea."

Dropping the sheet, she crossed her arms underneath her bare breasts. "I'm ordering you not to leave, as your queen." He dropped the trousers and laughed, climbing back into bed next to her. She snuggled up underneath his chin, enjoying the warmth he exuded.

"Honestly, you are _so_ bossy. Why am I putting up with it?"

Nuzzling his chest, she murmured into his torso, "Because you think I'm wonderful."

As she closed her eyes and let her consciousness drift elsewhere, she felt him rest his chin on top of her head, and just barely heard him whisper, "As always, you're right."

* * *

A/N: Two chapters in one day! With more sex! Not really lemons, though. It didn't fit the mood. I hope you enjoyed a chapter of pure, shameless fluff! Seriously, so much fluff. But they needed that, dontcha think?


	7. Chapter 7: Discovery and Discourse

**Chapter 7: Discovery and Discourse**

Katara slept soundly that night, snuggled against the warmth of the firebender (who knew that they meant you didn't really need blankets? It was great.) until she was rudely awoken by a loud clattering noise. Bolting upright, she saw Liu, who had dropped a tray of tea and toiletries and was now staring at the two very much naked people in Katara's bed. Zuko propped himself up behind her as Katara scrambled for the sheet at the foot of the bed, pulling it up to her neck. "Liu!" she cried. "This isn't what it looks like!" Heat suffused her entire face as she cringed at the whopper _that_ was.

Liu called her on her lie. "Your Grace, it looks like you've been sleeping with the Prince of the Fire Nation. Am I wrong? Please tell me I'm wrong."

Katara frantically tried to both cover her red face with her hands and hold the sheet over her naked body. "Okay, so maybe it is what it looks like. Please don't tell anyone, Liu, _please_ ," she begged.

"I'll get you a robe," Liu nodded smartly and went off to Katara's large closet.

Groaning, Katara sunk back into bed. "Shitshitshit," she muttered. "Double shit. How are you not freaking out?"

Zuko looked at her through slitted golden eyes. "I figured this was bound to happen if I stayed here, honestly."

She shoved him, which had absolutely no effect. "Then why'd you do it?"

He grabbed her and pulled her close, nuzzling her hair. "You asked so very nicely, I couldn't resist. Or did you forget that already?"

A polite cough disturbed Katara's giggle. "Your Grace?" Liu asked. "I brought you, uh, both robes." She held up two silk robes Katara wore before dressing, one a dark red and the other a flowered light green. "I thought the, hm, the prince might like something red?"

Katara's face turned red again against her will as she hastily grabbed the green robe and wrapped it around herself. Zuko, bemused by what was going on, belatedly did the same thing, although the robe was entirely too short on him, which made Liu giggle, of all things.

"Liu, can I speak with you in the sitting room?" Katara asked hesitantly as she bent up the spilled tea and deposited it in a dirty basin. Liu bowed and turned to leave the room. With a regretful glance at Zuko, Katara followed. "Liu, look, you don't understand, you can't tell anyone. Let me tell people in my own time. Please," she finished humbly.

Liu sat and folded her hands in her lap primly. "I'm not sure if I approve of this, Lady Katara."

Katara sank into a chair across from her, hugging her knees. "I know it's wrong. Trust me, I know. But you don't understand, I can't help myself."

"He _is_ good-looking," Liu admitted grudgingly. "May I be frank, your Grace?"

Katara nodded eagerly. "Yes, please, go ahead."

"Why are you throwing away what you have just because he's attractive? So many would kill to be where you are and you don't seem to care that you have great privilege in this world."

 _Ouch. Way to cut to the heart of things, Liu_ , Katara thought, taken aback by just how much that stung. She buried her face in her knees for a minute as Liu waited patiently. "If I'm being honest, I don't know. I haven't thought about the long-term consequences," she admitted.

Liu rose and smoothed her skirts. "I won't tell anyone about this, but may I suggest that you do, Lady Katara? I'll return with fresh tea after I clean up the mess I made; the Lama has requested a morning meeting with you, the Council, and… him." She glanced at the bedroom, distaste hidden well.

"Thanks, Liu," Katara responded in a small voice, remaining motionless on her chair. She heard Liu picking up the broken pieces of porcelain then exiting the room. A now-dressed Zuko poked her knee and she looked up at him.

"Are you okay?"

"I think you should leave," she replied hesitantly. "We're supposed to go to a meeting and you should probably go get ready."

"I doubt anyone was sent to bring me tea and fix my hair, at least." He grinned at her, but Katara couldn't find the humor in it.

"Just go."

"Oh. Okay. See you later." And he left too, leaving her momentarily alone. Last night, she had decided that she didn't care, that she enjoyed feeling confident and sexy and wanted too much to give this up. She had been so angry with Aang that some part of her thought maybe he deserved it, maybe this would show him that he needed to treat her better. Then yet another part of her had thought maybe the way she felt when sleeping with Zuko meant she should run away with him and forget everything else, although she knew that was ridiculous for so many reasons she couldn't even begin to count them. For one thing, it would be the same mistake she made with Aang, except for good sex instead of optimism. She barely knew him; who was to say she'd even like him once she got to know him better? Plus there were her people. Even if she didn't like their ruler overly much at the moment, she still cared about them. Not to mention she had had no indication that Zuko had any interest in running off with her anyway. So yes, that part of her needed to be thoroughly squashed.

What did she actually want? For the past four days she'd been trying to have everything: the responsibilities of a queen, the prestige of being married to the Lama, and then the comfort of a lover to fill in the gaps when her normal life wasn't enough. Now she realized this wasn't going to work. But she had no idea what to do about it. Well, that wasn't quite true. One of those things was more temporary than the others. Sex wasn't really worth giving up everything she had, was it? Besides, she'd lived with the dregs of affection she got in her marriage for years. What had even come over her to try to change that? She couldn't see him anymore. Her people needed her too much for her to abandon them, especially because she had to prevent Aang from doing the very same thing.

It depressed her, but she'd have to do it. Maybe she could find some task in this upcoming war (yes, Aang, it was going to be a war, she thought) that would make her feel fulfilled and needed. This was just the sacrifice she'd have to make. As Liu reentered with a fresh pot of tea, Katara remained silent as she moved to sit in front of her mirror and Liu began brushing her hair. Liu braided multiple strands, twisting them together into an elaborate updo, her hands gentle. As she finished, she bowed and took her leave. "Wait, hold on," Katara called, running to her table. "Can you take this to the mews, please? It's to be sent to my brother on Kyoshi Island."

Liu took the missive and tucked it in her sleeve, assuring Katara she would make sure it was sent. Katara hesitated as she turned to leave once more, then added "Thanks for your advice, Liu. It's given me things to think about."

"Always, your Grace," Liu replied as she closed the door behind her.

Now dressed and having finished her pot of tea, a thoughtful Katara entered Aang's sitting room for the second time in two days. This time, everyone else was already seated and waiting for her, including a disgruntled-looking Zuko, now in clean clothes and with hair in a neat topknot. She sat quickly next to Aang, ignoring the curious look Zuko was sending in her direction. Aang pressed his hands together. "Now that you're all here, the meeting can begin. I've been thinking about how to best deal with our situation, and I think we should evacuate the city and send everyone to the Air Temples for their protection."

 _Wait, Aang was taking this seriously? When did this happen?_ "It seems to me that, while I still don't believe we should fight back," he continued, "neither does preserving the souls of our people mean we should be sacrificing their lives. So over the next few months, I'd like for everyone but myself and a few of the best benders to leave the city. I will still attempt to talk to Ozai, but if that doesn't work, no one else will get hurt." _What is happening right now,_ Katara wondered in amazement. _He took me seriously!_ She realized she was staring at him as he winked at her. Heat rose to her cheeks as he took her hand under the table. _I'm sorry_ , he mouthed at her. Was this whole day going to be one guilt trip after another?

"You're wrong," Zuko stated grumpily. "You think my father doesn't have spies in this city? If you start evacuating to the Air Temples, he'll just attack them. He might do it anyway."

Katara shot a look at him. How dare he discourage Aang from finally being practical? "I think it's a great idea, although Prince Zuko does have a point. Maybe instead we could send people into the mountains, where they'd be harder to find."

"Harder to find, but also harder to provision," Gyatso responded.

She shrugged. "Maybe, but wouldn't it be worth it? We could figure it out."

"Katara has a point," Aang thought out loud. "It's definitely worth thinking about. That might be a better idea."

She smiled brightly, happy that he was listening to her. "Are we not going to talk about the other ridiculous part of your plan?" Zuko added abruptly. "The part where you and a few benders are going to take on an entire military? How are you even going to choose the benders?"

"No offense, Prince Zuko, but I think I know who the best benders in town are," Aang answered cheerily. "As long as they're okay with it, I have a few people in mind."

Katara squeezed his hand and turned to him. "That includes me, I hope. You know I'm the best waterbender here."

He looked down at the table. "I don't know, Katara. I'd rather keep you safe."

"But I can fight! Let me help you."

"Can we talk about this later? I don't think-"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Zuko interrupted. "There's no way this plan will work!"

"Oh, I think I know better than you what we're capable of," Aang said confidently.

Zuko stood, fists clenched at his side. "You have no idea the _knowledge_ and _experience_ you're lacking, Lama." With that, he turned on his heel and marched out, leaving the other six in the room staring after him in surprise.

"What's up with him?" Katara questioned with a tremulous laugh. When everyone turned to stare at her for disturbing the awkward silence, she slid down in her seat.

Aang patted her hand consolingly. "It's the Fire Nation people. They're all hot blooded." Murmurs of assent came from the four Council members, who had largely remained silent throughout this rollercoaster of a meeting. "Does anyone else have any problems with my idea?"

The Council looked at each other and shrugged. "Not really," said Gyatso, "although the question of where to evacuate the people needs to be considered. But that is something that does not need to be decided today." The Council rose, bowed to Aang, and left.

"I'm sorry, Katara," Aang sighed. "I should have listened to you sooner. I was arrogant and you were right. I still don't think violence is the answer, but saving lives is important too."

Katara stared at him as he leaned over and kissed her. First he listened to her, then he was apologizing? What if Liu had told him and this was some conspiracy to win her back? Or maybe the spirits had taken pity on her? She kissed him back hesitantly, his mouth feeling unfamiliar on her lips.

"Thank you, Aang. I appreciate your apology, and it means a lot that you listened to me. Now I really have to go," she finished as she stood and rushed out of the room, unsure what she was feeling. A desperate need to be in the water filled her, and she all but ran to her favorite pool where she could work out her conflicted feelings in peace.

* * *

A/N: Meh. Not 100% satisfied with this chapter, but it's also been a rough night (well, weekend really, went to a funeral yesterday and dealt with wedding stuff today. Sigh. You guys, planning a wedding is ridiculously stressful), so maybe I'm being more harsh than I should be. Aang isn't terrible! He sees sense occasionally! And poor Katara is going to try so hard to convince herself that's all she wants. Also, thinking back, I am SO GLAD I didn't marry the guy I dated at 16. He was a giant douche. But, in the way of sixteen year olds, I was hopelessly in love with him at the time.

Thanks for the reviews, guys! Celot, I am definitely taking what you said to heart, thanks for the constructive criticism! I like your idea of bringing meaty food. ;)


	8. Chapter 8: Duty Heavier than a Mountain

**Chapter 8: Duty Heavier than a Mountain**

Once she had made it outside, Katara dashed through the park-like grounds to her favorite pond, hidden inside a cluster of trees near the edge of the gardens. She quickly stripped off her outer layers of clothes and plunged into the clear blue pool, feeling much more at ease surrounded by her element. Bending the water into a ring around her, she began moving through the forms Master Pakku had taught her, beginning with the simple ones and working up to the more complex. She even created targets out of ice to practice her accuracy, and who could say if they were vaguely man-shaped? They could represent anybody. They definitely didn't represent the two most frustrating men in her life.

Still, it was incredibly satisfying to slice off their heads with water whips. "Take that, Zuko!" she yelled. "That's what you get for trying to make a scene with my husband! And Aang!" she yelled as she whipped the other target with a loud crack. "That's what you get for making everything more confusing even though I'd already made up my mind!" She melted both targets, not missing heads, and the water spread in ripples around her. "What is wrong with me?" She hit the water, inadvertently creating a large wave. "He's doing everything I want; isn't that supposed to make this easier? Agh!" Another large wave crashed against the shore.

"Okay, Katara, you need to breathe and shift your weight through the stances. You're making something that _isn't_ a problem into one. Zuko was a fling. You know that, he knows that. Now that Aang is willing to listen to you, it's time to go back to him," she stated firmly as she moved through the supple forms once more. "You love your husband. You do." Breathing deeply through her nose, she moved on to the faster-paced forms, focusing intently so that she had no space for pestering, intrusive thoughts.

Once she finished the last form, a spectacular column of water that was split into several threads and woven to make a net, she sank to the bottom of the pool, water bubbling up over her face. She watched her hair float around her in the clear water, holding her breath as long as she could. _You're the problem, Katara,_ she thought as she blew a bubble to the surface, _not them. You started this. If you had just been content with everything you have- and you have a lot!- this wouldn't be happening. This is all your fault._ As she sighed, exhaling the last of her air, more bubbles rose and she swam up with them, taking a deep breath as her face broke the surface. Feeling more resolved, if not necessarily better, she splashed to shore and bent the water off of herself until she was dry enough to dress.

She took her walk back slowly, enjoying the sunny weather. She was reluctant to go back inside, but lunch was soon and for once she wasn't tempted to miss it. She wanted to continue to show her commitment to Aang, although the show was mostly for herself, and her steps grew more determined as she drew closer to her rooms.

Lingering outside in the hallway was, unfortunately for her determination, Zuko. He leaned against the wall, eyes half-lidded in boredom and carrying something in his hand, although Katara couldn't tell what it was, as it was mostly in shadow. Taking a deep breath, she firmed her resolve to be done with him and continued marching towards the door. She was just going to ignore him and go inside. If he couldn't understand that, then she would just have to make it clear. That would work. Definitely. She could totally do this.

She reached for the doorknob when a pale hand blocked her way. Clearing his throat, Zuko began hesitantly, "I couldn't find you so I thought I'd wait here. I got you something… it was supposed to be meat but I couldn't find any so I brought you a custard tart instead." He finished in a rush, awkwardly proffering the tart for her approval. She gulped. He _would_ make this difficult. Shaking her head, she pushed his hand away.

"I'm sorry, Zuko, but I don't want it. Thank you for thinking of me. Now, please, I have to prepare for lunch."

He looked confused and maybe a little hurt; it was hard to tell. "Did I do something wrong? I know I shouldn't have blown up at Aang like that but I couldn't help it, he was being frustrating…" His voice trailed off as Katara fixed her face in a neutrally cool mask.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. We both knew this was a fling and now the fling is over. Thank you for the time we had together, but I don't need you anymore." She had to force the words out from the pit that had appeared where her heart normally was, keeping her face as still as possible. Each word struck him like an arrow, she could tell, although he quickly composed his features into a mask resembling her own.

"If that's the way you want it," he replied flatly after a few moments. Turning his back to her, he strode off, the tart in his hands smoking, then bursting into flame. Katara fled into her room and collapsed on her bed, burying her face in a pillow as she whispered to herself that this was the right thing to do and it was true, it had been just a fling and she would get over it quickly. Rolling onto her side, she curled up into a ball, staring at where he had been lying just this morning. _I didn't want to hurt you, Zuko, don't you see_ , she thought desperately, _this is just how it has to be if I want to take care of my people. I don't have a choice._ She wasn't sure what he would say to that. She thought he might understand, but then again, he'd never ruled a country, not yet. But how could he not understand that a fling wasn't worth giving up a throne for? Even if he had made her happier than she'd been in ages, he'd also made her feel guilty too. This was the way it had to be. It wasn't as if they loved each other.

She rose and washed the evidence of tears from her face, beading and braiding her hair more simply than Liu had done that morning. Checking to make sure her gown wasn't wrinkled beyond repair, she took a last deep, calming breath and left for lunch.

Lunch was uneventful, although Katara had to be careful to not get lost in melancholy. Aang was unusually attentive, perhaps sensing her pensive mood. It was nice, though it felt a bit like an itchy wool sweater that had grown too small, something confining and every so slightly uncomfortable. _Something that should be discarded_ , whispered a small voice in her head that Katara promptly stuffed away where she couldn't hear it any longer. As lunch ended, she decided to go into the city, perhaps do some shopping, perhaps visit a friend or two. She didn't much care for the idea of going to her room to mope the rest of the day, so she might as well do something fun instead.

Relaying her plans to Aang, explaining that she needed something to take her mind off the Fire Nation invasion, he nodded in sympathy. "I wish I could go with you, but I want to talk to Gyatso about where to evacuate the people too."

She waved him off. "It's not a problem, I'll be fine by myself. Go talk with Gyatso," she said as she shooed him away towards his meetings and plans. Making her way through the palace and exiting through the door that led most directly to downtown, she felt almost cheerful as she strode through the sunshine to the edge of the grounds. It was nice to be walking, breathing the fresh air. Her mind finally had other things to focus on than her current problems.

As she walked past an area of sunken earth earthbenders occasionally used to spar with airbenders, she heard the sounds of someone bending and looked over to see Zuko. His back towards her, he hadn't seen her yet, so she quickly ducked behind a nearby bush off the path, not wanting to confront him again. However, her curiosity won the better of her and she peeked around the edge of the bush to watch. She groaned inwardly. _Of course he has to bend shirtless. That's just not fair._ Of course, she had seen him shirtless before, but watching the muscles in action was entrancing, enough so that she couldn't stop watching.

While she didn't know anything about firebending, it seemed to her that he must be pretty good, based on the ease and grace of his movements. The forms he was going through were clearly familiar and had the look of those that had been done many times, as comfortable as an old pair of shoes. He appeared outwardly calm, but Katara winced at the ferocity of his movements. Although, that could simply be how he bent normally; she had no way to know. It did amuse her a little, though, to know that they both went off to bend when emotional. She continued to spy as he finished several more katas, then went to grab a towel, drying off before putting his shirt back on. He appeared to sigh, then headed back to the palace, causing Katara to scramble around her bush as quietly as she could to keep hiding from him. Finally, when he was a good distance off, she stood, brushed some errant leaves off her clothes, and continued on.

The afternoon in town was good for her. She enjoyed being around people who were not Aang and Zuko, and of course admiring the goods for sale was always fun. She ended up buying a sea ivory hair comb that reminded her of her home growing up, a place she hadn't visited in far too many years. It was quite beautiful, carved with swirls that could represent either the Air Nation or the Water Tribes, depending on how you looked at it, so Katara thought it fit her nicely. She also ended up buying a little jade model of the Earth King's bear to give to Sokka for his kids, who would probably think a toy of the just-a-bear-and-nothing-else was hilarious, like some made up creature. Finally, the market closest to the palace thoroughly searched, she sat for a calming cup of tea with cakes at her favorite tea house and headed back, as it was now mostly dark.

Her walk back was uneventful and she realized as she neared her rooms that she was actually tired; not the exhaustion of depression, but the good, bone-deep tiredness of having had a full afternoon. She smiled, then, happy that her day had had such a beneficial effect, and resolved to do it again, exploring other parts of the city, if she started to feel despondent. As she opened her door, something fluttered down and fell to the floor. She bent down to pick it up, realizing it was a letter and moving to a lit part of her sitting room where she could get a better look.

It was sealed with the Fire Nation emblem, meaning it could only be from one person. Nervous, she wasn't sure if she wanted to rip it open or just rip it up, so she hesitantly broke the seal. Inside, written in bold strokes, was a letter to her. It said:

 _Katara_

 _I want you to know I'm not angry with you. I was, a little, at first, but now I think I understand what you're doing. You think that your honor compels you to fulfill your duty as a queen and a wife, and that whatever we have doesn't fit into that duty. And that is true. You have chosen your country, and that is admirable. But as someone who has struggled for most of their life with what it means to have honor, I hope you will listen if I offer you some advice that has helped me. Understand I am not writing this as a jilted lover trying to win you back, but as someone who knows what it is like to be torn between your perceived duty and what you want, to think you know what the right thing to do is but to not be sure if that's truly how you want to live your life._

 _You want to help your people and you think the only way you can do that is to remain with your husband. I understand this. My uncle showed me, though, after years of struggling to figure it out, that you cannot rule a country while being false. I hope I'm not assuming too much, but from what you've said to me it seems you are unhappy in your marriage, and are perhaps now in denial about just how unhappy you are. If you lie to yourself, give up who you are to keep power, you aren't capable or deserving of using that power. It's only when you are able to accept yourself, with all of your flaws and needs, that your people can accept you as well. You cannot fulfill your duty while lying to yourself. I should know; I thought my duty was to be a loyal son to a cruel father and for many years that was what I tried to do. All it earned me was a scar and exile. I don't want that for you- not only do you deserve better, but your people do as well._

 _Honor is something you can only give yourself. No one else can give it or take it away. Don't take your honor away, Katara, just to do what you think is your duty. You benefit no one by doing this, least of all yourself. If you truly have no interest in me, then fine. That's not what this is about. Just don't keep pretending your life can continue in this same path. I know you want to help people. The thing is, you can't do that without first helping yourself._

 _Zuko_

Katara read through the letter again, curled up in her favorite chair. Then a third time, parsing each word carefully, thinking about what he was saying. Eventually, she fell asleep curled up in the chair, the letter still held in her lap.

* * *

A/N: I had some writer's block writing this chapter, unfortunately, but it's definitely time for Katara to face the truth about her feelings. And who better to talk to her about honor and duty than Zuko? He also has a penchant for writing letters to exes... heh.

If you don't recognize it, the chapter title is from a saying in the Wheel of Time series: "Duty is heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather." I thought the first part was appropriate for Katara at this point.


	9. Chapter 9: Admissions

**Chapter 9: Admissions**

The next couple of days passed in a blur of routine, Katara going through the motions of sitting in court to hear grievances, eat meals, go to meetings… all the things she had to do, while inwardly her thoughts dwelled on that letter and what she was going to do about it. A message came from Brother Tashi, letting them know he had begun negotiations with the Earth King, but this didn't dissuade the conflict inside her, her more honest side wanting to come clean and have a frank discussion with Aang, the other side, who didn't want things to change, trying to convince her that her life as it was would be good enough. At night, she tossed and turned, her sleep filled with restless dreams of running and fighting, looking for an escape from all of the turmoil and stress.

Finally, the next morning something different happened, enough to break her out of the vicious cycle of her inner argument. When Liu woke her with tea, she also brought a reply letter from Sokka.

 _Katara,_ the letter started,

 _WHAT?! We are on our way RIGHT NOW. Our priest is bring us on her bison, so don't send one for us. We left the kids with Suki's sister. It shouldn't take us that long to get there, so expect us in a few days. I'm glad you wrote me._

 _Speaking of, you need to tell Dad. You know he'll help, and he'll be really hurt if you don't. I know you haven't talked to him in a long time, but he NEEDS to know about this. If you haven't written him by the time we get there, I'm going to tie you to a chair until you do._

 _Stay safe._

 _Sokka_

At least preparing for Sokka to come and visit would give her something to focus on, Katara thought sourly. Although now she had to tell Aang she had asked him to come; she wasn't sure how he'd react. He liked Sokka, but that might be more of an admission that war was coming than he was willing to give. She quickly dressed and rushed off to find Aang, clutching the letter like it was a lifeline.

He wasn't in his rooms or eating breakfast, so she continued searching until she finally found him outside, showing some airbending tricks to a child, maybe eight or nine. He was laughing and looked happier than she had seen him in days, which made her heart ache with loss. Ignoring the ache, she ran up to him, out of breath with exertion. "Aang!" she panted. "Sokka's on his way!"

He turned and looked at her, his face growing more serious. "What? Why?"

Catching her breath, Katara responded, "Because I asked him to. I think he can help."

Aang shooed the kid away, who ran off giggling, and ran his hand over his bald head. "If that's what you think is best, I guess. It could be nice to have someone who's more… experienced with this kind of thing. Is he bringing his family?" His face brightened at the thought of seeing his nieces and nephew.

She shook her head. "No, I guess they didn't think it was safe. It sounds like Suki's coming, though. Here," she thrust the letter at him for him to read.

He scanned it quickly. "Why does he want you to write your father? And what does he mean you haven't talked in awhile? I thought you talked to him all the time."

Scuffing her foot on the ground like a shy teenager, she cleared her throat. "We kind of… had a fight a few years ago. I didn't think it was worth mentioning. Sokka wants me to write him because he'd bring ships, but I don't know if I want to involve him in all of this. It's not his fight."

"I'm sorry, Katara. I wish you had told me, maybe I could have helped. I'm not sure involving him is the right thing to do, either. We don't want it to look like we're preparing for war. We're just preparing to defeat Ozai. But you should forgive your father and write to him; you know how important forgiveness is, especially with your father!"

 _Says the man who never knew his parents_ , Katara thought darkly, although that wasn't quite fair, as Aang probably loved Gyatso in much the same way Katara loved Hakoda. "I'll think about it," she replied quietly.

Taking her hand and walking back inside, he finished brightly, "That's great! Now I guess we need to find a good room for Sokka and Suki and make sure it's clean!"

A suitable room was found and cleaned, leaving Katara with nothing else to distract her. She fell back into her daily routine, her mind uneasy, having a hard time faking her usual cheerfulness. Every time she saw Zuko, she studiously avoided talking to him, as she wasn't ready to respond to what he had said in his letter. He probably noticed she was avoiding him, but he didn't make an effort to force her to interact with him, so she didn't care what he thought. Not really.

Then, three days later, Sokka and Suki arrived, along with their priest, who promptly resupplied and, apologizing for leaving in a hurry, left again. It was raining that day, the gray skies suiting Katara's mood, even though she often enjoyed being in the rain. Sokka and Suki entered the main hall dripping wet, carrying bags that were likewise wet. Quickly bending the water off of them and their luggage, Katara rushed to them, her brother catching her in a bear hug. "Sokka!" she squealed. "You're finally here! I'm so happy to see you." She turned and hugged Suki as well, slightly more sedately. "And you too, Suki! You look wonderful. I'm so glad you could come, you'll be such a help."

She gestured for a servant to grab their bags and led them to their room, chattering as she went about how happy she was they had come, how were their kids, how was everyone on Kyoshi. "And here's your room," she said brightly. "I hope you like it."

Sokka, who had barely been able to get a word in edgewise with his unusually chatty sister, took his bag from the servant and dropped it on the floor. "Okay, so, unpacking later. We need all the important people around her and preferably some drinks. Alcoholic ones."

Suki, who had placed her things on the bed, agreed. "We've been talking about what to do on our trip up here, and we think that the sooner we can start planning, the better."

"Why drinks?" Katara asked hesitantly.

"I don't know about you, but planning for a war makes me want to drink," answered Sokka. "It helps bad news go down smoother."

Suki rolled her eyes. "What Sokka's trying to say is that having some wine can help keep people from panicking, not that he wants to get drunk. On Kyoshi we always like to have something at our meetings."

"I guess we can do that, although none of the Council members nor Aang really drink… I wouldn't mind some, though. Excuse me for a moment," she said, stepping outside to call one of the servants that had carried bags. She quickly told them to send messages to the Council members and Aang to gather for a meeting. Fortunately, they were all still here waiting for Tashi to return. The servant turned, preparing to run to obey her orders, when she stopped him, realizing she'd forgotten someone. "Wait… you had better get a message to Prince Zuko as well. He should probably be there."

"Yes ma'am," replied the servant, bowing and dashing off. Katara gestured to the other bag carrier, who had been waiting patiently, and asked her to see if there was any kind of wine in the kitchens that could be served, and to take it to the meeting hall as soon as she could. The second servant also bowed and departed, leaving Katara to go catch up with her brother and sister-in-law.

"Okay, all taken care of. We should be able to start the meeting soon; the servant will come get us," she stated, smiling triumphantly. Taking a seat across from the couple, she began to speak, but was interrupted by Sokka.

"Katara, how are you really? How are you handling all this? You're not acting like I thought you would."

She shrugged nonchalantly. "I've done everything I can for now. I told Aang and the Council that I thought we should evacuate the city to the mountain towns, and they're thinking about it, although Aang wants to send them to the Air Temples. Until we hear from the Earth King, I really can't do anything else." Which was true, she realized. She really wasn't all the distressed about their impending invasion.

"Still, you seem preoccupied. Either you're lying or something else is bothering you. What's wrong?" Sokka prodded.

She gulped and decided to tell them. If she could trust anyone to give her advice, it would be them. "I think…" she began hesitantly. "I think my marriage might be ending."

Sokka's reaction was an immediate "What?!", while Suki came over to sit beside her and put an arm around her. Katara leaned into her sister-in-law, who smelled vaguely of wet bison. The comfort felt too nice to pull away, however. Calming down, Sokka tried again. "What happened?"

"I realized lately that things aren't working anymore," she said, tears beginning to run down her face. "I'm not happy; I feel like I've given up so much and changed so much and it's still not good enough. I always feel like a disappointment to him and I can't do it anymore. I keep trying to tell myself I can make it work, but it's not true. I can't anymore. I just don't want to lose all of this," she wept, gesturing at the room around them. "I don't think I can lie anymore, though."

Sokka sat on her other side, meeting his wife's gaze over Katara's head and wrapping his crying sister in his strong arms. "Look, Katara, if that's what you want then we're here for you. I will personally beat Aang senseless for making you feel this way if you want to. And hey, you can always come live with us! Our kids would love to see their Auntie Katara everyday. If you're this unhappy, then leaving him is the right thing to do, no matter how much it hurts right now."

She sniffed loudly, trying to avoid getting her tears and snot all over Suki's tunic, and smiled weakly. "You don't have to beat him up. He's not mean or anything, I think something's wrong with me, not him."

"Oh, sweetie," Suki sighed. "Nothing's wrong with you. Sometimes two people just aren't meant to be together, and that's okay. It's not your fault. It happened with my oldest sister and her husband, too. They just grew apart."

Katara tried unsuccessfully to wipe her face with her hands and nodded. "Yeah, I guess that's what happened."

"We'll help you out," stated Sokka. "It sounds like you need some time away from him to get your feelings sorted out. We can make sure you get that, right Suki?"

Suki nodded, a determined look on her face. "What helped my sister was a good long vacation in Ba Sing Se. We might not be able to send you there right now, with the problems with the Fire Nation, but we'll figure something out."

"Thanks," answered Katara, fighting against more tears that threatened to break free, although these were tears of gratitude, brought on by the warmth of her love for them. "Thank you for letting me cry on you. I love you guys." Now, even more than before, she was grateful she had written them.

After a few minutes spent in silence, a knock at the door admitted the returning servant informing them that everyone was on their way to the meeting hall. Katara quickly washed her face with cool water she bent out of a basin, hoping it would erase the traces of tears. Suki squeezed her hand gently and they were off, following the servant to the meeting hall, where they normally held meetings with too many people to comfortably fit in Aang's sitting room. The hall contained a long rectangular table and maps hung inbetween large windows. Aang was already seated at the head of the table, and the three of them encountered Sister Iio as they entered. Katara took her customary seat next to Aang, avoiding his eyes, and motioned for Suki and Sokka to sit next to her.

Gradually, the others filtered in, along with a butler, who carried a cart laden with glasses and ice wine. He distributed the glasses and filled them, allowing Katara to take a grateful sip, encouraged by the warmth seeping down to her stomach. Zuko entered, his hair mussed and face slightly sweaty as though he'd been bending again, followed by Gyatso, who was the last person needed.

At a nod from Aang, Sokka stood. "I don't know if you all remember me," he began, "but I'm Katara's older brother, Sokka, and this is my wife Suki, Captain of the Kyoshi Warriors. Katara wrote us to tell us what you had recently learned about the Fire Nation, and I want to start by confirming that it does indeed appear they're planning for a large-scale invasion. They've pulled the majority of their ships and troops from Whale Tail Island for the first time in decades, which has fortunately for us allowed all the Kyoshi Warriors to return home."

Katara had completely forgotten about the Whale Tale Island Conflict, a pointless, never-ending battle over one island between the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation that had been going on for over fifty years. It was really just a power struggle, as there wasn't much reason to fight over that particular island, but it had been going on for so long that most people accepted it. However, it was the reason for Kyoshi Island's extensively trained warriors, as Kyoshi was unfortunately usually caught in the middle of the conflict. She was glad the Fire Nation had pulled back from that, allowing Sokka and Suki to actually leave Kyoshi.

"But that means the Fire Lord is definitely gathering troops," Sokka continued, "unfortunately for all of you."

"Did you really doubt my information?" interrupted Zuko. "It came at great personal risk."

Confused, Sokka looked at Katara. She motioned for him to bend down and whispered, "That's the Fire Lord's son, Prince Zuko. He's the one who told us about the invasion. Sorry I didn't fill you in earlier."

Sokka straightened. "I'm sorry, Prince Zuko. I didn't know where the information had come from. Of course we wouldn't doubt you."

Zuko crossed his arms, but looked mollified. "Good."

"So, anyway, the point is, you all need to start planning right now. Have you told your civilians yet?"

Heads shook no around the table. "We kind of decided to wait until Tashi came back," answered Aang. "He's negotiating with the Earth King for defenses."

"What kind of defenses?" asked Sokka. "Troops? Tanks? Earthbenders?"

The airbenders looked back and forth between each other. "We weren't really sure," Aang replied, scratching his neck. "We don't want there to be any unnecessary violence so we don't really want troops…"

Sokka sighed loudly. "Okay, we'll talk about that later, but for now let's send a message to this Tashi telling him to ask for a contingent of earthbenders, enough to build a wall around the city quickly. That will be a good start and doesn't involve any… unnecessary violence."

The airbenders nodded, and Gyatso noted it on a piece of paper. "The most time sensitive thing is the evacuation," Sokka added. "Katara told me about the plans to evacuate the city and I think they're great. We need to send people into the mountains so they're hidden, and we need to start doing it as soon as possible. However, I doubt the towns are going to be happy about people randomly showing up, so we need to figure out a way to get them to agree to take the city dwellers in."

Suki tapped him. "What if we send someone to ask them? There's what, maybe twenty thousand people here? If we ask towns to take in five hundred to a thousand people apiece, we would only need thirty or so towns to agree to take people in. Someone traveling on an ostrich horse or sky bison could do that pretty quickly."

Aang piped in, "That could actually work. On a sky bison, you don't have to worry about the mountain roads, so you can travel a lot faster than someone on foot. But who would we send?"

Suki looked slyly at Katara. "What about Katara? She's important enough that the town leaders will be sure to listen to her, but I think we could all spare her for a few weeks."

Katara's eyes widened. This wasn't what she had in mind when they said she needed to get away. Then again, it could be nice to have an adventure. That could be exactly what her life was lacking. She did miss traveling, after all. "That's a great idea. I'll do it," she said quickly, before anyone else could decry the suggestion.

"We can't send her by herself!" Aang argued. "That's not safe. There are all kinds of wild animals that live in the mountains and sometimes there are bandits that wander in from the south."

Sokka looked around the table. "Okay, so we send someone else with her. Prince Zuko, how about you? Since you're the one with the firsthand information, it'll make Katara even more believable with you there to support her. We can send a couple of earthbenders, too, for protection if that would make you happier, Aang."

Katara jumped out of her seat, her face suffusing with heat. "What? No, you can't send me with him."

Aang looked up at her confusedly. "Katara, he's right, though. Even if you don't like him, it would make your job easier."

"I didn't know I was so offensive," Zuko said dryly, sounding slightly hurt.

"I'm not… we don't… fine," muttered Katara, sliding down in her seat and hoping the earth would open up and swallow her.

Sokka looked at her strangely. "Then as soon as we find some earthbenders, you two can leave. Maybe we can even send you off tomorrow. Are there any good maps of the mountains and towns?" he asked.

The meeting continued, with the Council and Aang helping to make a list of towns for her to visit. Katara sat in silence, steadily avoiding looking at Zuko, her face still red in embarrassment. When she finally peeked at him, he was staring at her, a blush spread across his good cheek as well. She quickly looked away, ignoring him for the rest of the meeting, pretending she was not about to be practically alone with him for a few weeks.

* * *

A/N: Katara admits her marriage is over! Hurray! Now she just has to tell Aang. And Sokka and Suki are here! Double hurray! Brother to the rescue! Also, while Sokka is usually the Plan Guy (TM) I imagine Suki is pretty good at it, too. She'd definitely be a huge asset when planning a war. Oh, and not to fear, we'll get back to lemons soon.

Also, a guest reviewer noticed that I had taken Aang off the character list and thought that meant Aang might be dying/disappearing from the story soon. Although he will probably be more of a background character soon, I actually took him off because I got an angry review (since deleted by me) from a Kataanger than having him as a character was misleading. While I'm not a fan of getting hate just because this is a Zutara story, I did decide to make the concession of taking him off so there wouldn't be any confusion. So, don't worry, reviewer! It doesn't really mean anything.


	10. Chapter 10: Goodbyes

**Chapter 10: Goodbyes**

Katara groaned as a poking finger woke her, accompanied by her brother's voice calling, "Katara, if you don't wake up I'm going to throw cold water on you."

She pulled her pillow over her face and rolled over. "Go away, Sokka. I'm sleeping."

He switched to shaking her. "Come on, get up! I will treat you like you're five again if I have to." With that, he pulled her covers down and started tickling her feet, causing her to screech and throw her pillow at him.

"I'm awake, I'm awake!" she cried, jerking her poor feet away from him. "That was uncalled for. Why are you waking me up so early?"

Sokka crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "It was _not_ uncalled for; you are annoyingly difficult to wake up. And I woke you up because it's time to go shopping."

Katara groaned again and flopped back down. "Why are we going shopping at dawn? Can't you go without me?"

"One, because we're buying things for your trip, and two, because retail therapy will give us a great chance to talk and make you feel better." Sokka was a great believer in the healing power of stuff.

"Fine, but get out while I change."

"Fine, fine." Sokka threw up his hands in surrender and sauntered away, leaving Katara to put on some comfortable clothes and sandals. When she left her bedroom, she spotted him lounging in one of her comfortable chairs.

"Please tell me you at least are giving me tea," she stated. "I am not starting out this day without tea."

"I figured we'd get some in town. You know, experience the local culture."

She rolled her eyes. "The palace is the _epitome_ of local culture, Sokka."

He stood and grasped her shoulders, steering her towards the door. "No no, it's not the same. What we need is a genuine hole-in-the-wall that serves tea that'll remove paint. _That's_ local culture."

"If you say so," Katara complied, feeling this was an argument she couldn't win.

Having found said tea shop with incredibly strong tea, Katara was at least feeling somewhat more awake as they strolled through the just-opening market, vendors setting up their stalls and unrolling canopies. "What exactly are we shopping for?" she asked.

"Oh, you know, the usual. You'll need a tent, a sleeping bag and mat, a knife, trap-setting equipment, maybe a fishing pole…"

"Sokka, I'm a waterbender," she interrupted. "A fishing pole would be a waste of money."

"If you say so. Oh, look, this stall has some nice knives!" He pulled her over to a weapons stall, which had a good assortment of knives that would be useful for a variety of things in the mountains if they needed to camp. He picked one for her and began haggling with the seller, finally settling on what Katara assumed was a good price and handing over the money. "I got you a sheath and belt with it," Sokka stated proudly, holding it up for her to examine.

"Looks fine," she replied disinterestedly.

They continued walking. "So, are you going to talk to Aang before you leave?" Sokka asked abruptly.

Taken aback, Katara thought for a few moments before she answered. "I hadn't really thought about it, but maybe I should. What do you think?"

"It would be good to go into this trip knowing things had been settled, don't you think? One less thing to worry about."

"I guess so. Although even just knowing I've made my decision has helped a lot."

Sokka hesitated for a minute, then asked, "What brought all this on, anyway? Why'd you realize suddenly after years that things weren't working?"

Katara sighed and looked away. "Do we have to talk about this? This is awkward."

He casually slung an arm across her shoulders. "Aw, come on, if you can't talk to me, who can you talk to? I'll be helpful, I promise."

"No, it's just, I don't want to talk about my… private life," here she gestured at her torso vaguely, "with my brother."

"Ah," Sokka nodded sagely, "problems in bed, huh?"

She pushed him away vehemently. "Sokka! I am not talking about this with you!"

"No, I understand. That makes sense. I bet that was what you thought was wrong at first, then you realized there were just a bunch of problems in general. Am I right?"

Blushing furiously, she nodded slowly. "Now that you know, can we please change the subject?"

"Honestly, Katara, living up here has made you such a prude. You should try living surrounded by women on Kyoshi; the sex and period talk never ends. I got used to it a _long_ time ago."

Katara managed to shift his focus back to shopping, thankfully. They chatted about the weight of tent and sleeping bag required for the weather, ending up with a heavier one since the mountains could get quite cold even in spring, and the proposed route for their trip, which would likely have them camping in between towns a lot, as they hoped to visit one a day. Eventually, all the supplied bought and promised to be at the palace by noon, they headed back. Despite the awkwardness of telling her brother Aang hadn't been satisfying her in bed, Katara did feel slightly better about the upcoming trip. As long as she ignored who it was with.

Katara deposited Sokka to the care of Suki, who had, Katara was sure, enjoyed a lovely morning of sleeping in. Sokka assured her he thought they could send her off that afternoon, so Katara made the momentous decision to talk to Aang.

Her steps firm and measured, she slowly paced to the stables, where she was told Aang had headed after breakfast (at a much more reasonable hour than hers). She found him brushing Appa, talking to him and laughing at his antics. Steeling herself, she asked, "Aang, can I talk to you?"

He dropped the brush in a bucket and turned to her. "Sure, Katara. Is everything okay?"

She looked around furtively, noting a few grooms hanging around. "Would you like to take a walk with me?"

"Of course!" He gallantly offered his arm, which she took, then headed outside. They had walked a ways from the stable, now with no one in sight, before Katara continued.

"Sokka thinks I'll be leaving today," she began.

"I wish you weren't leaving. I'm really going to miss you."

She took a deep, calming breath. "I don't really know how to say this, but I know that I need to. Aang, I'm not happy."

"What do you need? If there's something wrong, or you don't want to leave, all you…"

She held up a hand for him to stop and continued. "This is hard for me to say, but what I'm not happy with is our marriage. It's taken me a long time and a lot of thought, but I think that it needs to end." His face drained, a look of shock forming. She rushed to finish, the words tripping over themselves in her haste to say her piece before he recovered. "There have been problems, at least on my end, for a long time, and some of them we've fought about but most of them there's no fix for. As selfish as this sounds, I'm not getting what I need from this and I think it's time I acknowledge that and tell you the truth. I haven't been happy for a long time. I'd like to tell you what's going on for me, if you'll listen."

"Sure," he gasped out, the word sounding strangled.

"I feel like I have had to give up a lot in this marriage, and don't feel that it's reciprocated. While I understand that you are the physical embodiment of your culture, I've had to give up mine completely. When I don't, I feel as though you think I'm inferior."

"Katara, that's not true at all," Aang started, but Katara interrupted him.

"Please, just let me finish. I know this isn't what you've intended, but over the last eight years I've felt my identity slowly dissolve. I have nothing to replace it with; we have no children, which is one of the things that's made me unhappy, we rarely sleep together… I'm lonely and sad more often than not and I feel useless. I just can't spend the rest of my life like this."

"How can you say any of this?" he blurted, tears filling his gray eyes. "Don't you know how much I love you?"

"Aang, that's not what this is about. I know you love me. It's just not enough anymore."

"I just don't understand why you'd expect me to give things up that I can't. I just _can't_ , Katara. I'm the Lama, I have to do things the way they are. Why can't you understand that?"

She wiped a tear from his cheek sadly. "I do understand, Aang. That's the problem. I can't ask you to give things up for me, but I'm not happy and won't be happy unless you do."

"Isn't there anything I can do?" he begged.

She shook her head silently, looking at her shoes. "I'm sorry." Her own eyes began to well up. "I thought maybe if I told you today, my trip would give us both some time to process this."

He grabbed her and pulled her close, kissing her roughly, his lips tasting of salt. Pushing him away vehemently, she began to grow angry. "What are you doing?"

"If you think I'm not paying enough attention to you, then maybe I should start." He tried to kiss her again, but she pulled away.

"I just told you things are over. You can't fix this! You can't force us to be compatible!"

He sank to the grass and began crying in earnest. Her heart breaking into tiny pieces, Katara knelt beside him. "I don't know what to do, Katara. I can't lose you," he sobbed into her arms.

"There's nothing you can do," she responded softly. "I've thought about this a lot and I can't change my mind and be an honorable person. I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"I had no idea, though. How can you be so unhappy and I had no idea?"

She was mute, having no answer to that that would not hurt him worse. Instead, she just held him, letting him sob, tears silently dripping down her face at the thought of all that was ending. Finally, Aang sniffed and wiped his eyes, turning them up to her. "Do you think we could wait to make it official? Until after the Fire Lord is dealt with?"

That did make sense, actually. She realized Aang might want that in case she changed her mind, but it would prevent even more upheaval. "Yeah, I can do that," she replied carefully, "but only to prevent the country from having something else to deal with. It doesn't mean I think I'll change my mind."

He sniffed again. "I know. But I think that will give me time to think about some things."

"Aang, I want you to know that I do love you and care about you a lot," she stated suddenly. "It's not that I don't. Really."

He pulled away from her and shrugged resignedly. "Okay," was his only response. "Is there someone else?" he asked suddenly after a few minutes of silence.

Her face flushing guiltily, Katara forced her emotions down. _No_ , she told herself, _that's not why you're doing this and you know it. Zuko was the catalyst, not the cause._ "What? No, Aang, this isn't about anyone but me and you…" She was interrupted by a gardener running up to them, stopping and bending over double panting.

"Lady Katara…. Your Highness…." he gasped. "Lord Sokka wants you both, now. He says Lady Katara has to leave."

Katara swore inwardly. _Bad timing, Sokka._ She stood and brushed herself off, hoping she didn't look too tearstained. "We'll be there momentarily." The gardener stood, waiting, until it was clear they weren't going to leave until he did, so he wandered off. She looked down at Aang, who was still sitting, his knees pulled to his chest. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner so we could talk about everything before I left. I didn't think we would have so little time."

He looked at her, his eyes not focusing on her face but on some point far behind it. "Goodbye, Katara. I would say I hope you come back to me, but I know you won't. So just go." He tucked his chin in between his knees, staring emptily into the distance.

Feeling thoroughly dismissed and utterly tiny, Katara nearly ran away from him, heading to her room, desperately wishing she could have a good cry. Finding them deserted, much of her clothes and her waterskins missing from her closet, she hailed a servant and asked where her brother was.

"In the courtyard, Your Grace," she replied promptly, bustling off to finish her task.

Katara continued to the courtyard at a more stately pace, wondering if Aang was going to show up. She doubted it; his goodbye had sounded final. When she got there, she saw her brother, Suki, and Zuko, along with a host of other people, surrounding Appa, who Aang had as of yesterday only been too happy to lend her. Sokka nodded at her.

"I knew you were going to be having an important talk, so I had Liu pack your things," he whispered in her ear. "Are you okay?"

She nodded glumly, noting the full bags and tents packed on Appa's saddle. "I don't think Aang is coming." Scanning the crowd, she noticed there was no one else who appeared to be getting ready to leave. "Sokka, where are the earthbenders that are supposed to be going with us?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "There weren't any who were willing to go on a month-long trip that we could find, so I wrote your Monk Tashi to ask the Earth King to send a couple. I'm sure you'll be fine until they join you, the first few days are just in the foothills, really. I'm sure you guys can take care of yourselves."

Katara's breathing quickened as she began to panic. "Katara, what's wrong?" Suki asking, reaching for her hand.

"I don't want to be alone with him," she murmured.

Sokka elbowed her. "Grow up, baby sister. You're diplomats and you have a job to do. Mount up, here's your map." He boosted her onto Appa's head and Zuko, who had been quietly standing apart from the three of them, climbed into his saddle.

Katara searched her mind for some sort of reassuring speech to make to the people who had gathered there, mostly servants with the remaining Council members. She uttered some platitudes about neighbors helping each other and the nobility of serving one another, then with a yip-yip to Appa they were off, his reins clutched between her frozen fingers.

* * *

A/N: Crossing my fingers there's no blaring typos; it's way past my bedtime! My neighbors are being loud *yawn* So the end of this chapter is a little rushed but eh.

Enjoy! Next we get Zutara alone time! Also, to everyone who's recently favorited/followed this story- you guys warm my heart! Seriously, it makes my day when I get an email about it.


	11. Chapter 11: Beginnings

**Chapter 11: Beginnings**

They flew northeast along the river that led into West Lake and formed one side of the peninsula the city was on, Katara guiding Appa to follow the shining road of water. The first town on the map, Langmar, was tucked in the river valley further into the mountains. She flew in silence, focusing only on her goal of reaching Langmar as soon as possible. Everything else about her life was too difficult to think about right now, so she let her mind empty, the river below her the only thing in her thoughts.

After what seemed like a short time, she heard Zuko yelling her name and snapped out of her reverie. "What?" she barked.

"It's getting dark, don't you think we should land soon?"

She belatedly realized the sun was indeed setting. "I'll look for a clearing," she called back, searching the dimming ground beneath her. The land here was relatively treeless, as they were only on the outskirts of the great southern forest, and finding a good spot to camp wasn't difficult. She spotted a likely open area on the east side of the river and landed Appa, clambering to the ground on unsteady legs. Zuko, of course, jumped off and landed gracefully after tossing down their bedrolls and bags.

"If you want to set up your tent I'll start a fire," he offered, earning a silent nod of assent from Katara, who removed her tent from its bag and tried to remember how to set it up. She had at one point been able to do it very quickly, but that had been years ago. It took her a while to figure out how it went together, especially since the one Sokka had picked out was slightly different from the Water Tribe ones they had used when they'd been first traveling with Aang.

Eventually, she had it set up satisfactorily, a tarp tidily placed overtop and her bedroll spread inside, turning to see that Zuko had apparently collected wood and made a decently sized fire. Something was bubbling in a pot over said fire, something that smelled good enough to make Katara realize she hadn't eaten since very early this morning. "What's that?" she asked him, remarking internally that a firebender was very useful when camping.

"Stew," he replied flatly. "I bought fresh meat and vegetables to last until we get to the first town."

"Oh." She sat down on the opposite side of the fire, watching Appa eat the grass that grew on the riverbank. "That was a good idea." Tapping her hand against her leg, she looked around the clearing. "No tent for you?" She had surmised from their quiet flight earlier that Zuko was comfortable with silence, but now that they weren't in the air the awkwardness was palpable.

He looked at her in confusion. "Why would I need one, it's clear and pretty warm. I didn't bring one on my way up here."

Katara rolled her eyes. _Men._ Sokka had always been like that too.

"Stew's ready," he said quietly. He spooned some into a bowl and handed it to her. Katara was… not exactly surprised, but pleased that it was actually quite tasty. She hadn't had a meat and vegetable stew since she'd visited Kyoshi last and enjoyed the greasy saltiness of the meat.

Zuko showed all signs of being prepared to eat in silence. Katara, however, couldn't take it after wolfing down her stew in a couple of minutes. She knew he was trying to be polite, but this trip wouldn't work if they didn't talk at all. She could fix this.

"I told Aang it was over," she blurted, then covered her mouth. That probably wasn't the best way to start talking again.

His unscarred eye widened as he met her gaze across the fire. "You did?"

Katara picked at her nails nervously. "Yeah, I…. well, your letter made me think and I talked to Sokka about it and so I told him before we left."

"Did he… what did he say? I mean, if you want to talk about it."

"He wasn't happy." She shrugged. "I'm not sure he accepted it. Maybe he will by the time I'm back, I don't know."

Zuko sighed and moved to sit next to her, their thighs barely touching. "I know things are… kind of weird between us now, but I'd like to be your friend. I'm here if you need me."

She leaned into his shoulder and his arm went around her, his touch helping to fill the empty space inside of her. "Thanks," she replied simply, feeling the awkwardness between them recede. "I'd like that." They sat that way for a while, watching the twilight fade and stars come out. The air grew colder and Katara shivered, drawing closer to Zuko's warmth. "I really loved him, you know," she said eventually, "even if he wasn't that good of a husband."

"I know." She could feel his voice rumbling in his chest. It was nice.

"Do you think I did the right thing?" Before he could answer, she continued. "No, don't answer that, I already know you do. Your letter helped, by the way."

"Good," he murmured sleepily, leaning back onto his hands.

"Although one day you're going to have to explain all the stuff you…" she yawned widely, "alluded to about your life." He gave no response other than a yawn of his own, the fire now only embers.

* * *

Katara woke up the next morning as the sun rose, turning to bury her face in her very warm and surprisingly firm pillow. Startled, she sat up and yelped. "Sorry! I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."

Zuko propped himself up on his elbows and blinked at her sleepily. "It's fine."

Standing, she made an attempt to straighten her now rumpled tunic. "No, it won't happen again, I promise."

Zuko looked about to say something, but kept silent.

"I'll make some porridge, how about that?" The ease of last night was gone, so Katara chattered to fill the silence as she rinsed out last night's pot, filling it with rice and water only to realize the fire had gone out. "Oh, I guess there's no way to cook this."

Zuko took the pot from her hands and dumped it onto the ground. "It's okay, we can get food at the town, uh..."

"Langmar," she supplied as he began packing up his things.

"How far is it?"

"It shouldn't be too far, I don't think. Maybe another hour or two." She started dismantling her tent, which had been completely useless last night. _You and Aang just ended things_ , she told herself severely, _don't get too close to him again._

"What's it like?"

"It's one of the larger towns we'll go to, probably. It's right on the river so it's convenient for trade, and exports lumber and gold that's mined farther up in the mountains. I can't remember the mayor's name, but I know it's on my list."

Zuko tossed his bedroll and bag onto Appa's saddle. "You know a lot about this place."

She shrugged, then tossed her things up after his. "It is… was kind of my job. Don't you know about all the Fire Nation islands?"

"Good point."

In a relatively short amount of time, they landed outside of Langmar. Katara instructed Appa to wait for them on the outskirts, and they hiked into the main part of the town, finding a square in front of a large house at the center. The town was decently sized, with paved roads separating what appeared to be different districts. The square was in the district with the largest houses, separated by the river from the area where most of the trade took place. The bridge joining the sides of the town was beautiful, a graceful arch of stone carved with various views of the mountains to the north intermixed with Air and Earth symbols.

"This is bigger than I expected," Zuko commented as they entered the square. "I thought it would be a tiny village."

"Oh, I'm sure we'll see plenty of those. Like I said, though, Langmar gets a lot of trade, even up from Ba Sing Se. It's a pretty easy trip by ship, and this is really as far up the river as the bigger ships can go. Most of our mineral export from the mountains goes out through here."

"Mmm," responded Zuko noncommittally. "And you think this is a good place to stash refugees?"

"It's not religious, really, it's more of a trade town. Do you really think Ozai would destroy it?"

A few people walking by looked at her intensely and she made a mental note to keep her voice down.

"Probably not, if you put it that way. At least I hope he's not that crazy. I don't know anymore."

"Ah, we're here." Katara stopped at the foot of the largest house's steps and consulted her list. "The mayor's name is Yonten, and according to my list he's half Air Noble and his mother was from the Earth Kingdom. He's supposedly not particularly religious, so we'll see how receptive he is. You know, I think I remember him from a few years ago. He wasn't particularly pleasant." She strode up the stairs and knocked firmly on the door, wishing she'd changed into something more queenly.

A pale-faced woman answered the door. Katara guessed she was a servant; from what she remembered of Yonten, he would be someone who kept servants to remind people of his status. "Can I help you?" the woman asked timidly.

"We're here to see Mayor Yonten," she said boldly, "with a message from the Lama and High Council."

The woman bobbed a hasty curtsy and closed the door.

"Maybe she went to get Yonten?" Zuko suggested.

Katara sighed. "Let's hope."

She returned a few moments later, opening the door and bobbing her head again. "You can come in." They followed her to a comfortable living room, the couches decked with furs, giving it an appearance of luxury. Yonten, a balding man with a full beard, waited for them there, holding a cup of tea.

"A message from the Lama and Council, you say?" he began, then stopped when he noticed Katara and bowed deeply. "Your Grace. It's been too long."

Katara bowed her head graciously. "You're too kind, Mayor Yonten."

"Please, sit, sit." He gestured at the plush couches, and Zuko and Katara sank into one. "What brings you all the way to Langmar, Your Grace? And who is your… intriguing companion?"

"Yonten, I'm afraid I'm not here for a social call, unfortunately. This is Prince Zuko, from the Fire Nation. He's brought quite dire news, which I'd like to let him explain." She turned to Zuko, who took the hint and began retelling the story of why he had left and his father's new ambition. Yonten's round face grew increasingly grave.

"And this is what, a warning visit? Are there any plans to protect us?" he asked urgently.

 _Just breathe and ask him, Katara._ Now came the hard part. "Although we of course wanted to warn you, that's not really why we're here. While the Lama and Council are working on plans to defend the City, we believe Ozai's only plans right now are to attack the City itself, so we're asking the more secure towns to take in the citizens of the City, to give them a place to live until this is over one way or the other."

He was shaking his head before she had finished. "Take in more mouths to feed with no plans to get help to defend my town? That doesn't sound like a good situation for me. What would we been gaining from this?"

Spoken like a true merchant. "Well, we wouldn't expect you to feed them on your own resources. We will supply you with enough grain to feed as many people as you decide to take in. Also, your status as a trade town that exports gold will protect you. The Fire Lord has no interest in destroying the infrastructure; he only wants to eliminate the religion." That was a little bit of a lie, but only a tiny one. It couldn't hurt.

Yonten was quiet, considering. His fingers stroked his full beard. "And how many people would you be expecting us to take in? We may not be able to find housing, even with the additional food."

"No more than ten percent of your total population. I know that's a lot and we don't expect you to have housing for all of them. Since we expect it to only be for a short time, we will request that the people use some of their assets to buy tents, and help them if they cannot afford them," she replied smoothly. "Additionally, some of them may be earthbenders who can easily construct their own shelter or help others to do the same."

Yonten nodded. "That's quite fair, actually. However, taking in so many people at once would strain our resources to the utmost. I don't think we could do it unless you gave us extra food, say, three times the amount required to feed that many people?"

Did they even have the storage for that much grain? she wondered. "We could increase the amount of food, but not that much, as yours won't be the only town with refugees. What would you say to one and a half times the amount?"

Yonten shook his head. "Double the amount would be the bare minimum to keep Langmar going through the rough times. A war is sure to decrease trade."

She sighed. "Double the amount is probably reasonable. I think we can do that."

"Shall we shake on it, then?" They shook hands politely, Yonten's hand sweaty in hers. "Should I show you and the Prince to an inn?"

Katara looked back at Zuko briefly, who shook his head with a slight motion. "We had probably best be moving to the next town before the end of the day, but I wouldn't say no to a good lunch." She flashed a smile at Yonten, who chuckled.

"Of course! Nothing but the best for the Lama's wife and the Prince of the Fire Nation. There's a great place just across the square; I have things to see to so I won't be joining you, but I will send my servant with you to tell them to put it on my tab."

She inclined her head again. "You are too gracious, Mayor Yonten. We greatly appreciate the help you're giving us; you will be helping to save many lives."

Yonten escorted them to the front door, telling the timid woman who had let them in to walk with them. She scurried across the square to a squat brick building anointed with golden phoenixes, leaving Katara and Zuko to hurry after her.

* * *

A/N: I have been doing what is probably an absurd and unnecessary amount of research into what the climate and resources of this part of the Avatar world probably are, not to mention appropriate names. From where this is on the Avatar map, I actually think the climate would be quite like Alaska, as Alaska is also subarctic and mountainous. The size and arrangement of the mountains seems to indicate there's probably a convergent plate boundary there, making it basically like a high latitude Himalayas, which makes sense as the Air Nomad culture (and the names I've picked) are more or less Tibetan. Places where there's a convergent plate boundary tend to be really rich in minerals like gold and zinc, hence the gold mining.

I might be a geography dork. Well, more like a science dork in general. It's kind of my job, so I totally have an excuse. :D

I would find a tectonic plate map of the Avatar world endlessly fascinating. I've been looking at the map a lot and based on the geography/location of volcanoes, it would probably be _super complicated_. Another fun fact, based on the desert locations it would appear that the predominant wind direction in the Earth Kingdom is from the east. Which actually doesn't really make sense for it to be the same in the Northern and Southern Hemispheres, but WHATEVER. Clearly Bryke weren't thinking about it from a geological/climatology perspective. *cough cough*

Okay I'm done. No more geographical ranting that I'm probably the only one nerdy enough to care about. But MAPS, you guys!


	12. Chapter 12: Side by Side

**Chapter 12: Side by Side**

The inside of the restaurant was dark and cool, booths with high walls separating them all along the walls. It smelled of noodles and spices, making Katara's stomach grumble. The woman told a waiter to put their lunch on Yonten's tab and they were directed to one of the spacious booths, the benches padded in dark green velvet. "This place looks nice," Katara commented. "It certainly smells good." Her stomach gave another rumble.

Zuko grunted and sat down as a waiter hurried over with a pot of tea and two cups.

"What would you like to eat, my lord and lady?" he asked politely. "Our specials today are vegetable dumplings and buffalo yak thenthuk with peppers and mushrooms."

"I'll have the noodles, please," Katara requested, "along with an order of the dumplings for both of us. Zuko?"

He shrugged. "Do you have anything spicy?"

"We have a truly exquisite camel yak curry."

"I'll have that, then."

The waiter departed with a bow, leaving the two of them alone. "You did a good job in there," Zuko said nonchalantly. "You were very diplomatic."

Arching an eyebrow at him, she asked, "You're surprised I can be diplomatic?"

"No, I'm not surprised. I just can see why you make a good queen, is all."

She laughed bitterly at that. "Made, you mean. I gave that all up."

He reached across the table and placed a hand over hers. "You have a lot to do before you're not the queen anymore. If nothing else, you have to make sure every greedy town leader doesn't take all of your food."

"I don't really think that'll be a problem. Yonten will most likely be the most business-oriented of all the people we'll meet with. The smaller towns will probably be more generous."

"Well, you lead a very giving people, then. The towns in the Fire Nation probably wouldn't do this at all unless it really benefitted them."

Katara smiled at that. "You know how our religion is. Serve others, self-sacrifice, material possessions aren't important… all that helps."

The waiter interrupted their conversation with a steaming plate of dumplings, along with a bottle of sake and cups. "We thought you might want this," he offered hesitantly. Zuko waved him away with a thanks and poured each of them a cup.

"To your first success," he said as he held up his cup. Katara gently clinked hers against his and they both drank.

"Hey, this is a little like when we first met," she said brightly, then immediately regretted it as his eyes flashed down her body.

"Yeah, almost," he replied, pouring himself another and drinking it down. "Even more, now."

"Yeah," she sighed, popping a dumpling in her mouth to avoid speaking to him. She was acutely aware of his foot briefly touching hers under the table, suddenly feeling his nearness even across a table. The bench suddenly felt close, the air stale. She swallowed and looked into her cup, feeling vaguely guilty and fighting off the feelings of attraction that had come over her suddenly. It wasn't the time to act on those feelings, not yet. While it was tempting to seek comfort from her separation with Aang in the arms of another, it would probably also ruin the honor she had regained by telling Aang she was leaving him in the first place. So comfort sex wasn't an option. Not to mention she would be spending a lot of time with him in the next few weeks; getting involved again had a lot of potential to go wrong.

She was fortunately distracted by the arrival of their lunch, which was actually quite excellent, in her opinion. While she knew many in the mountains raised and ate buffalo yak, it wasn't something served in the religious center of the City. Buffalo yak didn't much care for the flat, warmer peninsula anyway, so this was the first time she'd had it since she had last visited the Northern Water Tribe, and she was finding it delicious. The noodles were good, as well, with several different kinds of fresh vegetables.

They ate in a leisurely silence, both of them hungry enough to focus only on the food. After they finished, they left the restaurant, heading back to Appa on the outskirts of the town. Zuko stopped and bought rice to replace what had been wasted that morning, and Katara couldn't resist buying a small basket of mountain berries that smelled glorious, snacking on them as they walked despite her filling lunch. They chatted occasionally, Katara telling Zuko more about the town when he asked, but mostly they were quiet. Eventually, they reached the outskirts, heading into the woods where they had left Appa.

"I hope he hasn't moved," remarked Zuko.

"He won't," Katara stated confidently. "He's very loyal."

As she finished her statement, she felt an arrow whizzing by her, the edge catching a bit of her hair. She whirled around to see five bandits with bows, strips of cloth tied around their noses and mouth and eyes darkened with some kind of soot. Uncapping her water skin and raising her hands, she glanced nervously at Zuko, who had subtly shifted into a fighting stance. "What do you want?" she asked calmly.

"We saw you coming out of the mayor's house," one of them answered. "That means you're rich. So give us your money or we'll shoot you."

"Gentlemen, we can work this out. We don't really carry money on us, honestly. We're representatives of the Lama. We don't have anything to give you, but if you hurt us, the Lama will be very unhappy."

The man, who must have been the leader, snorted. "You aren't Air Nobles. I'm not stupid. You look like merchants to us, so hand it over already!"

Zuko, who had slowly sidled over to her, whispered in her ear. "I thought there weren't any bandits in these parts."

"Yeah, well, I was wrong," she hissed. One of the men loosed another arrow, nearly hitting Zuko this time.

"No whispering!" hollered the leader.

Katara looked at Zuko out of the corner of her eye. He nodded slightly at her and gestured with his chin to the men. Taking that as a signal to be prepared to fight, she ducked to the side and bent her water out of her waterskin as Zuko directed a stream of fire at them.

"Are you still sure you want to rob us?" asked Zuko smugly. "As you can see, we're both benders."

The leader made a series of hand gestures at his men and they began backing off. Still wary, they both kept their hands up and ready, Katara holding the water in a translucent sphere in front of her.

"That's what I thought," smirked Zuko.

However, the bowmen weren't retreating. Instead, they were getting behind trees and spreading out. Clearly the leader knew what he was doing, thought Katara, and this wasn't going to be as easy as she had thought it would. A sharp whistle came from the leader, and all five loosed their bows, arrows flying at them almost too quickly for Katara to form an ice wall in front of them, deflecting or breaking the arrows. "You had to taunt them," she muttered under her breath.

Zuko shrugged. "They would have attacked us anyway. You take the left, I'll get the right?"

Katara sighed. "Fine, if I have to. I'm not killing anyone though."

Zuko nodded grimly, turning to the right and edging out from behind her wall, hoping to draw out a bowman for an attack, she guessed. Seeing what he was doing, she melted the wall and reformed her sphere, waiting to catch a glimpse of one of the men. A man's masked face popped out quite close to her and she sent a water whip towards it, hitting the man square in the face with a howl of pain and collapsing, most of his body now visible. Katara quickly used her water to freeze him to the tree he'd been hiding behind, then glared balefully at her now empty hands.

She looked around quickly, backing up to Zuko and hoping he could stop any arrows for the moment while she figured out where to get water from. Seeing no convenient stream, she sighed and reluctantly pulled water from the leaves above them. She hated killing plants like that, but there wasn't much choice right now. The man she had frozen to a tree was yelling for someone to come help him, that that crazy bitch had frozen him.

Someone smaller darted out from another hiding spot towards the incapacitated man, dropping their bow. Maybe they weren't as smart as she'd feared, Katara thought wryly, freezing the smaller one to the same tree. Her back still to Zuko, she could hear him bending at something. She only hoped he wasn't catching the forest on fire; that would be a disaster. Suddenly, a wall of heat blazed up and she turned to see what he was doing, reasoning no one would be coming on her side right now. She realized Zuko had imitated her ice wall, using fire to burn an incoming arrow, and watched as he directed the fire with a punch, catching the leader's bow on fire. The man hastily dropped it, screeching at his now burnt hand. She realized he must have done the same to the remaining two bandits, as they crept out of the woods to stand behind their leader, also nursing scorched hands.

"Fine, you win this one," the leader spat, turning to stomp off, his dejected men following him, leaving the two who were frozen to the tree still shouting for someone to free them.

Katara jogged over to the frozen bandits, realizing the smaller one was a woman. "If you promise to leave," she said sternly, "I'll let you go."

The two bandits hollered their assurances that they would leave them alone just please let them down, please, the ice was so cold. Crossing her arms until she was satisfied they meant it, she stretched out her hands and melted the ice, bending it into her waterskin until it was full, then letting the rest of the water drop. The bandits bowed deeply, hastily thanking her for her mercy, then took off back towards the town.

She began laughing until she ran out of breath, collapsing onto the forest floor in a fit of giggles. Feeling something poking her, she opened her eyes, still wheezing with laughter, to see a concerned Zuko hovering over her. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"They were terrified of me!" she gasped. "I've never had anyone be so scared of me in my entire life!" Her giggles became full-blown laughter again. "I thought they were going to piss themselves." She gradually caught her breath, her stomach sore, lying flat in the leaves and feeling empty. "I haven't been in a fight in ages," she added soberly.

Zuko held out a hand and helped her up. "Well, you did pretty well then for not having been in one in ages. Although I'm concerned you might be a little in shock," he said, looking her up and down worriedly.

Brushing him aside, she started back towards the path. "I'm fine. It was just unexpected. And I'm not used to people thinking I'm scary."

"Okay," he replied uncertainly, trailing behind her.

"By the way, I saw you copy my ice wall," she called back. "Very original."

He jogged to catch up with her. "It was a good idea. Although I don't think mine would have worked as well if they had better bows. It's a decent defensive move, though."

She sniffed, picking up the pace. "I'll have you know it's saved my life from projectiles before."

"I meant decent for firebending," he muttered. "I wouldn't doubt your bending skill." Katara noticed him glance back up at the desiccated leaves behind them. "I've never seen anyone pull water out of the leaves like that."

Mollified, she slowed again. "Yeah, well, once you've been stuck in places without water, you figure out how to get it pretty quickly." She started telling him the story of how she, Aang, and Sokka had gotten lost in the Si Wong Desert one time when Appa had been stolen by sandbenders. She had figured out she could bend water out of the cacti, but not before Sokka had tried to drink the cactus juice straight and had hallucinated for nearly a full day. Eventually, his hallucinations had cleared and they'd been able to get Appa back from the sandbenders.

"That was one of the only times I've seen Aang lose his temper," she finished quietly. "It was terrifying." She remembered how his voice had boomed, wind whirling around the group faster and faster until it felt like all of them, sandbenders included, were inside a tornado, and shuddered slightly, rubbing her arms. "Fortunately for everyone at the palace, he didn't lose it when I left," she added wryly, her mouth twisting bitterly. "Of course, had he cared about me that much maybe I'd still be there."

 _Speak of the devil_ , she thought as they came upon Appa, asleep in a patch of sun. She wasn't jealous of an animal, obviously. It just stung a little, was all. She felt Zuko's hand rest on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he told her quietly.

She shrugged. "No, I'm sorry for bringing the mood down. That wasn't supposed to be a sad story." Appa stood and stretched at their approach, groaning. "You still owe me stories, you know," she accused, glaring down at him as she climbed up Appa.

"How long of a trip is it to the next town?" He sighed and sat behind her in the saddle.

Katara consulted the map. "Not far, actually. We should be able to make it there before dark."

Zuko stretched out, his hands behind his head as Appa took off. "Then I guess I have time to tell you about the time my uncle ran a tea shop in Ba Sing Se and I was a waiter. There was this one guy who stalked me all over the city for some reason, and one time he came in the shop as I was serving tea to this nice girl…"

The ground swiftly vanishing beneath them, Katara relaxed as she listened, laughing at the ridiculous story of the time Zuko had to fend off a stalker with nothing but a teapot.

* * *

A/N: Overcame some writer's block! I can't believe how much I've written for this, though. I've never written anything this long, I don't think. Not even computer code. :P

Question for you guys- should I include Toph in this story? I could fairly easily, but I'm not sure if it's necessary or if would just be shoehorning in all the characters. I love Toph, but I can't decide if she really fits.


	13. Chapter 13: What the Water Gave Us

**Chapter 13: What the Water Gave Us**

As Katara had predicted, they reached Ombu in the late afternoon. Ombu was much smaller than Langmar, a mere hamlet of a couple hundred people. Unfortunately for Katara, it became clear after asking around that it was too small to have its own inn, tucked away in a side valley of the great river they had been following. She sighed in annoyance, wishing she had been able to find a comfortable bed to sleep in, but even the village leader's house was too small to accommodate both of them, and she turned them away, saying business could wait until the morning. So camping it was. Again.

The village was only a short distance from a merry mountain stream, currently fat with snowmelt from the nearby peaks. A villager was at least kind enough to show them the designated camping spot for visitors, which had the luxury of a stack of cured firewood and a firepit. As Zuko started a fire, Katara muttered about going to get water and stalked off upstream, slapping at bugs irritatedly. She didn't want to sleep in the cold and she was annoyed the village leader had turned them away so rudely. Weren't villagers supposed to be kind and giving? At least she could wash the day's irritants away in the clean water of the stream.

Setting the pot on the bank and removing her tunic, pants, and boots, she waded out into the stream, shivering a little as the cold water reached her waist. Sinking into it slowly with a sigh, she also removed her undergarments, then found a convenient rock to scrub them against. The water streaming past her thighs was relaxing, wearing away at the irritation that had built since she landed and the stress of being attacked. Scrubbing was also a good way to take out her frustration, working out the sweat she had built up while fighting earlier.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps behind her on the bank. Without thinking or looking, she quickly swept a large wall of water over the person, hearing them hit the bank with a thud, then, turning around, she pulled them into the center of the stream, making the person splutter and cough. She waited, arms raised, for them to catch their breath, only to realize as they sat up that she had just inadvertently almost drowned Zuko.

The water splashing around her legs, she hurried over to him and helped him up, apologizing profusely. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking, I thought it might be more bandits so I just reacted."

He coughed a few more times, started to say something to her, then stared at her. "You're naked," he said finally.

Heat rose to her face as she realized she had completely forgotten she didn't have any clothes on. Crossing her arms to hide her breasts, she replied indignantly, "How else do you expect me to take a bath?"

She noticed he couldn't keep himself from staring at her body. "I thought you were getting water," he answered distantly. "It was taking a long time so I came to check on you."

Katara was half tempted to sink down into the water and disappear. "Right, I forgot I said that," she murmured. "Um, you should turn around and I'll get dressed."

He frowned at her. "It's not like I haven't seen you without clothes on."

She swallowed, feeling the heat of his eyes on her. His tunic had fallen open, she noticed somewhere in the back of her mind, revealing pale skin. Heat continued to rise in her, but it was a different kind of heat, more pleasant. She defiantly let her arms drop and tossed her wet hair over her shoulder, baring her chest to him. "True." The current carried her ever so slightly forward until they were almost touching. They stood there like that for a while, Katara staring at him with a defiance that hid her underlying uncertainty. She had no idea what she wanted him to do; the parts of her were conflicted on what was the _right_ thing to do, if she should be letting him see her like this, if she should lean over and kiss him…

The thoughts buzzing through her head were silenced when Zuko brought her to him, his lips meeting hers, drowned in a rush of wanting. His hands entwined in her loose hair, he pulled away briefly, as if questioning his actions, but Katara pulled him back to her in a rush, feeling him grow hard against her naked hip. She slid her hands under his half-open tunic, gliding her hands over his nipples and chest muscles, running them down to his abs and working at the wet knot of his belt as their tongues moved in an intricate dance. Her fingers groping blindly, it took her some time to get it undone, but when she did she was able to open his tunic all the way, tossing the sash onto a nearby rock.

His mouth moved to her neck, one hand caressing her breast gently. She moaned at the feeling of his warm mouth where her neck met her shoulder, gently nipping her. Her hands slid down to the waistband of his pants, working to push them down, his cock springing free just above the surface of the running water. He lifted his head and whispered in her ear, his voice sending delightful shivers down her spine. "Are you sure you want this?"

She nodded, too caught up in the thrill, the cold of the water surrounding her, to speak.

"Then let's do this," he said grimly. Katara looked at his face, startled that he would respond as though she were a chore, when she saw a grin lurking in the corners of his mouth as he met her eyes. Leaning down, he cupped her face and kissed her gently, then placed his hands underneath her buttocks and picked her up, splashing towards the rock she had carelessly tossed his sash on earlier. She wrapped her legs around his waist, his cock brushing her entrance, as her back fetched up against the edge of the rock.

He entered her then, the thrusting rubbing her back against the smooth-worn stone. She clung to him with legs and arms, toes brushing the water. Their coupling was rough and swift, driven by a need Katara hadn't realized either of them felt in the long days since she had turned him away. At the end, they were both panting with effort, Zuko's arms trembling as he came inside her. He pulled out of her slowly, allowing Katara to lower her legs back into the water and stand.

Wincing, she craned her head around to look at her back, now covered with numerous small scrapes. "Are you alright?" Zuko asked uncertainly. "Did you…?"

Katara gloved her hand in water. "Yes and no. It's fine though, you can make it up to me later. After I heal these stupid scrapes," she muttered, having a hard time reaching them.

He pulled up his trousers and tried to pull his sodden tunic closed. "Does that mean there will be a later?"

She healed the scrape that stung the most and splashed him, eyeing him appraisingly. "I think so. Maybe."

"Maybe?" he teased, splashing her back.

Katara sighed. "We should probably talk about that."

He stilled. "Oh. You're serious. Then let's talk about it." He snagged his belt from behind her then splashed resolutely to shore. Katara sighed again and moved to collect her undergarments, drying them with a swift motion as she clambered out of the stream. She gathered the rest of her clothing and the forgotten pot and followed Zuko's broad back to their camp, shivering in the chilly air.

The fire he had built was still burning. Katara huddled close to it as she pulled her clothes back one, trying to stave off the chill that had come over her upon getting out of the water. Once she was dressed the shivering slowly began to die away, although the sin was almost set and it promised to be a cold night. Zuko sat near her and handed her the remnants of the berries she'd bought earlier. "So let's talk."

She ate a berry, then futilely tried to comb her thick hair with her fingers. "I don't know what to say."

"Look, I just can't deal with not knowing where we stand," he began. "Do you want to continue… whatever it is we have or not?"

Pulling her hair apart into three roughly equal clumps, she started to braid it. "I enjoy your company," she stated, "and of course I enjoy… being with you, but how can I make a decision when I know so little about you? Not to mention I don't even know if I'm ready for, for anything, really. Despite it being my decision, it's only been a few days since the marriage that has defined my life ended and," she spread her hands, "I don't know what I want apart from that yet, except that when we're sleeping together I want you."

He nodded. "I understand that. There is something I can fix, though." He placed a hand over his heart. "I swear to let you get to know me better."

She laughed at little at the gesture. "Does that mean you want things to continue?" she asked shyly.

Zuko shrugged in response, but gave no answer.

"You just said you would let me get to know you better," she chided him.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed. "Fine. Maybe, I think so? I have fun with you. I'm not used to being open with people."

"I guess that's a place to start. You know, if you don't like being open, you're having fun with the wrong person. My friends always tell me their secrets, in the end."

"I'll try, really. It's just that most of my stories aren't exactly pleasant. It's easier not to talk about them."

She reached out a hand and laid it on his scarred cheek, her thumb caressing the skin under his eye. "Like this?" she asked softly.

He winced a little. "Like that."

She continued to stroke the old scar, marveling at the puckered, hairless texture. "You can tell me about it when you're ready. I'll listen."

Eyes closed, he placed his hand over hers, stilling her stroking. "It was a long time ago. If you're curious, I can tell you how it happened." He opened his eyes and looked at her.

She tried to still her excitement so he wouldn't see it, placing her hands primly in her lap. Yes, of course she was curious! She had been from the moment she'd met him. "If you want to," she said calmly.

"Not really, but I'm trying to keep my promise," he replied dryly. Closing his eyes again, he seemed briefly lost in memories. "When I was thirteen, my father let me attend a war council for the first time."

 _Thirteen!_ Katara thought, outraged. _This happened when he was thirteen?!_ But she remained silent.

He continued, voice quiet and hard. "The meeting was about the Whale Tail Island Offensive and one general suggested using recruits to draw out the Earth Kingdom's forces, then let veterans take out the enemy. I pointed out that it meant the slaughter of the recruits, and that it was a betrayal of their loyalty. My uncle, who had allowed me to come, warned me not to speak but I couldn't hold my tongue." He shrugged. "I'm not very good at holding my tongue. The general was upset and my father was angry, telling me that I had acted in disrespect, and the issue could only be solved with an Agni Kai."

Katara interrupted him. "What's that?"

He leaned back on his hands. "A firebending duel. It's an ancient way to solve disputes."

"Oh." _How barbaric_ , she thought. At least in the Water Tribe it was just fistfights. Nobody ever ended up seriously hurt from those.

"Anyway, I showed up, expecting to duel the general, but my father was there, saying that it was really him I'd disrespected. I…" He took a deep breath, clearly fighting old emotions. "I begged him for mercy, but he said he was going to teach me a lesson. So he burned me."

Shocked, Katara could do nothing but stare at him for a moment. That was so much more horrible than she had imagined! "Your… your father did that to you?" she stuttered. "What a… Why didn't your mother do anything?"

He stared into the fire. "She… left us when I was ten," he answered, barely audible.

Katara drew in a sharp breath. "Oh." _Nice going, Katara._ She sidled close to him and laid a hand on his leg. "That's something we have in common."

He was surprised. "You, too?"

"Yes, she was killed by a polar bear dog." She shuddered. "I don't like remembering it." Her hand reached unconsciously for her necklace, grabbing its familiar smoothness. "I'm sorry I made you tell me about your scar."

His knuckles popped loudly as he stretched. "I'm two years short of thirty; it's time I was able to talk about it. Besides, it's what made me leave the Fire Nation with my uncle. I realized a long time ago that if it wasn't for my scar, I would be a different person. I'd probably be planning this war with my father, not helping people escape him."

She squeezed his knee lightly. "Then I guess I'm glad it happened, even though it's an awful thing to happen to a child."

The corner of his mouth lifted slightly. "Am I less intriguingly mysterious now?"

Katara rolled her eyes. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I feel like I know you better already."

The smile grew a little broader. "That was the point." She laughed a little, feeling like maybe there was potential here, at least of a good friendship. Maybe a friends with benefits situation? It had promise. "So are you feeling less guilty about sleeping with me now?"

"Well… I don't know about guilty, but I continue to be interested in getting to know you."

"So you still feel guilty then?"

Her unruly braid in her hand, she twisted it anxiously. "I still can't really get past feeling like I'm cheating on Aang. It's hard, even though I know I'm not now," she admitted.

"One of us has a hard time being open, and the other has a hard time not feeling guilty?" Zuko suggested.

"We both have issues, is what you're saying."

"Who doesn't, though?"

Katara narrowed her eyes at him. "You seem to really be pushing this to continue. You must really like me," she added in half-seriousness.

He looked uncomfortable. "I mean… I just don't like giving up on things. On anything."

Her arms folded, she replied, "Sure. And you like having sex."

He ruefully agreed. "And I like having sex."

Straddling him, she bit his earlobe. "Then what do you say you make earlier up to me?"

He rolled her over so that she was lying in the grass with Zuko above her. "Gladly."

* * *

A/N: Hey, look! Lemons and fluff! In one chapter! After... oh, geez, what, seven without any? Sorry I made you wait so long. :P

Also, I have a feeling some people are going to be disbelieving that Zuko would tell his scar story so easily. But the thing is, in my story it's been fifteen years. While still traumatic, he's had a long time to come to terms with it and realize that good things have come from it, so I can see him pretty readily telling that story to someone like Katara that he genuinely wants to get closer to. Even so, it's not something he's just going to offer up willy-nilly, and Katara realizes that. So, yeah. I think it makes sense.


	14. Chapter 14: Sturm und Drang

**Chapter 14: Sturm und Drang**

The sky flickered, a fact noted by the back of her mind as Zuko slid a hand up her leg, gliding underneath her tunic. His hand reach the waistband of her pants as thunder rumbled loudly and Katara sighed in annoyance. "We should put my tent up."

Zuko removed his hand and rocked back onto his heels, glancing up at the dark sky. "Yeah."

The rain began to fall before they had finished, Katara ensuring the tent would be secure in the gusty wind. By the time they were able to tie down the flapping rain tarp, the night cracked and flashed with thunder and lightning, a cold rain soaking them. Hoping Appa would be okay, she dashed into the tent, pulling Zuko in after her and bending them dry.

"Well, that was disappointing," remarked Zuko dryly. The tent was barely big enough for the two of them, made as it was to be just roomy enough for a single person. He tentatively placed a hand on her thigh. "We can pick back up where we were before the storm, if you want."

Katara flopped backwards onto her bedroll. "Honestly, now I kind of just want to go to sleep." She yawned. "It's been a long day." Although it would be hard to fall asleep with the sound of thunder and rain. "And I'm sure tomorrow won't be much better."

Zuko's face fell ever so slightly. "Okay." Lying down on his own bedroll, shoved in next to Katara's, he turned to face the outer wall of the tent. Katara grabbed his shoulder and rolled him over, fulling intending to make use of his warm presence. She spotted a small smile on his face as he turned to face her, wrapping an arm loosely around her waist, his face resting against the back of her neck.

"Better," Katara sighed, closing her eyes and waiting for sleep to claim her, the sounds of thunder giving way to the soothing sounds of rain.

* * *

 _The growling was the loudest thing she'd ever heard. She stared, terrified, at her mother's calm face. "Go find your dad, sweetie," she said, her voice as unruffled as a smooth sea, slowly falling into a non-threatening crouch. Katara was frozen, her eyes stuck on the huge white mass in front of her mother, its black eyes gleaming. "I have his attention. You need to find your dad, Katara." The second entreaty broke her free, and she scrambled away. Once she realized it wasn't going to chase her, she ran to the edge of the village, finding her father and his warriors fighting off a second beast._

" _Dad!" she screamed. "Mom's in trouble!" He turned and ran with her, spear in his hand. It was too late when they go there, her mother lying in a spreading pool of blood, the red stark against the white snow. She looked up at her father, his face filling her vision, and watched in fascination as a lone tear trickled down his cheek, his face carved out of stone._

Katara bolted upright, panting heavily. The dream was familiar, but she hadn't had it in years. Why now…? Zuko stirred slightly beside her. "My dad!" she cried involuntarily.

Zuko stirred again, a sleepy "What?" emerging from his mouth.

"I forgot to write my dad! How could I forget that?"

He slung an arm around her waist and pulled her back down, mumbling "Can't it wait until the morning?"

Katara let herself be pulled down, but sleep eluded her. For one, she always had a hard time going back to sleep after reliving her mother's death. They never figured out why the polar bear dog had just killed her and left, but the image would haunt her for the rest of her life. She also silently composed the letter to her father, unsure what to say to him. They hadn't spoken, except through Sokka, in years; the last time Hakoda had visited her, he had told her he was disappointed she had left her heritage behind in favor of her husband's culture. She had not taken it well and had pretended she didn't need him ever since. Of course, now she realized he was right… should she say that? Could she admit that? She finally drifted off to sleep as the sky was lightening beyond the confines of her tent, her mind whispering incessantly even in her dreams.

After a hasty breakfast the next morning, Katara dashed back to the village, dragging a reluctant Zuko with her. She found the post office, although it was hardly deserving of that description, as it was only a small shack holding a single, bedraggled messenger hawk. Sighing, she decided it would be best to send her letter to Sokka, who could then send it on to the South Pole, as this hawk barely looked as if he could make it to Langmar, let alone the South Pole.

The old man in the shack loaned her the use of the special thin paper the hawks used and ink. She quickly dashed off a note to Sokka asking him to send the enclosed to their father, then chewed on the pen, thinking about how to begin the letter. Finally she decided on _Dear father_.

 _Dear father,_

 _Some news has come from the Fire Nation. They plan to invade us in an attempt to destroy the seat of religion, something about starting a new one where the Fire Lord in the god incarnate, I think. We don't quite know when it'll happen, but as you're aware, we have no military. Will you help protect us? Your ships would be a great help and could save many lives. It would be good to see you._

 _Your daughter,_

 _Katara_

Hesitating, she reluctantly added a postscript.

 _P.S. Aang and I are separated. It was my idea. You were right about him, and me._

She handed both missives to the man, who tied them to the hawk and sent the poor thing off. "You're here to see the mayor, right?" he asked.

"Yes," Katara replied guardedly.

"If you're looking for her, she won't be at her house today. Some trees fell last night and she's out surveying the damage. I think a couple people lost their houses."

She passed him a few silver coins, some extra thrown in for the information, and thanked him. Exiting the shack, she noticed that the village did seem to be worse for the wear after last night; sticks and leaves were scattered everywhere and many of the houses were surrounded by puddles. "Just how bad was this storm last night?" she muttered under her breath.

Zuko stood from where he'd been lounging against the side of the shack. "Pretty bad, apparently."

She sighed and squared her shoulders. "I guess we'd best find the mayor. The man in there said she was where the worst of the damage was." It didn't take long to find; it was obvious where the trees had fallen on a house, as it was surrounded by villagers. The mayor was also easy to spot, as she was the only one with airbender tattoos. Katara wondered why a master airbender would live in such a tiny, desolate village such as this, but she figured it was none of her business. She briefly checked her list, noting the woman's name was Rinzen, then pushed through the crowd to her.

Rinzen was directing a group of men to move the tree trunk off of the roof, using her bending to help occasionally. Katara cleared her throat politely and waited, Zuko hovering behind her. Rinzen turned, hands on her hips. "Yes?"

"Hello, Mayor Rinzen," Katara said politely, extending a hand, which was ignored. "We're here from the capital to talk to you, on orders from the Lama."

Rinzen arched one eyebrow. "Right, you people. Wait over there and I'll join you in a moment." Turning her back on them, she returned to her task of directing the men. Katara shrugged at Zuko and they moved to a spot outside the crowd, underneath a tree of the same kind that had caused so much destruction. They both leaned against the large trunk, watching the fallen tree be slowly cut into smaller pieces and moved away.

"I hope no one was hurt," Katara remarked. "Maybe I should ask if they need any healing."

"Maybe," Zuko replied nonchalantly.

It was at least half an hour before Rinzen came over to them, and by that time Katara was sweating in her tunic, tired of slapping bugs away. She tried to keep in mind that this was an important task and it was not personal, but was still somewhat irritated. _You're being selfish_ , her inner voice chided. Part of her wanted to go help just to get it over with, but she didn't think the insular villagers would take kindly to a stranger butting in.

Finally, Rinzen motioned for them to follow her, and they walked a short distance to a circle of flat stones, clearly a gathering area of some sort. She folded herself onto one stone and asked curtly, "So what do you want? Be quick about it; my village is in distress currently."

Katara chose a stone and began. "This is Zuko, Prince of the Fire Nation, and I am Katara, wife of the-"

"I know who you are," Rinzen cut in sharply.

Katara tried not to glare at her. "Anyway, Zuko has come to use bearing news of an imminent attack by the Fire Nation on our religion and people. We believe he only plans to attack the capital, so we are asking the mountain towns to take in citizens of the city to protect them until the invasion is over, one way or the other. You would be doing a great service if you would allow a couple of families to stay here for a few months."

"And why do you think I would do anything for you?" Rinzen bit off. "Our country is so misguided that our Lama married a Water Tribe whore who cares nothing for the sanctity of life. I've seen what your people do to their enemies. Why on earth would I ever want to help anyone who agrees with anything the High Council and the Lama does? Your mission is useless and I hope the Fire Nation cleanses us so only the true believers are left." She rose and smoothed her skirts. "Now if you don't mind I have things that _actually matter_ to deal with. Useless fools."

Katara gaped at her, too shocked to speak before the woman made her way out of the circle. "Water Tribe _whore_?" she finally said, her voice strangled. Standing, she dashed to catch up to Rinzen. "What do you mean, what my people do?" she demanded. "I've lived here for eight years and you think I know nothing? How can you possibly think I ruin an entire nation of people?"

Rinzen spun, her robes flowing in a sudden breeze. "Your people murdered my sister," she hissed, "an innocent priest stationed in their territory, trying to teach you savages religion. I woke up with her lying next to me, _dead_ , and the investigation stopped when you married him and we just _had_ to make an alliance with them. You are all barbarians."

"We are not barbarians!" Katara has no idea how far her voice was carrying, but she didn't care. "I'm sorry your sister died but that has nothing to do with me! I'm not even _from_ the Northern Tribe! And I love this country and its people!"

"Oh, really?" Rinzen challenged. "And yet here you are trying to convince me to make sacrifices for _you_ instead of helping people that need it! You think marrying the Lama makes you important? All it means is that you drag him, our spiritual leader, into thinking war is a viable option!"

Shoving Rinzen aside, Katara stormed past her. "You want me to help people? I'll show you helping people." Because she was right, Katara realized. It was wrong of her to try to distract Rinzen when there were people hurt and possibly dying. It was a betrayal of her principles to ignore people in pain like that, and she cursed inwardly for focusing so much on their mission. She marched towards the house and surveyed the damage. She didn't see any visibly injured people; maybe no one had been in the house? Spying a large man who had been part of the earlier tree moving crew, she tapped him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, was anyone hurt here earlier? I'm a healer and I'd like to help."

The man grunted. "Yeah, one woman broke her leg. We moved her to Rinzen's house."

Satisfied, Katara nodded her thanks and walked to what she remembered as Rinzen's house from yesterday when they arrived. She knocked on the door, which was opened by a tired-looking woman. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"I'm here to heal the woman with the broken leg."

The woman nodded, her head seeming too heavy for her neck, and opened the door wider. Katara let one hand linger briefly on the poor woman's shoulder, wishing she knew how to ease exhaustion. The house was dark and cool inside, curtains drawn across the windows. The woman with the broken leg was lying in front of the empty hearth, a dim lamp shining on her. Her soft groans of pain filled the silence.

Katara hurried in and knelt beside her, feeling the woman's forehead. It was sweaty, which was good; it meant there was no infection yet. "Can I have some water and more light?" she asked calmly. She would need more than this wan light to see what she was dealing with.

The tired woman nodded and drew open some curtains, letting in sunlight and fresh air. Her patient groaned and shuddered, feebly attempting to cover her eyes. "Shh," Katara soothed, "I'll help."

A bowl of water was laid in front of her and Katara bent to examining the leg, water gloved across her hands. It was a bad break and she was surprised the woman was even conscious. The jagged ends of his tibia showed throw a dirty rent in her skin, so she first bent to gently washing the dirt away. Satisfied with its cleanliness and trying to ignore the sobbing of her patient, she sighed and began healing the break. She knew it would hurt, as swelling had set in, making the bone hard to move back into place, even for her. Focusing on mending the torn pathways of the blood vessels, she slowly reduced the swelling, then set the bone with a snap. After that, mending the bone and torn skin was relatively easy, nothing she hadn't done before. Sure, it had been a while, but the skill came back to her as if she'd never stopped using it.

Having done as much as she could, Katara rocked back onto her heels and closed her eyes briefly. Healing was always wearying, especially when it was something so gruesome. A hand gently touched her knee, and she opened her eyes to see her patient half-sitting, looking at her with wonder. "Thank you," the woman breathed. "Thank you."

Katara couldn't keep herself from tearing up. "You're welcome," she said with a smile. This was what she was meant to do, she knew in her bones. Helping people was her destiny. Maybe she had forgotten that for a little while, but she wouldn't forget it again. Not to mention healing all their hurt and sick would be a great way to prove that horrible Rinzen wrong.

She squeezed the woman's hand and stood, stretching as she turned to see Rinzen standing in the door of her home, arms crossed. "So you healed one woman," she said curtly. "I appreciate it, but you're not going to change my opinion. Healing is a useful skill but it doesn't make you one of us."

"I intend to prove you wrong," Katara stated firmly. "No matter how long it takes." She pushed past the horrid woman into the sunshine, wondering where Zuko had disappeared to. She couldn't wait to tell him what she'd done… okay, so maybe she wanted to brag a little. But it felt good to be useful, to fix something. Even if her life was confusing and maybe broken and maybe unfixable, at least she could help others. No matter. He was sure to show up at their campsite that night.

Dismissing her concern for later, she found who she figure was probably the husband of the woman she'd just healed, as he had an anxious look, twisting a knit cap in his hands. "Was your wife the one who broke her leg?"

He looked nervously at her. "Yes, is she… is she going to be okay? It looked so bad I just… I didn't know what to tell our kids, I don't know what to do without her it looked so awful… Rinzen said she had medicine…" His voice trailed off, a sob catching in his throat.

"She'll be fine," Katara replied soothingly. "I'm a waterbending healer and I was able to fix most of the damage. A week or two of resting it and she'll be back to normal."

To her surprise, the man broke into sobs and hugged her, his arms pressing her tightly into his chest. "Thank you, ma'am. Thank you so much." A small smile grew on her face as she rubbed the man's back absently. Pulling away from her, he wiped his face and bowed awkwardly. "Sorry, it's just… I just…"

She waved him off. "It's fine. Go be with your wife."

He bobbed a quick bow again and all but ran into Rinzen's house, which was really more of a large hut. She knew she wanted to heal anyone else who was sick or hurt here, but she wasn't sure where to start. Maybe they had a sickhouse? She would ask Rinzen, but she didn't suppose she'd get an answer. She should go find that large man again.

A hand clasped around her upper arm and spun her. "What are you doing, Katara?" Zuko demanded.

"I'm helping people," she answered defiantly. "They need me."

Zuko led her off a little ways so they were alone. "You know who else needs you? Your _entire country_. You're wasting time here, Rinzen isn't going to take people in no matter what you do."

Katara jerked her arm from his grasp. "This isn't about her! It's about me forgetting that I need to help those who need it! I'm not going to leave until I've done everything I can for them. I will never turn my back on people who need me! If you don't like that, then you can just leave without me."

"Katara, you're being ridiculous! This village is tiny. You can help a few people here or you can help thousands of people by leaving! Which is better?"

"Of course you don't understand," she said in a patronizing tone. "I know things are different in the Fire Nation, but here we care about every individual. I'm not going to forget that again."

He stared at her. Katara knew she had hurt him, but she had done what she had to to ensure he wouldn't continue to argue with her about this.

"How dare you," he hissed. "I gave up everything to come here and help people. _Everything_. My friends, my family, my title."

Katara kept pushing. "Well, then you should understand what I'm doing here! Why don't you see that this is worth it? I can make a difference to these people and accomplish my mission at the same time. It's not my fault you're too narrow-minded to see that."

His jaw clenched, a muscle in his good cheek twitching slightly. "Fine. Have it your way. I'm not going to be around to watch you waste your time proving you're not a barbarian." With that, he stormed off.

"That's not what this is about!" she yelled after him. It wasn't. At least not fully. She just knew she needed to help these people.

* * *

A/N: A new chapter! Woo! Ugh, this took forever to write. I've been incredibly busy with my other creative outlet, costuming lately (I even started a blog if you're interested: cosmiccostumes. wordpress. com. Just remove the spaces.).

Anyway, sorry to those of you who were hoping for another lemon this chapter, I just didn't have it in me. I hope you'll be pleased anyway. The title this time is in reference to a German literary movement in the 18th century that focused on emotional extremes and gray characters. I thought it was appropriate for this chapter, especially poor Rinzen. I feel for her, I really do. I would hate a ruler whose marriage prevented a sibling's death from being investigated, too.

We also get to see Katara's Painted Lady side come out a little bit. So here's the thing. I effing love this side of Katara. Buuuuuuut it is a huge time sink to focus on a few individuals instead of the larger good. And unfortunately she has slightly less altruistic motives here than in the show; she definitely wants to help people, but she's also resentful that it took someone who hates her guts and thinks she's a savage to point it out. So now she has the dual motivation of helping people like she wants to and proving not only to Rinzen but also to herself that she's not that person Rinzen thinks she is.

Meanwhile, Zuko, ever the voice of practicality, is pretty frustrated.

Does anyone else see Katara as the kind of person who in an argument would know exactly what to say to make you the most angry? I don't know why, but I do. Maybe because of how she treats Sokka in the Southern Raiders.


	15. Chapter 15: Witch Hunt

**Chapter 15: Witch Hunt**

Katara eventually discovered that they did, in fact, have an isolated sickhouse, currently filled with people suffering from an assortment of spring fevers. Kneeling among the mostly sleeping patients, she healed one after the other, thinking as she did. _Poor Rinzen_ , she realized. That must have been hard. After the fourth healing, she thought that maybe, just maybe, her hatred of Katara was understandable. What if someone had killed Sokka? Would she so easily forgive the person who had prevented hunting down the person who killed him? If it had been her, she probably would have said screw alliances and gone after the killer herself.

Actually, it was a little impressive Rinzen had never tried to enact vengeance. If the only bitterness she showed was towards Katara… was she really such a hateful person? Katara hadn't realized her marriage had had such dire consequences; she had known it strengthened ties with both Water Tribes but she hadn't been overly concerned with the terms of those alliances. She had been too excited and in love.

Katara smoothed the hair back from a young child's face, his arms curled around a stuffed animal. He blinked at her sleepily as she healed him, the compassion in her heart swelling to almost overflowing. Placing a kiss on his now-cool forehead, she fervently wished she had one of these. Ah, well. At least she could help this little one. "You can go home now," she whispered, breaking the near silence of the dark room. The child hesitantly placed a small hand on her cheek, then grabbed his animal and dashed outside.

The child had been the last, and the sick house stirred with the murmurs of people realizing their fevers had broken. A chorus of amazed thank yous came, filling Katara with the simple contentment of a job well done. She bowed and exited into the bright sunlight, her troubled heart at ease for the first time in what felt like years. Feeling peaceful, she reflected again on Rinzen, and decided she didn't mind if Rinzen needed to hate her to live her life. By allowing Rinzen to hate her, she would ease someone else's pain and that, she thought, looking at the formerly sick villagers slowly emerging into the light, was a very good thing.

Suddenly, the toll of healing so many people in a short amount of time struck her, and she nearly staggered under the weight of her weariness. It didn't help that she had not eaten since that morning, a long time ago now. Deciding that she wouldn't bother Rinzen any more than she needed to, she began the long walk to her campsite, wondering if Zuko and Appa would still be there.

As it turned out, Appa was there and grateful to have some company, but Zuko was still absent. Collapsing in front of their fire pit, she pulled out a handful of jerky, too tired to cook. The meat did restore some energy to her, so she went over to pet Appa, keenly aware of how much she'd been neglecting him. He probably missed Aang. The stroking and gentle appreciative noises from Appa lulled her into a calm half-daze, warmed by the friendly sunlight. Eventually she fell asleep leaning against his furry side, her worries momentarily gone.

When she awoke later, the sun was low in the sky. Zuko was sitting silently, his back turned to her. Meditating, maybe, she reflected. She had seen him do that occasionally. Stretching, she yawned loudly and stood, giving Appa a grateful pat. She felt much better now, if not quite as peaceful as before. Seeing Zuko stirred a gnawing anxiety in her belly-was he still mad at her? Should she apologize? Yes, she decided. She had been cruel to him earlier.

Hesitantly, she walked over to where he sat, her hands clasped behind her back pentiantly. Without opening his eyes, he asked, "So you've changed your mind about staying?"

She stopped, taken aback. "What? No, I haven't changed my mind."

His golden eyes glittered at her dangerously. "I assumed that since you came back you realized I was right."

Her fists found their way to her hips. "No, you were not right at all. I'll have you know I made a big difference in this village today. I healed their entire sickhouse."

"Great, so you've done all you can and now we can leave."

"No, I'm not done! There might be other people here who need my help, injured people who weren't in isolation." She stuck a finger in his face. "We won't leave until _I_ say we do. Get that through your thick skull."

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes again, apparently fighting for control of himself. His next words came haltingly, as though he were struggling to say them. "I'm sorry she called you a whore, but you're not going to change her mind."

"That's not what this is about!" she shouted. "Why don't you get that? I'll admit at first I wanted to prove her wrong but today when I was healing…" Her voice grew softer, remembering. "Everything became clear; she needs to hate me to feel better about what happened to her, and if I can ease her pain by letting her hate me, I will."

He looked surprised. "You mean that? You don't care what she thinks of you?"

Katara shook her head. "Not anymore. I just want to help people." She sat in front of him and placed a hand on his knee. "Help me help them. Please."

His eyes flickered away from her. "I don't think this is the right way to help them. You know that. But then," he added bitterly, "I guess I'm just too Fire Nation to understand."

Katara winced. "I'm sorry. That's what I came over here to say… I'm sorry. I was cruel earlier… I know you gave up a lot to be here and… yeah," she finished lamely. "I was out of line. Even if I think you're wrong."

"I appreciate your apology," he said, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly, "but I can't support you in this. We should be helping the majority and finishing our mission."

Her shoulders slumped. "If that's how you feel."

"It is." He closed his eyes and resumed meditating. Katara shuffled away, feeling thoroughly dismissed. Grabbing a handful of dried mangoes from her bag, she headed into her tent, now cold and lonely. Didn't he like her? Why wouldn't he help her? Huddling in her blankets, she fell asleep again, trying to focus on who she would help tomorrow.

The next morning she awoke alone in her tent and sighed. Clearly he hadn't forgiven her yet. Well, maybe today would change his mind. As she exited into the light, she saw him curled up where he had sat yesterday, his head pillowed on an arm. She was surprised she was awake before him, as he usually woke with the sunrise. Perhaps he hadn't slept well last night, which would be no surprise on the rocky ground, she observed dryly. Walking quietly so as not to wake him, she headed back up towards the village, reasoning that perhaps if she finished quickly he would see that she could both do their mission and heal people.

The village was still quiet this early in the morning, a few laborers heading toward the village's barley field. She mostly got suspicious looks from them, although she recognized the one who waved shyly at her as the husband of the woman with the broken leg. She waved back and headed towards Rinzen's house, finding her behind it working through airbender forms.

Rinzen noticed her and stopped, not quite glaring at Katara, but it wasn't a particularly friendly look either. "What now?" she asked. "I'm not going to change my mind about accepting refugees, so don't even ask."

Katara licked her lips. "Rinzen, I wanted to tell you I understand your feelings towards me. I'm not going to change your mind. I just want to help your people, nothing more. You made me realize I was neglecting that. So with your permission, if there are any other sick or injured, I'd like to work on them this morning. I apologize for not asking yesterday." She bowed politely, the bow of an advanced student to her sifu.

Rinzen arched an eyebrow, her arms folded. "Well, you're certainly more polite today. I guess there's a baby who hasn't been doing well if you're that desperate to help. I'll take you." She strode off briskly, leaving Katara to scramble behind her. Rinzen seemed to like to do that, she thought, but at least she was letting her help.

The house Rinzen took her to was one of the smallest in the village, its thatch in need of repair. A couple of young children were playing in the dirt outside, ignoring the two women approaching. Rinzen knocked briskly on the door and entered before anyone answered. The house consisted of a single room with a swept dirt floor, lit by a glassless window. A mother leaped up from her chair, clutching an infant to her breast.

"Mayor!" she cried, startled. "To what do I owe the honor?"

"Dawa, this is Katara. She's here about your baby. Let her look at it." With that, Rinzen swept out of the hut with a flourish of her robes, leaving Katara and Dawa to look at each other awkwardly.

"Uh… I'm a healer," Katara stated, feeling keenly the lack of someone to introduce her better. "What's wrong with your baby?"

Dawa rocked the silent infant. "She's just so listless. She doesn't ever want to eat or nothing. And she stopped crying yesterday. Now she just sleeps all the time." She looked at Katara, tears in her grey eyes. "Can you fix her?"

Katara took the sleeping infant and carefully placed it on the ground, drawing water from her skin and gloving her hands. The baby was tiny, far smaller than she thought is should have been. When she ran her hands over her, she could feel nothing physically wrong with the infant; she simply seemed to be wasting away. "Was she born early?" she asked Dawa without looking up.

"Yes, a little, I think. Earlier than the other two."

She tried for a while to heal any imperfections she could find, trying to increase the infant's circulation, but it was hopeless. Katara replaced the water in her skin and shook her head, gently handing the baby back to her mother. "I've seen this before. Sometimes babies who are born too early just waste away. I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do."

Dawa gaped at her. "You mean she's dying?"

"It… seems likely. I'm so sorry."

Clutching the child to her chest, Dawa stood violently. "You witch! You're a lying witch! Get out of my house!"

Katara stood slowly and backed out, hands held before her non-threateningly. "Dawa, I'm not a witch. I wish I could help, I really do, but there's nothing to be done. Maybe if I had been here when she was born I could have done something…"

Dawa came at her, eyes wide in hysteria. "No, you cursed her and then you came here to rub it in my face! My precious baby, this is all your fault! Get out!"

Katara felt behind her for the door and opened it, leaving quickly. Dawa reopened the door, listless infant still in her arms, and began yelling after her. "She's a witch! She said my baby is going to die! Get her!"

She began running before anyone could listen to Dawa, heading up the hill towards Rinzen's house, hoping Rinzen would make sure this didn't turn into anything. Finding the house empty, she sat against the wall, catching her breath. She didn't understand what she'd done wrong, why was Dawa accusing her of being a witch? Surely no one would believe her. Katara sat there for a while, enjoying the cool stone of the wall behind her and feeling sorry for the poor grieving mother. Zuko appeared beside her and sat down.

"Heal any more people?" he asked cautiously.

She shook her head. "I tried to heal an infant, but there was nothing I could do. She's going to die."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "It's not the first time this has happened." Turning to look at him, she added, "Have you forgiven me?"

He said nothing, staring into the street in front of them. She followed his gaze to see Rinzen leading a group of people towards her, a baby-less Dawa clutching her arm. The group stopped just before they reached her, Rinzen asking in a level voice, "Katara, Dawa says you cursed her child to die. Is this true?"

"Rinzen, you know it's not. I just couldn't do anything for her baby and she got upset. I didn't do anything."

Rinzen gestured to the people behind her. "These people believe you caused her harm, that if you can heal surely you can take life as well, and it would take more effort than I am willing to give on your behalf to convince them otherwise."

Katara stood, causing Zuko to jump to his feet. "I'm sorry you all feel that way," she addressed the group, "but I can assure you my only skills are at using my bending to heal. I can't remove life the same way I can give it."

A man at the back of the group yelled, "Liar! Why should we trust you?" A slight smirk appeared on Rinzen's face as the group moved closer.

Zuko stepped in front of her, throwing his arm out across her body. "So she couldn't save one baby. She was trying to help you! Because of her, no one died from the tree falling and everyone was healed from spring fevers! You should be grateful, not running her out of town."

"Zuko, it's okay." Katara pushed his arm aside and moved to confront the villagers. "I understand why you're upset. I'm sorry I can't save your baby," she said to Dawa, "and I know that it must be devastating to hear. I would never ignore how you feel. I wish that I could do more."

Dawa looked slightly ashamed and very, very sad. Katara's heart broke for the poor mother. "I wish that I could fix all of your problems, but I can't. I'm not a spirit. All I can do is tackle the problems I can fix." She looked at Zuko, who was watching her silently. "Like keeping you safe from the Fire Nation." The corner of his mouth turned up slightly. "Thank you for your hospitality. Rinzen, maybe one day I can help you."

The group was silent as she turned and walked away, Zuko close on her heels, a loyal bodyguard. She slowed and let him catch up. "Thanks for sticking up for me, even though you didn't think I should be helping them," she said quietly.

"It doesn't matter what I think, they shouldn't have treated you like that." He looked down at her slyly. "What made you change your mind?"

"Well, being all but run out of town as a witch helped," she replied sarcastically. Her tone softening, she went on. "And realizing I can't fix everything."

His hand found hers and squeezed. "We're helping a lot of people."

She exhaled loudly. "I know. I hate seeing people suffering, though."

"I guess… since it's important to you, maybe if we have some extra time in the place we stop you could heal people, if you want to."

Her laughter rung in the cool air. "Yes, because I clearly need your permission to do that."

He snatched his hand back. "I was trying to be nice," he grumbled.

Patting his shoulder patronizingly as they walked, she reassured him. "Oh, I know. It was just funny."

His face eased somewhat. "Just so you know, I will always have your back if you need me."

Her heart twisted and seemed to seize, a strange reaction to his uncharacteristic admission of caring. "You're really sweet sometimes." The side of his face she could see, the good side, blushed a faint pink as he looked away from her.

"Let's just get back to Appa," he growled.

As they reached the campsite and began packing, the sun near its peak above them, a thought struck Katara. "Zuko," she cried, panic entering her voice, "what if they're all like Rinzen? What if there's nowhere for people to go?"

Zuko thought for a moment. "There's always the Temples. Anyway you can't possibly know that until we try. We'll make it work."

This eased the knot of tension slightly. At least there was the Air Temples to fall back on. She began to climb onto Appa's head until Zuko grabbed her arm. "Let me steer. You sleep."

She realized belatedly that she was still exhausted. She had put a lot into trying to save that infant. "Thanks." Zuko boosted her into the wide, basket-like saddle. Pillowing her bedroll under her head, she closed her eyes and tried to relax as Zuko consulted the map, instructing Appa to take off and head north. The hushed rush of the wind in her ears lulled her, its cool fingers wafting over her, soft as a lover's touch.

"Hey Zuko," she heard herself call, most of her mind already lost in dreams, "I'm really glad Sokka couldn't find any earthbenders to send."

She faintly heard him chuckle, then respond, "Yeah, me too." Then she was lost to the world, dreaming of his warm hands.

* * *

A/N: HEY YOU GUYS I POSTED AGAIN. LOOKIT. Lol.

I originally intended for this little side plot to be one chapter but it got too long, so I had to split it. I totally did not steal some things from The Painted Lady. *cough* For real though, I'm pretty sure people who had never seen waterbending healing before would definitely think it was witchcraft. Backwater villages tend to do that. *nods sagely* I might have had wine tonight. In case you can't tell from this note.

Anyway, the Katara-and-Zuko-off-by-themselves will probably wrap up soon, I think. I'm ready to add in some other familiar characters that I don't have to find names for. After all, why write fanfiction if I have to create my own characters? :P


	16. Chapter 16: Drunken Shenanigans

**Chapter 16: Drunken Shenanigans**

They settled into a routine over the next few weeks. Arrive at a town, talk things over, heal a few people while the leader thought it over, talk some more, then move on to the next one after they eventually got the leader's consent. It was going quite well, all things considered. An occasional town refused to hear them out, but the Air Noble generosity prevailed for the most part and it looked like with the Air Temples housing people they would be able to evacuate the city entirely. Katara had begun to be happy, content, something that hadn't happened in so long that it felt foreign.

Sometimes other foreign feelings would surface. On those rare occasions when she made Zuko smile, her heart would seize, then flutter wildly. At first she tried to ignore it fruitlessly. What was the harm, really, though? So she had a tiny crush on him. It was to be expected, honestly, after all the traveling they'd done together, not to mention all the sex. He treated her well and she liked that. That was that. So if her heart wanted to flutter, well, it was kind of a nice feeling, one she hadn't felt since she was a teenager. She felt like one again now, albeit one with responsibilities and diplomatic skills. Being around him made the years fall away and she reveled in it.

When they reached the last town on Sokka's list her shoulders slumped a bit. Sure, it was exciting to be nearly done, but… things would be so much more complicated when they went back to the capital. She wouldn't call the past weeks easy, as they had been physically exhausting, but they had been simple. With no one else around, she and Zuko were able to spend nights together, have sex as the mood took them, kiss in delight at a shared moment. It was blissful and now it was coming to an end. She would shortly have to face questions about her future, ones she had been ignoring.

So when Zuko suggested getting a drink after the negotiations in Gyiru were finished, she agreed readily. A drink would be just the thing to take her mind off of the impending journey back to the capital… and to Aang. The store owner recommended they try the local rakshi, assuring them it was so good, even the airbenders drank it, high praise indeed. Katara wasn't convinced, but it couldn't be worse than the fermented banyan leaf juice she'd had in the Foggy Swamp.

Back at their camp (she would definitely be glad to sleep in a bed again), Katara brushed Appa as Zuko ladled out noodles bought at the same store as the rakshi. A wicked grin crossed her face as she remembered a game they used to play in the Water Tribe. This would be a most excellent way to keep her from stressing tonight.

She quickly slurped the mediocre noodles. "Would you like to play a game?" she suggested casually.

Zuko stopped eating momentarily and narrowed his eyes at her. "What kind of game?"

"A drinking game, one we used to play in the Water Tribe. I'm quite good at it," she added slyly.

He finished his noodles and folded his arms across his chest. "I'll have you know I'm good at most games."

"This one is a little different." Rummaging in her bag, she pulled out the rakshi and two small clay cups she had also purchased. She sat one in front of each of them and filled them with the acrid-smelling clear liquid. "It's called Ten Fingers. On your turn, you say something you've never done, and if the other person has, they have to take a drink and put down a finger." Her hand held in front of her with fingers spread, she smirked at him. "First one to put all ten down has to empty their cup three time."

He sighed and held up his hands. "Fine."

Katara started. "I've never had a sister."

His yellow eyes glared at her as she giggled, watching him take the first drink. He spluttered slightly. "Good?" she asked innocently.

"Surprisingly strong, but yes." One finger down. "I've never had a brother."

Katara stuck her tongue out at him. "Don't just copy me, that's boring." Nevertheless, she curled one thumb inward and swallowed her drink, coughing at the sharp burning that accompanied it. It did have a pleasant, fresh taste, somewhat like ice wine. Refilling her cup, she tapped an open finger against her lips. What could she say that he wouldn't copy? He said he had been pretty much all over the world… "I've never been to the Fire Nation."

Zuko gaped at her. "What? Really? Never?"

"No, never. I haven't crossed the ocean."

"You should fix that." He tossed the rakshi back. "You would like it, there's lots of water."

Katara rolled her eyes. "Ah, yes, that's my only criteria for liking a place. Of course. Maybe after all of the conflict settles down. Your turn," she gestured at him with him with the hand that had a folded thumb.

He blinked a few times, perhaps trying to focus on something besides the burning in his throat. "I've never been married."

"You got me there," Katara sighed as she took her second drink. The liquor was strong enough that she could already feel it affecting her sense. "I've never had a job that I got paid for."

Zuko narrowed his eyes at her again. "You realize the entire point is to say things you know the other person has done, so don't get mad," she said, fighting off laughter. "Take your drink already."

He obeyed her silently, the tiniest of shudders creeping across his body. "I've never had sex with the same person for ten years."

"Good one, but neither have I."

"What?" he exclaimed. "Yes you have."

She shook a finger at him. "I most certainly did not start sleeping with Aang when I was sixteen, thank you very much. He made me wait until we were married."

"Dammit," he replied sullenly.

Her smirk returned. "I've never shaved my face." That one always got Sokka. Zuko took his drink, a visible flush creeping up his neck.

"I've never played this stupid game before."

Katara snorted into her drink, gasping for cool air to soothe away the burn. "You're just mad you're losing."

One side of his mouth lifted slightly as he held up his remaining six fingers. "Maybe."

"Hmm. I've never regretted sleeping with someone." She smiled shyly at him.

He smiled back, making her heart do that fluttering thing, amplified by the three shots of rakshi. "While nice, I definitely have." He downed his drink and sighed. "When I was younger I had this girlfriend in the Fire Nation. I liked her a lot but it ended badly. Then I had this rebound and we slept together...it was a bad idea all around, but I thought it would make me feel better." He shrugged. "Teenage boys and all that."

"Yes, the fabled horniness of the teenage boy." She sighed dramatically, a hand to her chest. "If only my teenage boyfriend had been like that." She giggled a little, the rakshi lifting her into ebullience. "You're halfway to losing."

"Yeah, well, I've never gotten sick from drinking, so there."

Her giggling increased. "Neither have I! I'm a healer remember?"

"Shit," he muttered. "Stupid alcohol. Why are you so good at this?"

"I've had lots of practice, although Sokka and I didn't drink when we were younger, not really."

"I hope you didn't talk about sex either."

She leaned over and slapped his shoulder playfully. "Of course not! We most did stupid stuff like I've never pretended to be a warrior when Dad wasn't home or I've never cooked sea prunes."

He grabbed her hand, pulling it towards him. When she pulled back, he briefly lost his balance and pitched forward. Instead of catching himself, Katara found his head in her lap, his eyes blinking innocently up at her. "I meant to do that."

"Sure you did," she laughed, but she stroked his hair with one hand. "You're drunk."

"No, but I'm getting there," he answered. "You keep making me drink."

"Well, prepare to drink more, because I've never had an uncle." He blinked at her some more. "That was my statement! Now you have to drink!" She nudged him until he propped himself up and emptied his cup.

"Gyah," he spluttered. "This gets worse with every cup." He let the cup fall to the ground and laid his head back in Katara's lap, nuzzling one thigh affectionately. "I've never broken a bone," he murmured into her leggings.

"That's good for you, but neither have I." She squealed as he nipped at her. "Not fair, don't do that!"

"I swear you're cheating," he stated as firmly as he could after drinking so much, staring up into her face.

Katara twined one inky lock around her finger and decided to give him a break. "I've never eaten a lizard snake." She figured that would be an easy one.

"Ugh. Give me my drink." He struggled up on his elbows, feeling around for his cup.

"What?" she screeched. Appa looked at her balefully and laid his massive head back down. "Who the hell eats lizard snake?" The rakshi splashed into his upheld cup.

"We do," he said, gulping the liquor. "Roasted, with hot peppers. It's delicious."

"Well, it sounds disgusting," she sniffed. "You weren't supposed to have to drink for that one."

Zuko smiled up at her, having flopped back down onto her crossed legs. "You don't have to go easy on me. I can hold my liquor."

"Can you really?"

"Mmm." Turning his head, he nuzzled her leg again. "You smell nice."

Apparently Zuko was an affectionate drunk. Why was she surprised? "Thank you." She poked him in the forehead. "It's your turn."

"Um." He floundered. "I've never…. I've never had to…" He squinted his eyes, coming up with nothing. "You're going to win anyway, can I just concede?"

Triumph blossomed in her. She had bested him! "Fine, but only if you drink your three losing drinks."

He sat up and cracked his knuckles, grim determination settling onto his face. "I'm ready. Fill it up." She filled the cup once, twice, thrice, each time watching the muscles in his neck tighten as he swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. After the third, he shook his head briskly, then slowly placed a hand across his forehead. "That was a bad idea, now everything is spinning."

Katara stretched her legs out and patted her lap. "Come lay on me." He eagerly complied, lying across her thighs. Feeling like touching him, she undid the topknot that held half his shoulder-length hair out of his face and began braiding it, caressing the fine, straight as a pin locks. Braids looked nice on him, she reflected, starting another on the other side of his face.

He closed his eyes and sighed in pleasure, enjoying the attention. "That feels nice," he mumbled, words running together. Katara was silent as she continued to braid, feeling the intensity of her high from the alcohol begin to dim. Now she wished she hadn't let Zuko conceed and had kept drinking, although drunk Zuko was quite fun. He usually wasn't this snuggly.

Focusing on her braids, she didn't notice Zuko was watching her until he spoke. "You're beautiful." Stifling a giggle, she tried not to hurt his feelings by laughing. What a difference a few drinks made; she knew he liked the way she looked, but he never really voiced it.

"Thank you," she replied, proud of keeping the giggling from reaching her voice. Having finished four neat, symmetric braids around his face, she leaned back on her hands and surveyed her work. Add some shell beads and he could almost be Water Tribe, although his features and coloring were so obviously Fire Nation she doubted anyone would really mistake him for anything else.

"Are you done braiding my hair?" he asked sleepily. His whole face was flushed, even his scar, which looked more like it must have when he was younger, a furious red.

"Yeah, I like it. You should do that instead of a topknot."

"Will you keep playing with my hair? It feels nice."

The request was so endearing she couldn't say no. Instead, she kissed his forehead and began running her fingers through his hair, her fingernails brushing his scalp. He shivered under her ministrations, exhaling heavily. If he was a cat owl, she suspected he would have been purring.

Hi eyes closed again. She really hoped he wasn't going to sleep, since there was no way she was going to sit here all night just because he was drunk. The alcohol had worn off enough for her now that her head was beginning to hurt. She would play with his hair for a little bit longer, she decided, then tell him it was time to go to sleep. It was pretty late in the night anyway, judging from the stars.

"Katara, I think I love you." The confession was a quiet breath, words softened by the liquor. His eyes remained closed, as though he wasn't aware of the magnitude of what he'd just said.

Her hands froze. Her mind froze. Even her heart was completely still as she processed what she'd just heard. "What?" she asked tremulously, unsure if she'd hurt correctly.

He sat up, placed a hand on her cheek, and looked her in the eyes. "I'm not just saying it because I'm drunk. Although I am drunk. But it's true, I think I love you." He patted her cheek. "I just thought you should know." Pulling her face to him, he kissed her soundly, their breath tasting of rakshi. He then stumbled to his feet and shuffled off away from the camp in search of a bush, weaving an uncertain path.

Katara touched her lips wonderingly, staring after him. He loved her? Was he serious? Would he even remember saying it in the morning? She didn't really know if he was drunk enough for that; she would have been blacked out by that point, but she was considerably smaller than him. If he did remember and he brought it up tomorrow… Trying and failing to shove her panic aside, she climbed into her bedroll and pretended to be asleep as Zuko stumbled back. Curling up next to her, he buried his face in her hair and kissed the top of her head, sending a flutter through her torso.

Shortly after he was snoring, another thing Zuko didn't normally do. She lay perfectly still, open eyes watching the cold stars above. She examined her feelings for longer than she could count. Again and again she picked over her emotions, sorting how she had felt about Aang (but had that ever really been love or merely infatuation?) with those she had now for Zuko. They were similar, that was true. She had already concluded days ago that she was a little infatuated with him, a sort of puppy love. Was that what he meant? Drunk Zuko had not given her enough information for her to figure this out.

He made her feel happy and safe, she concluded eventually. She wasn't sure if that meant she was in love with him, but it was something. A yawn split her face, making the decision for her that that was enough contemplation for one night. Still apprehensive about Zuko's feelings, but marginally more sure of her own, she was finally able to drift off into a troubled sleep, her dreams haunted by feelings of unease.

The next morning she awoke before Zuko, unsurprising given how drunk he'd been. She suspected he'd have a wicked hangover and wished in retrospect she had made sure they both drank water, as she had a splitting headache. Katara sat up, the pain in her head increasing, and flopped back onto her blankets with a groan. She rolled over and popped open her water skin, summoning water to her hand and freezing it. The ice soothed the pain and she sighed in relief. Normally, she had a hard time healing her headaches, but a hangover headache was different. The water glowed blue as she moved it around her temples, the noise escaping her mouth redolent with an almost sexual pleasure.

The hangover soothed to a dull rumble, she left Zuko to continue to sleep it off and squinted at the bright sun. Appa yawned and waddled over to her, rubbing his head on her as she tried not to lose her balance. "Hey buddy," she said blearily as she patted him. "Excited to go see Aang?" Appa roared happily at her. "Well, you might be the only one," she responded, giving him a final pat and going off to clean up the mess of the night before. She piled dirty cups and bowls and ran water over them quickly before packing them in a bag.

A groan behind her startled her. "Last night was a mistake," Zuko groused. Katara froze, hoping he wouldn't bring up what he said. "My head is killing me, I should not have drank so much." She gave an inner sigh of relief.

"I can heal it if you want," she answered brightly.

Zuko nodded assent, his eyes scrunched to a slit as he collapsed beside her. "Please."

Katara summoned her water and wrapped it around his head, feeling her insides quiver with arousal as he let out a deep, rumbling sigh, his pleasure obvious in the slack lines of his elegant face. Suddenly, he jerked upright, eyes flying open as he broke free of her water. His face full of alarm, he looked at her with wide eyes.

"Did I…?"

Katara just looked at him, watching red creep up his neck and face.

He groaned and covered his face. "I can't believe I said that," he whispered, voice heavy with mortification.

Katara fidgeted, unsure what to say. Her voice was small as she finally asked, "Is it true?"

He lowered his hands slightly so she could see his eyes. He looked… vulnerable. "Yes."

She took a deep breath. Then another. After a third, she nodded sharply. "Okay then."

"Okay then? That's it? Do you have any idea how hard that was for me to say?" Fists clenched, his eyes sparked with hurt and anger.

Katara pressed a cool palm to her forehead. "Yes, I do. My feelings for you are… complicated, and I don't know how to sort them out right now. Everything is going to get a whole lot more complicated when we go back, too. I'm sorry I can't make things more clear." She ran her hand across her hair and gripped her braid, looking at his face once more. "But I can tell you I like you very much." Her lips curved up in a hesitant smile, an offering of hope.

"You like me," he muttered, scoffing and pinching the bridge of his nose. He breathed in and held it for a few moments, letting it out with an exhalation of heat. This seemed to relax him, and he smiled at her, ever so slightly. "You should really work on being able to sort out your feelings."

Katara groaned and flopped backwards. "Tell me about it. You have no idea how annoying it is to always be confused about your own feelings. Why is everything always so difficult?"

Zuko stood and loomed over her, arms crossed. "Just promise me you'll try to figure it out, please?"

Her lips puckered in a moue. "Yes, fine, I promise. Just don't pressure me."

"Hey, look, I never would have said anything if you hadn't gotten me so drunk, so trust me when I say I don't want to have this conversation on a regular basis."

Katara blew absently on a wisp of hair hanging in her eyes and lay there, staring at the sun, wishing things weren't about to change. "Good to know."

* * *

A/N: WOO DRUNK CONFESSIONS TROPE! I couldn't resist having it, although most (maybe all?) of the fics I've read that have a drunk scene have Katara getting drunk. But really, of course they would play a drinking game on the last night of their mission. Wouldn't you? I totally would.

I'm pretty happy to be done with this part of the story, to be honest. I missed writing other characters! And when they get back Toph will be there! Since Aaliyah Rose 13, my most loyal of reviewers, wanted it. :) I'm excited to write her, though. It will be fun to channel my tough tomboy side as opposed to my more Katara-like side.

As always, review and let me know what you think! I hope you enjoyed it!


	17. Chapter 17: Welcome Home

**Chapter 17: Welcome Home**

Appa glided into the palace grounds with a happy roar, landing directly in front of the waiting Aang. He licked Aang affectionately as Katara and Zuko dismounted, noticing the group of people gathering. "Hey Katara," said Aang softly. "We saw you flying in."

Her hands fiddled with her skirt nervously. "Hey Aang." Then she noticed who was standing unusually quietly next to Sokka. "Toph!" With a cry, she ran to the petite, dark haired woman, smothering her in a hug.

"Woah, hey, alright I get it you're happy to see me," Toph said, pushing Katara away.

"What are you doing here?" the waterbender exclaimed.

Toph shrugged. "Your monk said you guys needed earthbenders, so I figured you deserved the best earthbender."

"But doesn't the King need you? I thought you were in charge of security now."

Toph smirked and ground a fist into her palm. "My guys know if they let anything happen to him while I'm gone they're going to get a real talking-to. He'll be fine without me."

Katara hugged the deceptively slight woman again, marveling at how close to the same height they were. Somehow Toph was always stuck as a young teenager in her head. "Well, I'm glad you're here." She barely caught the grudging smile that crossed the blind girl's face.

Sokka cleared his throat. "Now that you two have had your heartwarming reunion, can we talk business?"

Katara glanced furtively around her and saw that the group now included Suki as well as the High Council, including the returned Tashi. "Here? Can't we at least, you know, change first?"

Her brother pointed a scroll at her threateningly. "Talk now, change later. We have a schedule to stick to."

Katara groaned as Toph snickered. "I am _so_ glad you now get to put up with his schedule," Toph interjected. "'Toph, why don't you have more walls built? Toph, we need half the city done by now!' Snoozles doesn't understand that perfection takes time, even for the greatest earthbender in the world."

Katara looked over her shoulder at Zuko, who shrugged and pulled their list of towns out of his bag, and heaved a sigh. "Fine. Talk now, change later."

"Great!" exclaimed Sokka. "To the meeting room!"

Despite being the center of the gathered leaders' attention, Katara found it hard to focus during the lengthy meeting detailing how many people each town had agreed to take. The flight back had taken a long two days, spent mostly in silence, which she knew had been Zuko's attempt to respect her conflicting emotions. Still, they had been taxing, and worry over what would happen back in the capital had prevented her from getting much sleep.

A yawn broke through her description of the average village size encountered deep in the mountains, which was really quite small, and how most only had resources for three or four families. "I'm sorry," she continued, yawning again, "it's just been a long few weeks." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Suki elbow Sokka, who sighed in resignation.

"It looks like you both took pretty detailed notes, so I guess that's enough for today, if Aang is okay with that." Aang, who had remained silent throughout the meeting, shrugged. "So go sleep, Katara."

Katara nodded gratefully to her brother and stood with everyone else, Toph hanging somewhat anxiously close to Sokka and Suki. Her face splitting in another yawn, she headed in the direction of her rooms, excited to reach her wonderful bed after weeks of mostly sleeping on hard ground. As she rounded the corner, Zuko caught her elbow.

"Spar with me tomorrow morning?" His breath tickled her ear, the low rumbling of his voice sending tingles down her spine. "That's an appropriate way to spend time together, right?"

She gave a small nod, her ear brushing his lips. As sudden as a shooting star, he kissed her cheek and was gone, leaving her heart to flutter longingly.

Katara eventually made it to her bed and slept most of the day away, waking when the sun was low in the sky with a rumbling stomach. Debating the merits of getting up to find food but having to face people versus staying in bed, the hunger pangs were only getting harder to ignore when someone banged on her door.

"Open up, Sugar Queen!" called Toph cheerily. "I have food for you!"

Grumbling to herself, Katara climbed out her (lovely, wonderful, amazing) bed and opened the door for Toph, rubbing her bleary eyes as Toph thrust a roll wrapped in rice paper at her.

"Start eating and follow me," demanded Toph. "We're going for a walk."

The roll contained a lovely mix of rice noodles and vegetables, Katara discovered as she begrudgingly followed Toph outside to the edge of the hill the palace was built on. The earthbender bent a rock vaguely shaped like a chair out of the ground and plopped down, hands behind her head.

"So, here's the thing, Sweetness," Toph began, "I've been talking to Aang for the past couple of weeks and I know I haven't seen you guys for a few years but what the heck happened?"

Katara swallowed, wishing now she hadn't wolfed the roll down quite so quickly. "You've been talking to Aang about us?"

"He needed someone to talk to. Someone who wasn't related to you. You really broke his heart, you know," she added admonishingly. "So what I want to know is if you had a good reason for it, because if you didn't…" Her voice trailed off threateningly.

Katara's legs folded underneath her as she sat on the ground. "What did he tell you?"

Toph shrugged. "That out of nowhere you told him you didn't love him anymore and you were leaving him, something about how he didn't understand how he was stifling you when he gave you everything you want…" Her voice grew serious. "Which is true, you know. You live really well."

She began systematically shredding a blade of grass. "It wasn't out of nowhere. I didn't realize it, but I haven't loved him, not like a wife should love her husband, in a long time. I'm so tired of routine, and being useless, and feeling like all he wants me to do is change to be a good Lama's wife and not Katara of the Water Tribe…" Her voice softened as she hesitated. "Toph, can I tell you something I haven't told anyone?"

Toph snorted. "If it's about you and the prince you were traveling with, I already know there's something going on there. I felt you two after the meeting."

Katara swallowed nervously. "You… don't know everything. He was sort of… the catalyst for me realizing I wanted to leave Aang." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "I met him in a bar before I knew who he was and slept with him because I was so bored." Her hands fisted in her hair, she continued. "I know that makes me a terrible person, but I wanted intimacy so much and I couldn't get it from Aang and I know it's not really intimacy with a stranger but we hit it off and now he's not a stranger…" She trailed off as she realized Toph was tapping a foot impatiently.

"Are you done rambling?" the younger woman asked sarcastically.

She nodded, eyes lowered in shame.

"Look, Katara," Toph began, "I'm not going to judge you for sleeping with a stranger. That would be pretty hypocritical of me because I've done it before; in fact, I've done it a lot. I'm not happy you cheated on Aang, and that definitely wasn't the right way to handle the situation, but I can't say I didn't see this coming." She leaned back in her rock chair. "Aang has always had his head in the clouds and he's always thought the Air Nobles have the right idea about everything, so it doesn't surprise me that you would feel out of place here. Not that I think what you did was okay, but it doesn't surprise me. I guess the good thing is you let him know how you felt instead of just continuing to cheat on him."

Katara arched her eyebrows in surprise. "So you don't think I'm a horrible person?"

"No, Katara, I think you're human. Aang never has. He's always had a giant blind spot when it comes to your flaws."

"Thanks," the older woman added dryly.

"No problem. Just a warning, though, Aang really doesn't understand what happened, so he might try to analyze it with you. I know you're going to want to take care of him, but if you show him too much affection he will think you'll go back to him."

"I'll try."

"Oh, and if he catches you with that prince, he is going to be really angry. He hasn't really accepted things yet, so you probably shouldn't flaunt that you've moved on already. Not to mention you're still technically married."

She sighed. Here came the complications. "He has a name and it's Zuko, Toph."

"Please, like I ever call anyone their actual name." Toph flashed her a winning smile, then stood suddenly and bent her rock chair back into the earth. "Come on, let's go find out what Twinkletoes and Lover Boy are doing. I can't wait to see you around both of them when they're actually talking!"

"Lover Boy?" she spluttered indignantly. "Please don't call him that."

Toph grinned. "I'll try."

Katara reluctantly began following Toph back to the palace, hoping desperately she would set up awkward situations just to watch. Why had they even become friends with such a sadist when they first visited the Earth Kingdom all those years ago? "Enough about me," she cut in brightly, "what about you? What's going on in your life? Any boyfriends?" She stumbled over a rock that appeared suddenly and directed a glare at her friend's back.

"Well, I've been thinking about having a kid, now that I have a steady job. Seems like a good time for it," Toph stated matter-of-factly.

A sudden, fierce stab of envy pierced Katara's heart. That should have been her. "With...with who?" she stammered.

Toph shrugged, her quick strides faltering slightly. "I don't know. Someone who's a good bender, maybe. Who's nice. And understands I'm not looking for any commitment."

"You want to have a baby all by yourself?" Katara asked incredulously.

"Why not? I haven't found a job yet I can't do by myself. I can't imagine being a mother is any different. Besides, I don't need a man hanging around me all the time telling me what to do. That could lead to a lot of pain I don't have time for." The undercurrent in her words weighed heavily on Katara- why would Toph want to end up like her? The envy turned to bitterness, not at Toph, but at her own poor life choices.

She clapped a hand on Toph's strong shoulder. "Well, if you do, I'll always be willing to babysit."

The smile Toph gave her was genuine and grateful, this time. "Thanks, Sweetness. I appreciate that." She paused. "I am actually sorry for what's happened with you and Aang, you know. Even though I joke, I know this is hard for you."

"Thanks, Toph," Katara said with relief. Maybe if she understood, she wouldn't make things worse.

Her friend grinned again. "That being said, you better not let your brother catch you with your boyfriend either. I don't think he'd be too happy about you taking up with the prince of our new enemy!"

The air echoed with a smack as Katara slapped her forehead.

"Come on, hurry up, I want to make it to dinner."

Katara squinted at the sun as she hurried after Toph. "Wait, what time is it? I thought I missed dinner."

"Nah, I just needed an excuse to wake you up."

The dining room was, indeed, just filling up for dinner. Katara's stomach rumbled again, reminding her that the little food she'd had was not enough to make up for missing lunch. She stopped just inside the room, mind suddenly filling with panic as she realized she had no idea where to sit now. Should she take her customary place next to Aang?

The man in question caught her attention and waved her over, reluctantly setting her feet in motion. Aang greeted her with a forced smile as she folded herself next to him. Leaning over, he whispered to her, "Everyone thinks we're still together. We have to act like it."

Katara fought the urge to lean away and nodded grimly. _We might need to rethink that plan_ , she thought to herself. She wasn't sure if she would be able to balance keeping up the act of marriage while also making sure Aang knew it was actually over, or if doing both was even possible.

Zuko's eyes caught hers, an expression of concern on his face. She gave him a half smile as the conversation around the table picked back up. As with Aang's meeting table, this was also a large circle, to symbolize the equality of all humankind, no man above any other. Unless you weren't an Air Noble. Katara gave him a half smile and turned to her food, the usual vegetarian fare she hadn't missed while out in the less religiously observant mountains.

"So I've been thinking," began Aang, his hands folded in his lap. The conversation around the large table stilled again. "Now that we can start evacuating people, we need to tell them about the upcoming invasion. And I thought, what better way to break the news to them than at something happy, like a festival? With dancing, of course."

"Do you think that would really soften the blow of telling people they have to leave their homes?" inquired Zuko, his expression mild.

Aang shrugged. "It can't hurt. Besides, everyone can be cheered up by some dancing!" Gyatso chuckled. "So are there any disagreements?" From the table came of chorus of nos, not reallys, and half-hearted shrugs. "Great! We'll have it in two days, then! We can send out notices to all the taverns in town that drinks are on us that night! Or, of course, people can come here." A large grin broke across his face.

Katara elbowed him. "Aang, how are we supposed to set all of this up in two days? Do we have the money for this?" she hissed.

He patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Katara. While you were gone I already started setting some plans in motion."

"But what about the money? Shouldn't we be spending that on, you know, things for the invasion?"

He looked at her, an expression of confusion clouding his grin. "What do you mean? What better place is there to spend money? It's not like we have troops to pay. King Kuei is giving them to us for free."

His wife slumped and crossed her arms. "Okay."

"Oh, that reminds me!" said Sokka in her ear. "You got a letter back from Dad."

"And you only just now thought to tell me?" Katara arched an eyebrow at her brother, who somehow managed to both be a brilliant strategist and amazingly absent-minded at times.

Said brother raised his hands helplessly. "Hey, I had other things on my mind. I do have it with me though." He pulled a wrinkled, albeit unopened letter sealed with the symbol of the Southern Water Tribe out of his belt pouch and handed it to her. Katara held it for a moment, debating if she should open it now, then hastily shoved it into her tunic as she noticed everyone looking at her.

Fortunately, Toph took that moment to begin questioning… well, really more interrogating Zuko about the Fire Nation and their militaries and Katara was able to return to eating without feeling watched. However, before she was able to take more than a bite, the eggplant and noodles filling her mouth, Aang leaned over to her and whispered in her ear once more.

"You wrote your father?"

She chewed for a few moments longer, letting her anger at his tone ebb away with each clenching of her jaw. "Of course I did. He needed to know what was going on as a world leader," she replied pleasantly, a smile never leaving her face.

Aang bit his lip and nodded. "That's true. He's not going to get involved though, is he? I thought we agreed not to ask him for help."

Katara went through the ritual of taking a bite and chewing her annoyance away. _We never agreed to anything except in your head._ "I don't know, I haven't opened his letter yet. Does it really matter, though? If the Earth King is sending troops then you have no reason not to want him to."

Aang's adam's apple bobbed up and down quickly. "Yeah...no reason." He gave a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, and turned away from her. Despite herself, Katara let a small chuckle escape. Was Aang _scared_ of Hakoda? _Well, he should be,_ she thought sourly, _the way he talks about the Water Tribe._

She turned to her brother, who with Suki was telling stories of their children to the earthbender next to them. Katara listened with delight, always happy to hear new stories of her nieces and nephew, although this happened to be one she'd heard before. After the story finished, she nudged him.

"So, Sokka, Zuko and I were going to spar in the morning. You should join, it might be educational on how firebenders fight." From across the table she saw Zuko's face wrinkle in a frown as he caught his name. Aang also overheard and joined in.

"You're sparring with Prince Zuko?" he asked, suspicion drifting across his face. "Why?"

"Yeah, that would be helpful," cut in Sokka thoughtfully before she had a chance to respond, a hand stroking his chin as he briefly ignored his meal, meatless and unsatisfying as it was. "We've talked a lot about troop deployments, but it would be really good to see how the firebenders would fight. On Whale Tail Island we usually didn't get benders, just footsoldiers." He turned to Zuko. "How many of your father's soldiers would you say are benders?"

Zuko's frown eased slightly. "It's kept at about a quarter of the total troops, although they usually form closer to half of the vanguard. I can guarantee you my father's personal guards are all excellent benders."

"But why," interrupted Aang, "are _you_ sparring with him, Katara? Why not an airbender?"

She glanced at him coolly. "I need the practice. I'd like to be able to defend myself when the time comes. Of course, I'm sure if you asked Prince Zuko would be more than happy to spar with you as well another time."

Zuko nodded. "That's true, your Highness. I'd be happy to, I've never trained against an airbender."

"You won't be in harm's way, Katara, you'll be safe. You don't have to worry about defending yourself."

Fury flared up inside her chest. _This is not the place, Katara. Easy._ "It never hurts to be prepared."

With a sigh, he settled back onto his heels. "I guess so. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Gritting her teeth, she managed to still sound calm. "Trust me, I can handle myself against him. Anyway, it's just sparring, not a real fight."

"I wouldn't hurt her, your Highness." Zuko's face was deadly serious.

She couldn't help it; she snorted. "As if you could, firebender."

Toph snickered next to Zuko, who smirked at Katara, increasing the thrumming in her chest.

Aang sighed heavily, tearing her attention away from those golden eyes. "If you think that's best."

"Great!" Sokka exclaimed. "I can't wait to watch. Make sure to fight like the Fire Lord's soldiers, that will help a lot."

"That won't be hard, I trained with them for a long time."

Katara closed her eyes and let the conversation drift around her, longing suddenly for the comfort of her bed, possibly with a warm firebender wrapped around her. A yawn split her face as she excused herself, saying her nap had not been enough sleep.

She allowed herself one lonely glance at Zuko, whose lids lowered in a silent acknowledgement of her desire. But she knew he wouldn't act on it; too many people were here. Besides, if he showed up to her door, she would send him away. Now wasn't the right time, not when her feelings for him were still so tangled, not with a not-quite-ex husband so near.

Collapsing into her pillow after a quiet, lonely walk down the halls, Katara let the weariness swallow her, some small part of her wishing that, no matter how comfortable her featherbed was, they had just stayed out in the wilderness under the stars.

* * *

Katara swallowed, trying to moisten her desiccated throat, her friends calling encouragement as she stared at a shirtless Zuko on the other side of the sand-filled training area. _What the hell did I get myself into?_

* * *

A/N: Oh hello there! I know it's been a while, sorry! Work has been hellish. Actually, I had most of this written quite some time ago, but I wasn't sure how to end it. So here you go.

I noticed that my little story has gained quite a few followers since I last posted! Thanks for the encouragement. I would love to hear from all of you, so please leave reviews! How did I do with Toph? Were you guys happy to see other characters again? How's the pacing? If you have any questions, I may also answer them.

Also! I made my best friend a waterbender costume! You guys should check it out. It's on my costuming blog at cosmiccostumes. wordpress. com slash blog (no spaces, thanks for deleting anything that looks like a link ff :P). I had a lot of fun doing it.


	18. Chapter 18: A Duel Most Magnificent

**Chapter 18: A Duel Most Magnificent**

The sun had set long after she'd returned to her bed that night, the lengthy evening a reminder that the soft days of spring were stretching into summer. She knew at the South Pole, at home, the nights would be growing longer and her people preparing for the endless night of midwinter. Sighing, she removed her father's letter from her sash, the blue Water Tribe seal standing out under her fingers. She ran a finger across it, procrastinating opening the letter. Then, finally, she cracked the wax and unfolded the letter, her eyes skimming Hakoda's bold handwriting.

 _Katara_

 _By the time you receive this, my men and I will be on our way with twenty ships. I'm sorry to hear about you and Aang. You are always welcome to come home._

 _Dad_

Her lips turned up involuntarily. Her dad would come to help! And he wanted her to know the South Pole was still her home. The power of the rising moon tugged at her sense of relief, filling her with a sudden restless energy. She clambered out of bed and moved to her window, curling up on the sill and watching the nearly full moon climb to its zenith as the twilight became night. Eventually, she drifted off into dreams of being home, curled up in furs as her dad told a story.

She snapped awake the next morning, her neck stiff from leaning against her window all night. Katara noted with distaste that it was well past dawn and she wouldn't have much time before her scheduled spar. Groaning, the stiff waterbender forced herself to stand up, rising into the beginning of a loosening set of stretches. _I must be getting old_ , Katara reflected wryly. The stretches, while not able to rid her of all the aches and pains from sleeping sitting up, did leave her feeling more confident that she would be able to bend. Feeling as stretched as she was likely to get, she yawned and headed to her closet, drawing out a comfortable blue cotton tunic and leggings.

Katara quickly downed a cup of the tea Liu had left out for her in the sitting room, recently by the not-yet-cool temperature of it, and wolfed down a rice cake and fruit. Taking several deep breaths to settle her nerves, she gathered up her confidence and marched out the door to the sparring area.

There was already a small crowd sitting in the grass around the sunken sand enclosure. Sokka, also wearing blue, jumped up and cheered loudly. Katara grinned at him, feeling better already, as there was no way Zuko had such enthusiastic cheerleaders. Aang, seated next to Sokka, frowned at his brother-in-law's antics, his face showing clear disapproval of the entire show.

Katara hurried into the preparation area, rooms underground at the same level as the sand pit for trainees to change or wash after a class. She hadn't decided if she wanted to run into Zuko before they began sparring. It would probably only make her nervous, because he was always so damn cocky. Well, she would show him. She had seen him bend enough to know his tricks and, while she didn't know if he was a master, she knew _she_ was. An image crossed her mind of the times she'd seen Zuko training… he always trained shirtless, which Katara found immensely distracting. A wicked smile crossed her face. Of course, he hadn't seen her train much. And while she rarely did this around other people, it _was_ easier to bend without the constricting confines of clothing.

Giggling, she stripped to her bindings and folded her clothing neatly on a stone bench, leaving her tunic wrapped loosely around her as a robe for the time being. A flustered acolyte dashed in, dropping her eyes as she saw Katara. "Uh, ma'am? The Prince.. The prince is waiting on you," she stuttered, dashing off as quickly as the wind she bent.

Breathe in, breathe out, letting the anxiety flow out with your breath. This was just sparring. There was no competition.

But she would win anyway.

The sun made her blink as she emerged from the cool stone room into the training area, sand sinking beneath her bare feet. There were six water barrels evenly spaced around the edge of the rectangle, she observed, quickly drawing from the nearest to bend a ring around her as Zuko jumped down into the sand. As she had expected, he was shirtless. Katara eyed him appreciatively, particularly enjoying the surprised look on his face as he took in her state of undress.

"You ready for this?" she taunted.

Zuko took a firebending stance. "Are you?" Suddenly he brought a foot around in a long arc, slinging fire at her. Katara smiled as she easily bent a matching arc of water, the two meeting with a hiss. She continued the circle, pulling her stream of water around with her, then sending it at his feet, freezing it in a slick of ice.

Firebending, while not as rooted as earthbending, depended as much on the stance as the forms, and Katara's limited experience told her if she could make him lose his balance, she could beat him. He wouldn't have the adaptability of a waterbender. So when he quickly regained his balance and began directing flame at the ice beneath him, she grabbed more water from another barrel, a long tentacle that lashed around his foot and pulled it forward. Distracted by melting the ice, she easily threw him off balance and he landed flat on his back, bringing a cheer from Sokka.

She ran in closer, taking advantage of his current predicament. But faster than she would have believed, he rolled onto his stomach and swung his legs around, throwing fire at her and simultaneously regaining his stance. Katara had to block the blast, more of her water hissing to steam.

"Nice try," he smirked, hands raised once more.

The waterbender shrugged, forming her water into an octopus around her, making sure to move her hips more than was strictly necessary. The frozen tips of tentacles began flying towards him. "It was worth it," she called as he dodged her icy missiles, blocking some with controlled sweeps of flame. She belatedly realized he had been steadily closing the distance between them as he dodged until he was only a few feet away from her. Close combat would definitely give the larger, stronger opponent an advantage. She quickly raised a ramp of ice between them and surfed up it, vaulting over his head and landing behind him, collecting water from the air and the barrels with a graceful sweep of her arms. That water rushed towards him, pinning him face first against her ramp, where she froze him.

"Do you yield?"

The ice began to glow orange and shattered, Zuko turning to face her with fists of flame. "Of course not."

So the duel continued. Zuko was faster and stronger than her, but he relied heavily on the katas she had seen him do many times, giving her the tactical advantage. She was able to be creative, surprising him with attacks he most likely hadn't seen a waterbender use before. In fact, she wasn't entirely sure if he'd ever fought one in a duel before, based on his occasionally slow reactions to her attacks. However, he was intelligent enough to adapt, and soon Katara found herself fighting harder than she ever had to keep him from swarming her and getting within hand-to-hand range.

Gradually they both began to slow, even though the noon sun was lending Zuko extra strength. They had reached a routine, having run out of energy for the more creative attacks. Each having claimed a side of the sandy area, Zuko would launch an attack from afar, which Katara would either dodge or counter. She varied between using liquid water and ice; the ice was faster and more resistant to fire, but she also didn't want to injure him, only make him yield.

After she had tried again to pull him off balance, they began to banter. "I know what you're doing," he taunted.

"At least I have a strategy," she shot back, enjoying the adrenaline rush of their jeering.

"Oh, I have a strategy," he assured her, sending a lazy firewhip towards her.

"Doesn't seem like much of one to me. I'm getting bored," Katara remarked, tossing her hair as she eliminated his whip with one of her one. It wasn't true. Countering his easy attacks left her that much more thought to devote to how enticing he looked in the light of sun and flame, sweat and her water glistening on his pale skin.

He must have noticed her momentary distraction, for he dashed forward and slammed his fists to the ground, raising a ring of fire around both of them that slowly grew tighter, forcing Katara forwards. She looked fearfully over her shoulder at the orange flames, flickering, hungry to burn, as she stumbled forwards. "Bastard," she swore under her breath, "that's a waterbending move." For it was, in fact, one of the standard actions for the men of the Northern Tribe, who were trained in melee fighting, as a way to separate opponents and take them down individually. Katara had had more than one of them try it on her when she had trained there, although when the ring was water she had no trouble breaking free. When it was fire, and she was trapped with no water…

Her mind worked quickly to find a way out as Zuko continued to draw the circle tighter, one corner of his mouth lifted in what was surely an arrogant smirk. She wondered if he realized that particular facial expression was sure to make her _not_ concede. Thinking fast, she ran towards him suddenly, pulling the sweat off of both of them with a flick of her wrist. Added to the globe of water she had with her, it would be enough.

Katara pushed the water towards him, snapping out in a long snake that wrapped around his lower legs. Turning to face the ring of fire, she used her momentum to pull the water back with all her might. She completed her turn to find that her tactic had finally worked, the last mighty effort rewarded with Zuko falling on his rear, the fire bursting into a large puff of smoke. A giggle escaped her for the briefest of moments before she finished pulling the water back to her, bending most of it into a long slide.

At Zuko's side before he regained his wind, Katara froze her little remaining water into a sharp blade and held it to his throat, staring down into those golden eyes. For a moment, she thought she saw a sudden flash of fear, but it passed, replaced with a deep laugh. "You win."

Stealing a glance upwards and seeing their audience still concealed by smoke, Katara risked a quick kiss. "Thank you," she murmured softly.

His hand grasped her forearm, still holding the ice to his neck. It shocked her with its strength. "I could still take you, you know," he replied, just as softly.

"There's always next time." She grinned and rocked back on her heels just as Aang fluttered into the pit, clearing the smoke with a wave of his hands. Katara breathed the cool, fresh air deeply, grateful to no longer be breathing smoke.

"Is it over? Did you win?" Aang asked, looking between the two of them.

Zuko struggled to his feet and bowed, a proper Fire Nation Prince. "Yes, Lama. She is a formidable foe."

"Woo! Go Katara!" Sokka waved his hands above his head like she might not notice him cheering. She rolled her eyes and waved back, a little sheepishly.

"So, um," Aang continued, his eyes still flickering between the two of them, "I guess go change for lunch?"

They both nodded and Katara headed back to the preparation rooms, hoping one of the acolytes would have left a basin of clean water for her. At the very least, she would be decently clothed before returning to the palace. She entered, surprised to notice Zuko had followed her. "My clothes are in here, too," he said with a shrug.

"Ah." She nodded and sank gratefully onto one of the stone benches, leaning against the cool wall. "That was good."

"Yes. You're… a difficult opponent." He eyed her appreciatively.

She rose, standing toe-to-toe with him. Although he was quite a bit taller than him, she met his eyes fiercely. "You're damn right I am. Don't forget it."

Zuko pushed her roughly against the stone wall and covered her mouth with his own, tasting of sweat and ash. His hot hands began searching her bindings below.

"What are you doing?" she gasped as he pulled away briefly.

"Giving you your prize," was his brief response as he pulled her leg around her waist and reached a hand inside her bindings, one finger plunging deep inside her as he swallowed her moan with his mouth. The sudden shock of him inside her felt like dodging his attacks once more.

As he moved his tongue to her bare shoulder, biting hard enough to send pain racing down her spine, Katara panted, "This feels more like a rematch."

Her back arched against the cold stone wall as he pushed his hips forward, trapping his hand between them. "And if it is?"

Her hips gyrated, sending his finger to new and interesting places. "Then you are on," she breathed, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. Her leg clenched, pulling him closer towards her. As she maneuvered him, he slipped a second finger into her. Hips thrusting, she found his shoulder with her mouth and bit, hard, to muffle the moan that wanted to escape her.

She heard his sharp intake of breath and knew she had probably bruised him, but she didn't care. If she was too loud, someone might find them. She could always fix it after. The thoughts flickered through her mind, moths in the overwhelming light of her arousal, minor compared to the intense need filling her. By an unspoken agreement, Katara and Zuko had barely touched each other since his drunken declaration of love. Even before that, their days had been so routine and tiring that there had only been the occasional tryst.

In short, it had been far too long.

Already aroused from watching him bend, shirtless, all morning, it didn't take long for Katara to break, the lone leg holding her weight giving out as her inner muscles spasmed. Zuko caught her with his free hand, cupping her under the buttocks and pressing her further against the wall as once again bit down on his muscular shoulder. She sagged, releasing his shoulder and panting, "You win the rematch."

He kissed her again, biting at her lower lip affectionately and releasing her legs. Moving to her ear, he sucked on the lobe, a shudder traveling down Katara's spine. "Now do I get my prize?" His breath tickled her ear.

Nodding, she breathed, "Of course. What do you want?"

Pulling away from her slightly, he cupped her face, his eyes searching hers. "Tell me there's something here."

Sighing, she closed her eyes. Oh. That was not what she had expected. One of his hands absently stroked her side as she took a moment to think, although her post-orgasm haze wasn't allowing her to form coherent thoughts.

Opening her eyes, she placed her hand on the scarred side of his face, her thumb gently brushing the rippled skin underneath his eye. "I'm scared," she admitted hesitantly.

His gaze was a calm ocean. "That's okay."

Her thumb continued to trace the ruined skin of his cheekbone. They were both covered in sweat and sand, smelling of exertion and sex. Her hair was stringy, his damp and plastered to his forehead. A streak of soot marred his beautiful chest. And yet, all she could think was how perfect this was. Them. Together. Firey and passionate, a constant spar that made both of them stronger.

Was this love? Maybe. She didn't feel like she could trust what she thought was love anymore, her senses having betrayed her so rudely in the past. Who was to say her feelings wouldn't change later, like they had with her husband? But she did know for a fact… "I've never felt this strongly about anyone," she breathed.

The words hung in the space between them, suspending time with their honesty. Zuko closed his eyes, his face losing some deep-seated tension Katara hadn't even noticed was there, his cheeks relaxing into something resembling a deep happiness. Finally, he opened his eyes again. "Me too."

Her fingers clenched in his damp hair as she pulled his face to hers, her mouth seeking ownership of him, their tongues meeting in a delicate recreation of their duel. She claimed him thoroughly, savaging his lip and ensuring he would be left with her taste in his mouth. Wanting more of him, she let one hand slide down to his trousers, fighting to undo the ties one handed. Giving up, she merely reached inside, caressing the form, rounded muscles in his buttocks, dragging her fingernails as she moved her hand to the front, where she brushed his very erect member.

Her lips quested for his pulse, sucking there hard enough to leave yet another bruise on his skin, a mark that he was hers. "I'll fix that later," she murmured as her hand descended lower to gently grasp a testicle, eliciting a gasp. She captured it with her lips, sighing into him as her hand moved back up to his cock, folded up towards his belly by the strained fabric of his trousers. She began to stroke it as best she could, her palm running up and down its length. "This would be so much easier if you didn't have pants on," she muttered in frustration, nipping Zuko's chin when he laughed at her.

"Katara?"

Her head whipped around to see Aang, shock and hurt written starkly across his face.

"What are you doing?"

* * *

Ahhh! I have so much to apologize for. My dear readers, I am so sorry for

1\. Taking so long to update! I was being lazy.

2\. This chapter being kind of short

3\. Ending on another cliffhanger! I know it's torture. I'm so very sorry. But come on, you kind of love it, don't you? I think it's a good chapter, at least. I really love being able to include what I think is the true spirit of Zutara, which is the fight for dominance. It's super sexy. There's so much dominance play between them and, while I think Katara is more of a dominant than Zuko, neither would Zuko be a willing submissive. He would totally be a rebellious submissive that Katara would have to break to her will. *nods sagely* It is known. Anyway, end D/S tangent... I really do think their fighting and competition is what makes them such a popular ship. It very easily lends itself to a lot of passion.

So, lovely readers (including all my new followers! Hi!), what did you think? What do you think will happen next? Mwahaha.

Oh, side note, I have reached 50k words! Woohoo! I kind of never thought I would ever write something this long. I am proud of me.


	19. Chapter 19: Confiteor

**Chapter 19: Confiteor**

Zuko jumped away so quickly it was as if he'd been shocked. His erection visible through the thin fabric of his trousers, he opened his mouth, probably to stammer out some sort of apology, but Katara held up a hand to silence him.

"Aang, I'm doing exactly what it looks like I'm doing. Zuko and I were enjoying each others' company." She kept her voice controlled, calm. Perhaps if she kept things calm he would understand.

"You mean committing adultery." Aang's voice was hard.

Katara swallowed against a rising surge of panic. "If you report us for adultery, we'll both be publicly whipped. We could even be exiled. Neither of us deserve that, Aang. You know we don't," she pleaded.

"Do I?" Aang challenged. "Maybe you should be whipped. The punishment exists for a reason and I'm the embodiment of the law."

"We don't deserve it because this isn't adultery, Aang, or have you forgotten the all-important fact that we are not together anymore?"

His face darkened. "How could you do this to me?"

Her hands crossed across her breasts, still half-bare in her bindings. "What do you mean, how could I? We already had this conversation! I left-"

"Not you," he cut in. "You." Aang pointed at Zuko. "Prince Zuko. I thought you were supposed to be honorable. You come here to help me and then you steal my wife? How could you?" His voice grew venomous, the words spat. "Did you really even come here to help, or did you come here to undermine me?" His brows drew together, a sudden breeze whipping the ends of Katara's hair. "Do you even care about her? You know she's mine!"

Katara saw Zuko's fists clench at his side and caught a brief glimpse of a possible future. The Lama and the Prince battling, fire and air, destroying the fragile alliance that gave their nation hope, all because of her. Stepping in front of Zuko, she stretched out her hands placatingly.

"Aang, no. This was my decision. He didn't take me from you, I swear." The air writhed around her, matching the storm on Aang's face. She swallowed, a trickle of fear creeping down her spine. The last time she had seen him angry enough to let his emotions affect his bending… it hadn't ended well. "If you need to blame someone, blame me. But we both know I'm not yours to have anymore. You need to be rational about this. Please, Aang, just listen to me."

Aang shoved, a blast of air moving her out of his way. "Stay out of this, Katara. This is between me and the supposedly honorable Prince." Fists raised, he stalked towards Zuko, directing another blast at the now revealed man, who dropped to a fighting stance and weathered the gust, eyes sparking.

"You're a fool," Zuko growled. "You don't know how to run your country and you don't know how to love Katara. And if you think you're going to take me, go ahead and try. You don't scare me." His hands moved to the start of a form, waiting for Aang to strike once more.

Katara, her back throbbing from hitting the wall, brushed strands of hair out of her mouth and struggled to a stand, her legs screaming at her to sit back down, to escape and rest somewhere where the ridiculous men she loved wouldn't have to be dealt with. Hurrying, she inserted herself between the two, arms outstretched. "What the _fuck_ is wrong with both of you?" she cried, turning her glare on both of them in turn. "You are adults, not hormone-laden teenagers! Grow up and act like it! Why do I put up with either of you? I swear I am fucking tired of being the only one with sense!" And she was. She was so, so tired of being the one who was reasonable, who held everything together, the fixer, the compromise finder. She was _done_.

Zuko, to his credit, looked slightly ashamed, but not enough to stray from his stance. Cursing under her breath, Katara called water to her and threw it at both of them, freezing them to opposite walls before they had time to react. "Both of you need to stop, right now!" she screamed at them. "I am not some _thing_ to fight over. Neither of you own me! She paced the room, rounding on Aang. "You! I told you weeks ago we were done. I have moved on and you need to get used to that. If you have me punished for that, then you are not the good person you think you are."

She kept walking, shaking a finger in Zuko's face. "And you! Let me fight my own battles! You know I'm capable of it, so let me do it! I didn't stick around when _he_ wouldn't let me, so what makes you think you're any different?" Zuko hung his head, biting at his lip nervously, but was silent.

Breathe in, breathe out. Release the anger into the air. The exhaustion returned with the exhale, a bone-deep weariness. "If you agree not to go for each other's throats like animals, I'll unfreeze you and we can talk, like the adults we are." They both nodded, Zuko now sheepish, Aang's brow still knotted. She breathed in and pushed her hands down, releasing them from their icy imprisonment, and sent the water back to its container.

The barest whisper of wind stirred around Katara's ankles as Aang dropped to the floor. "Fine," he snapped. "Let's talk. If he's not to blame, Katara, then tell me why you did this to me." Before she could get a word out, he continued. "No, wait, I know why. I don't even know why I'm surprised, I should have expected something like this from you. You were never fully committed to us, even at the start! You would never give all of yourself, and now you're just continuing to do that. I don't know why I ever thought we would be together forever, that you would always be faithful, when you couldn't commit to our marriage."

The words were a barb, shards of ice that penetrated deep into her heart. She had never been fully committed? Didn't he know she had never not committed to anything in her life? That she always gave everything she could or didn't give anything at all? "You really think that?" she managed to get out. "That I wasn't committed from the start?"

"What else am I supposed to think?" he yelled. "From the beginning all you wanted was to do things your way, even though you knew what marrying me meant! You knew I am a religious figure, but you never wanted to follow the tenets that are so important to me! You constantly question my entire style of life when you should have taken it on yourself. You were never willing to give up anything to be with me, so you left me, and now I see you with _him_ ," he hissed, "and I realize it's because all along you held yourself back, that all this marriage was was a reason for you to have the things you wanted. I had doubts for years but I held them back, telling myself ' _She'll come around, she'll realize how important this is to you'_ , but you never did, Katara! You _always_ left yourself an out!"

Words wouldn't come. For a brief moment, her frantic mind thought she should go back to him, convince him he was wrong, and if he would only give her a second chance she could prove how committed she was. The guilt began to subsume her, wondering if he was right, if she really hadn't been fully committed, and that's why they were in this situation. This was all her fault, if only she'd been a better wife, if only she'd done what he wanted, he had been so patient with her… A hand enfolded hers, the strong fingers gripping her tightly, shocking her back to sense. Her grief must have been evident on her face, for Zuko squeezed her hand even tighter as she glanced at him. She squeezed back, trying to tell him with her eyes she was okay, even as she felt like falling to pieces.

It hurt, but she wasn't going to let this change her mind. If anything, if Aang was able to so fundamentally misunderstand her, then they didn't belong together. Her resolve firmed, she answered him. "You're wrong. I gave you all of me, including my heart, and yet it wasn't enough for you. Nothing I ever did was enough for you. I tried again and again to prove myself, to show you how important you were to me, and every time I made a concession to you I felt a little piece of myself disappear, and yet it still wasn't enough. You weren't happy unless I wasn't myself anymore, unless I changed until I was nothing more than an echo of myself. Why marry me, if you only wanted to change me?" she challenged. "You liked who I was, told me you loved me, and yet somehow I still wasn't enough for you?"

He shrugged, his once-dear face seeming an unfamiliar mask. "I did. I loved you so much, Katara. Then after we got married, everything kept changing. You weren't the same as I thought you were. Before, I felt like you understood me, like the things that were important to me were important to you too. The past few years… it's like you stopped trying."

A derisive snort escaped her. "Well, you try trying again and again at something, thinking you've done a good job, only to be met time and time again with the feeling that you can never measure up to the pedestal version of you your husband imagines. Eventually there's no point anymore; if my best wasn't good enough for you, why try at all?" Katara ran both hands through her hair, pushing it away from her face. "I never kept anything back from you," she stated quietly, trying to hold back the immense sadness. "I loved you so much. All I wanted was to stay Katara, and I don't think you ever loved the real Katara. You loved the ideal me, the one I could never measure up to, and every time I wasn't kind enough, or ate meat, or advocated a less-than-pacifist solution, I failed to be her. I have felt like a failure, like a _bad person_ for years and now you would deny me the right to be with someone who doesn't make me feel that way? If you ever cared about me, don't do this to me."

The furrows in Aang's brow gradually relaxed. He shook his head, started to stay something, fell silent, then started again. "You're wrong. I wasn't putting you on a pedestal, I just saw all that you could be, and I wanted you to be that. Is that so terrible?" He looked at her, eyes big and pleading. "Am I such a monster? I never wanted you to lose yourself. I just needed to know that you wanted to travel the path of becoming a better person with me. The more I felt that wasn't what you wanted, the harder I tried to pull you with me. I am sorry for that," he added softly.

"Our paths are not the same, I guess, Aang. What you think I need to be is something I'm not."

"I can try to do better," he pleaded. "I won't try to make you a better person anymore, I promise."

She shook her head slowly. "No, Aang. You won't. It's in your nature, that's why you're so good for this nation. They need you, but it's not what I need. I've moved on and so should you."

Aang spread his hands in a gesture of frustrated resignation. "Okay, fine, I get it, you don't like how I treated you. But how, by the spirits, did you decide you needed _him_? I guess I can understand you having issues, but I will never understand why you let him seduce you and convince you to leave me."

Zuko started forward, mouth opening to say something angry, no doubt, but Katara blocked him with an arm. She was tired. So, so tired. Of course when she worked herself harder than she had in months this had to happen. "Do you want the truth?"

Her husband eyed her warily. "Yes. I think."

Katara ran her hands through her hair again, pushing it away from her face. "Fine. Then, the truth is, I wanted sex. I was lonely and desperate and Zuko was… _is_ a willing partner. As it turned out, we enjoy each other's company as well."

He gaped at her, mouth opening and closing several times. "You… you wanted _sex_? So you got it from _him_?" he finally managed to splutter.

"Yes," she stated, her emotions numb. This wasn't something she particularly wanted to talk about in front of Zuko, but, hell, none of this had been.

"But… we have sex!"

"We had sex one week out of the year. You can't possibly tell me that is enough for you. Don't you ever have any urges? Or are you too perfect?" She couldn't resist wounding him, a little, and felt a numb sort of perverse glee when she saw him wince.

"Well, no, I mean, yes, I felt urges, but it was important to me to stay pure. See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. How can you possibly say you were committed when you were so desperate to break the traditions of my people that you committed adultery to do it?"

Her jaw clenched of its own accord. "I stayed faithful for eight long, long years, Aang. This is what I'm talking about! This one thing I wanted from you, but your traditions were more important." She shook her head sadly. "We have never been able to get past this. I have never been able to be the Air Noble you want me to be, and you are always going to see that as me being untrue. Please." Looking up, she met his gaze, his gray eyes searching for something in her. "I loved you, so very much. But it's over. Can we both accept that? We are going in circles. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Please, don't make it where I can't stand to be around you."

She watched the anger flash across his face as he broke his gaze, glaring off to the side. "I forgive you, Katara," he said finally, his shoulders drooping. "But I don't want him staying in my palace anymore, and after we announce the divorce, I don't think I want you there either. I'll give him until after the beginning of the festival tomorrow to get out."

Leave the palace? But that was her home! She probably deserved it, but… where would she go? Katara stared after him, shocked, as he spun and exited the stone room. "Wait!" she called after him.

He strode back to the doorway, barely visible in the shadows. "What, Katara?" His voice was laden, heaviness weighing his tongue.

"Why did you come in here, in the beginning?" she asked, her voice timid.

"To tell you that we were waiting on you for lunch." With that he was gone, his voice but an echo.

Her knees buckled and she sank to the floor. Zuko quickly knelt beside her, concern written across his features. "Are you alright?"

Her head shook again. "No. I'm not." Her voice was dull and flat. Emotion was too hard, too painful. She didn't have the energy anymore.

Zuko reached out a tentative arm, resting it on her weary shoulders, and pulled her to him. At the display of affection, the feeling that this was a safe place, her emotions rushed back in a flood as if she had bent them. A soft wail escaped her, tears fighting their way free. She sobbed uncontrollably, gasping for air that felt as if it had been punched out of her.

"What's wrong?" She heard the alarm in his voice, but could do nothing to soothe it, nothing but shake her head repeatedly, the cries coming in bursts. His hands grasped her face and pulled it up to look at him, his golden eyes urgent. "Listen to me. This is a good thing. Now he knows, and it's over with, and nothing really bad happened. And now he knows how you feel. This was a good thing, Katara. Everything will be okay."

She tried futilely to shake her head again, trapped by his fingers. Tears still dripping down her face, she managed to take a shaky breath. "You don't understand."

His fingers tried to wipe away her tears as he gazed at her even more earnestly. "Then tell me. Please tell me. Let me help you!"

"My whole marriage was a sham, this whole time!" she wept. "And now even my home is being taken from me!"

Some of the tension left Zuko's body and he pulled her to him again, stroking her back in slow circles. "Oh. Look, don't worry about that. You can come stay at The Winking Shirshu with me, where I was before, my friend is cool, you'll like her." He was rambling to try to distract her, she realized. He talked for a few minutes about the inn owner, how she used to be a bounty hunter but had decided to settle down and run her favorite type of bar a few years ago, how Katara would probably think she was a little rough but he swore she had a heart of gold. She gradually composed herself, taking deep, shuddering breaths until her emotions were under control once more. Feeling less like an explosion about to happen, she rocked back on her heels, wiping at her face.

"Hey, Katara," Zuko said softly. "Look at me." She did, taking in the worry on his face, the scar angrier than usual. "You marriage wasn't a sham." She started to ask him how he could even say that, but he continued before she could get a word out. "It wasn't. He loves you, a lot, and I know you're not the kind of person who would be with someone that long if you didn't love him, at least at first. Like you told him, it just didn't work out. You weren't right for each other. You needed him to believe that, and now I need you to believe yourself."

Was he right? She had said that, after all, and at the time she thought she had been right, but then Aang had questioned her commitment, her love, her faithfulness, and she had thought maybe she had been deluding herself so that she looked innocent, so that her actions were justified. But… was it true after all? Perhaps they really had just grown apart. She closed her eyes for a moment, reviewing everything she'd said. It was all true. She had given him everything she could without losing herself, and while maybe her recent unfaithfulness hadn't been the right way to handle it (she was ready to accept that guilt), that didn't make the problems leading up to it her fault.

"You're right. Thank you for reminding me," she answered quietly. "It's just hard to accept that after all this time Aang and I could misunderstand each other so much. It hurts, like he betrayed me."

"Yeah. I know."

They sat in quiet contemplation, a matched set of kneeling statues. Finally, some semblance or order and calm restored to her thoughts, along with the determination that she would heal from this hurt and move on, Katara asked nonchalantly, "So, lunch?"

Zuko laughed at that, his laughter as surprising as if he'd attacked her. "Do you think they're still waiting on us?"

She shrugged. "Does it matter? We should still eat. And I know Sokka will find you to talk about the fight no matter what."

He tensed. "The fight, how would he know…?"

Katara snorted softly, her lips curving slightly. "The sparring match."

"Oh, right, of course." He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "This has been a stressful day."

"You're telling me."

"Do you think… now that Aang knows… we should tell them?"

She shrugged again. "If you want, although Toph already knows, and I'm willing to bet Suki figured it out. So… you could tell Sokka."

"Do you want him to know?"

"When has a younger sister ever wanted her brother involved in her sex life?" she sighed. "He won't be mad, I don't think. It's not like you're besmirched my virtue or anything, I did that myself. Look, I'll talk to him, I guess. If you think it's important."

He nodded. "It is good to be honest with those that care about you."

His voice sounded strange, almost as if he was quoting someone. She squinted at him but didn't comment on it. "Okay, then I'll talk to Sokka. At some point. I should probably do it before Aang kicks you out, I guess."

Katara rubbed at her face again, trying to scrub away any evidence of tears, and suddenly made a decision. This was a good thing. She needed Zuko, and she should tell him that. How she really felt. She watched him stand and walk across the room, slinging on his tunic and pulling on his boots.

"Hey, Zuko…" she began hesitantly.

He looked up at her from his boots. "Yeah?"

"I… I love you. Just so you know. I think. I'm a little emotionally ragged right now but yeah, I thought you should know…" Her awkward words trailed off as she watched a real smile break across his face, as shocking and beautiful as a cloudless dawn. What could she do but smile in return, after seeing that? Just like that, the tiniest seed of hope sent a shoot into her heart.

* * *

A/N: I gave you guys an extra long chapter to make up for the last one! Honestly though, I find it waaaay easier to write emotional, verbal fights than physical ones. Gah, I do so love torturing my precious characters.

So at first, this was actually a lot shorter! Aang was a lot less angry, more sad than anything, and then! My fiance was rewatching AtLA, so of course I insisted I had to watch it with him (for like... the tenthish time, probably) and when we got to the episode where Aang finds the sandbenders who stole Appa, I was like, holy shit, Aang totally loses it when he thinks someone has taken something from him! So I deleted what I had and rewrote it with that in mind. Hence the anger and violence towards Zuko, who he initially perceives as having stolen Katara (because of course he does. Brooding bad boy shows up and suddenly she leaves him and is doing it with said brooding bad boy? Obviously he seduced her).

The stuff about commitment was... sigh... sadly inspired by real life events for me. I have been having an argument with my degree advisor because he thought I wasn't committed enough to grad school, when really I just hate my thesis topic/am incapable of working 24/7 without a breakdown. That's mostly cleared up now, but it did inspire some of this and was kind of cathartic to write, actually. I'm not sure what it says about me that I wrote my relationship with my advisor into a failed marriage...? Lol. That being said, my advisor is slightly less (although only slightly) arrogant and stubborn than Aang here, and we've been able to find a compromise that will hopefully work.

Anyway, the fiance and I finished AtLA and started Book 1 of Korra today, and I was reminded all over again how shittily they treated Katara in LoK. I mean, all of her friends get to do cool stuff, and what does Katara do? She gets to be a mom. Not that I have anything against being a mom! SAHMs are awesome and I admire them a lot, because I know I couldn't do it. But that doesn't fit Katara's characterization at all, to me. She's pretty fiercely independent and doesn't let anything stop her from helping people and changing the world. I just don't see her giving that up because she had kids. For heavens' sake, when they were having issues with a freaking bloodbender in Republic City, why would they not call PROBABLY THE ONLY KNOWN BLOODBENDER BESIDES YAKONE WHO LEARNED FROM THE CREATOR OF THE TECHNIQUE to stop him? Ughughughugh. IT MAKES NO SENSE, OK?! Sorry. It just drives me nuts. OK, rant over.

This is a frightfully long author's note, but I wanted to add one more thing. Yes, Jun is the owner of The Winking Shirshu because I love her and after all, she is the Zutara patron saint and yes, the name is a Skyrim reference because I have been replaying that lately and I couldn't resist.

As always, read and review, my darling readers! I hope you enjoy it!


	20. Chapter 20: Dancing

Chapter 20: Dancing Makes Everything Better

Katara was exhausted beyond belief. Her body protested with each trudging step up the hill towards the palace, her emotions still roiling within her. But the pieces of her heart were slowly coming back together as she held on tightly to the hope that perhaps things weren't so dismal after all. Despite the spiritual mauling in the stone room beneath the training field, the burden of years had finally been lifted- Aang finally understood! She wouldn't be whipped! She linked her arm with Zuko's, not an overly friendly gesture from the outside, but enough to make Zuko practically glow, the happiness at stark odds with the glaring scar on his face.

She couldn't fight the dread growing as they reached the palace, however. Where would she go? Zuko's offer was nice, but the thought of leaving her home of eight years was sickening. And most importantly… what would Sokka think? Would he hate her? He wasn't a fan of the Fire Nation, even if he was currently tolerating Zuko. And then there was also this stupid festival tomorrow, to be finished with telling everyone they would also have to leave their homes, then the slog of actually getting everyone to leave and go to the correct places, which she knew would be mostly her responsibility… it was overwhelming. _You can't ever stay happy, Katara_ , she inwardly sniped. _Masochist_.

She sighed and looked up at Zuko, lost in his own, presumably good thoughts as he opened a door for her. At least one of them was in a good mood. _You can do this, Katara. That was the hard part. Hopefully. Sokka loves you, and everything else is not much different from the duties you've had for years. It won't be as bad as you think._

Snagging a bustling servant, she quietly asked where her friends were. Apparently, they were relaxing in a private dining room not far from the great entrance hall. Katara was fond of the room, which she privately called The Cushion Room for its plethora of rugs and cushions. It was a great place to escape and have quiet tea, in her opinion. So at the very least, even if it went badly with Sokka, it would be in a nice room? She giggled a little, drawing a strange look from Zuko.

"Are you okay?" he asked slowly, his brow knit in confusion.

She laughed again, a high-pitched bark. "No, no I'm not. I feel out of my depth and half-deranged. If anything else happens today I may just fall into little pieces."

"But… that went pretty well, I thought. Didn't it?"

They stopped at the closed door to the Cushion Room and Katara leaned her head on his shoulder, reveling in the soothing heat of his body. "Yes, but… it's a lot. I'm tired, and I'm worried about Sokka, and the war, and my dad and his men…" She bolted upright. "Oh spirits, my dad! I forgot to tell everyone he's on his way with ships! I don't even know when he'll get here."

Zuko blanched. "Look, let's just… get through this, and your brother can help you work out the details. He seems good at that." With that, he knocked, dropping Katara's arm.

The door swung open with a thump and a cry of, "Ow, Toph, warn me next time!" Sokka jumped up from being hit by the earthbended door as Toph snickered in the corner. The pair entered to be met with three silent faces, two solemn and one trying to look solemn while also rubbing his head and wincing.

"Um… what's going on?" Katara tried for nonchalant, but wasn't sure she hit it.

Sokka left off rubbing his head and folded his arms across his chest. "We want to know why Aang left when you guys were gone for forever and came back looking very angry only to leave."

She couldn't help it; she looked guiltily at Zuko. Toph snickered again. "I hope you know I'm really struggling not to say I told you so."

"Come on, Katara, what does Toph know that we don't?"

Suki remained silent on her cushion, steaming cup of tea held in her hands.

Scuffing her toes absently into the rug, Katara examined its faded orange pattern. "Um, well. You all know about Aang and I separating." She looked up at Sokka, eyes beseeching. He nodded for her to go on. Was that a smile lurking in the creases at the corner of his eye? The possibility gave her the courage to continue. "Well, when Zuko and I went up north, we, uh, got closer. And Aang found out about that after the sparring and he wasn't very happy," she finished quickly, feeling her face blossom with heat.

"You mean he walked in on you," Toph clarified.

Her face heated up further as she returned her gaze to the floor.

"Walked in on what, exactly?"

"Don't make me say it, Sokka," she pleaded.

Suki placed her tea on the low table in front of her. "So how long have the two of you been sleeping together?"

Guiltily, Katara's eyes jumped to her sister-in-law. She wasn't sure how truthful she should be.

"A while," Zuko answered firmly. "This shouldn't be some sort of trial; neither of us have done anything wrong. We are both adults and we both chose this."

Sokka clasped his hands behind his back and stalked up to Zuko, examining the man closely. They were nearly the same height, but Sokka was broader, a bear instead of a panther. Zuko stood his ground firmly, unflinching, even when Sokka leaned in close to peer at his face. After a few awkward moments, Sokka rocked back on his heels and sighed. "Katara, do you like him? Is he good for you?"

"Y-yes," Katara stammered.

"Then welcome to the group, bro!" Sokka slung an arm around Zuko's shoulders and led him over to the others, Zuko stiff and rigid, clearly unused to this sort of familiar touching. Unsurprising, given what he'd told her about his family. "I learned a long time ago when we were kids," Sokka chatted, "that if I try to run Katara's life she'll just beat me up, so if she thinks you're great, that's good enough for me."

"Thank you?" Zuko looked thoroughly taken aback as he sat, bewildered by the outpouring of affection. Katara giggled a little. Her brother could be a bit much if you weren't used to him. If he was determined to be someone's friend, there was no stopping him.

"So you're not mad?" she asked the room as she curled up next to Suki.

Sokka sighed. "Sis, I can't say I think this is the best decision you've ever made, given what's coming, but I trust you and you trust him, and I can accept that. I just hope your judgement is better now than it was eight years ago." He turned to Zuko. "And I look forward to getting to know you better."

Suki rubbed her shoulder affectionately. "I'm happy for you. You deserve a nice new man to play with."

Toph laughed as Zuko said indignantly, "I'm right here, you know."

She leveled him with a glare. "Don't cross me. I've seen how to beat you."

Katara laughed merrily, another piece of her anxiety lifting as her friends-her people, really, even Zuko-joined in conversation, Zuko relaxing enough to recline and laugh as they discussed the duel that morning. She lay her head on Suki gratefully as the older woman unbraided her messy hair and plaited it again neatly.

"Is Aang okay?" Suki asked her quietly, the other three intent on a loud discussion of how to combat a navy with land forces.

Katara sighed and shrugged. "He's angry. We fought, and he doesn't want to see either of us. I don't know if he'll actually make us leave, but he might. I think… I think he'll be okay, though. He understands better now and maybe that means he can move on. I don't know."

Suki squeezed her again. "I'm so sorry, hun. I know this is your home. Toph will keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't do anything he'd regret."

She sighed with relief. "Thank you. You're the best." Relaxing back into Suki's lap, the gentle tug of Suki's deft hands and the hum of conversation lulled her into a peaceful sleep.

The rest of the day passed in a haze of sleep and tea. Katara was reluctant to leave the room, fearful that Aang might be lurking around a corner, waiting to restart their fight. It was more likely he had flown off somewhere, knowing him, but she didn't want to take the chance. From what she had gathered, the others had made some sort of battle plan based on their duel, then revised it when Katara had remembered to tell everyone that Hakoda was bringing twenty ships. Sokka estimated they would arrive in a couple of weeks or so, given the current winds and when the letter had arrived (some weeks ago, apparently. Sokka was brilliant and usually organized, but it seemed even he could have slips). According to him, the season meant the winds were only favorable as long as the Water Tribe ships went up along the southern coast of the Earth Kingdom, then through Chameleon and Full Moon Bay. It was a good deal longer than coming up the western coast, but Sokka assured them it would be better for the sailing ships. It also conveniently kept them far from Fire Nation waters.

The discussion then, of course, led to a heated argument over whether steam ships or sailing ships were better. Katara personally thought any ship powered by bending would be far better than either, but decided not to bring that up, instead using the opportunity to doze some more.

Eventually, the conversation inevitably turned to this festival tomorrow, and how exactly Aang was planning all of this. Katara stayed silent, despite the questioning looks thrown at her by the others. It wasn't her idea to have this festival, and Aang hadn't approached her for help planning it, so she wasn't going to, and if he was too angry to really do a good job of it, well, it wasn't really her problem anymore, probably. She wondered if he would still expect her to dance with him like he usually did. Back when they were first dating, she had hated dancing- the spectacle, the formality, the expected movements that weren't remotely a part of her culture- but Aang had taught her to like it, even if she didn't love it like he did. Any gathering of airbenders inevitably had dancing. Somehow they all loved it. Maybe he would ignore her and just dance with Toph which was always… well, it was always _something_. It was usually entertaining, at least.

The hours passed with a companionable dinner, still without any sign of Aang. Katara thought he most likely was either out in the city or holed up in his rooms. Both were pretty likely. She was a little worried about him, to tell the truth, even if she wasn't going to express that to anyone. She hoped he understood she hadn't done anything out of a desire to hurt him, even if that had been the end result. He could be very sensitive where she was concerned, and sign of displeasure from her often led to a bad mental state on his part. This time, she feared, it could last long enough to affect the future of his people. Worry led to regret, that perhaps she should have tried harder to smooth things over with him, even though there really wasn't anything else she could have done. Maybe she could have held her temper better, but she doubted that really would have made a difference after he walked in on her and Zuko. _No, you did the right thing. How many times do we have to go over this?_ she berated herself. _If he's unable to handle things because he has to sulk, then you'll just have to pick up the slack. Somehow._ That wasn't exactly fair, as she did understand why he was upset. It was easier, though, to convince herself he was being childish and immature. After all, she had given him several weeks to get used to the idea of her not being with him.

Her silent ruminating did not go unnoticed by the others in the room, who continued to look at her worriedly. Eventually, she had had enough. "Guys, stop looking at me like that. I'm fine," she stated, exasperated.

"How are you going to handle the festival tomorrow?" Toph asked her, point blank.

She shrugged. "I'll get through it. I'll have fun with you guys, and hopefully it'll be a good night." She suddenly felt the moonrise, one night from full, sing along her jangled nerves, her blood rushing to answer the call. Stretching, she faked a yawn. "Speaking of a good night, I should go. We all should, really. Big day tomorrow, and all that."

Climbing to her feet, she bowed to her friends, who also began standing and wishing each other good night. Zuko, who had clearly gotten sleepier after the sunset, blinked at her, but said nothing as he drifted out of the room behind her. He continued to follow her silently all the way to her rooms, although she heard him yawn more than once. She let him, only turning to confront him once they reached her door. "Can I help you?" she asked, a teasing note in her voice.

Zuko rubbed the back of his neck. "Am I not sleeping here? Should I go back to my room?"

The door swung open as she backed in, knowing she was revealing her favorite view of the city down the hill, the moon rising over the eastern side. She waggled a finger invitingly. "Only if you want to actually sleep."

His eyes widened in realization. "Oh. I see."

"We do have unfinished business, after all." She let him get close, then grabbed his tunic and pulled him along, still walking backwards, knowing the path to her bed through the soles of her feet.

He hesitated as they neared her bed. "Not that I'm complaining but… aren't you tired?"

"I was." She beckoned towards her windows. "But the moon. It, well, you know. Wakes me up."

Zuko stifled a yawn. "It puts me to sleep."

She sighed, suddenly irritated. "Fine, whatever, go to sleep then." She tossed her hair and strode off to her restroom, stripping off her clothes as she slammed the door behind her, still the clothes from the duel this morning with sweat now dried in darker patches. With a flip of her hand, she splashed water from a full ewer into a porcelain basin where soap was waiting. At least she could put the urges of the moon to some use, even if it was some minor water bending. She drew up the soapy water around her hand and idly spun a ribbon of water around her arm, marveling at the sleek way it twined around her dusky skin.

Even though the cool touch of water wasn't the same as the kiss of warm skin against hers, it still felt good. In more than just a it-was-nice-to-be-clean sort of way. She continued to run the water around her limbs and torso, maneuvering it delicately so that it brushed her just so, raising goosebumps in the sensitive spots that even her lovers didn't know. The water drew forth a moan as it slipped down her neck and across her breasts, pulling away the salt of dried sweat, her skin gleaming in its wake.

After a while of teasing herself, she could bear it no longer and slid her fingers into her cleft, now warm and pulsing with an entirely different kind of wetness. She slid two fingers up and down on either side of her pearl, biting her lip at the sensation, heightened by the incessant pull, pull, pull of the moon on her blood. Brushing a fingertip over it, she moaned again, her eyes closing in delight. Distantly, some part of her heard the door open slowly as she slid down the cool marble wall to rest on the floor, her curvaceous legs spread across the tile. She ignored it and continued plying her fingers, given over to the need of her body.

As she began to slip a finger inside herself, she absently felt a soft, warm touch on her shoulder. She groaned again, her hand preventing her from thinking consciously, instead feeling that she was imagining it. She felt the gentle press again as it traveled to her clavicle, then, as he shifted to reach her better, she realized with a start it was not her imagination, but Zuko. Her eyes flew open and her hands still as his lips traveled to her breast. "Zuko," she breathed, "I thought that wasn't real."

He looked up at her from his position half-between her legs. Embers smoldered in his gaze. "I heard you, and I couldn't leave you all alone." His mouth returned to her breast. She gasped as his tongue traced the edge of her areola, the need driving her hand back between her legs. She plunged a finger into her depths and began to pump, feeling her slick warmth, the rougher patch on the front wall, the strength of her inner muscles as they grasped at the intruder in their midst. She relished in the dual sensations of her cool hand and Zuko's warm mouth at her chest as he savored the taste of her skin.

The flood of sensations spilled over her- it was an irresistible tide, an overwhelming ocean. The moon, her hand, the slippery warmth of her, the tongue tracing loops, the hard tile beneath her… she broke beneath its force, coming hard, her back arching, arching until she reached her apex, then falling, her hips thumping against the floor. She panted in long gasps.

Zuko stretched out on the floor and rested his head on her thigh, giving her the contented look of a cat who has just caught its prey. The rough skin of his scar rubbed pleasantly against her skin. "Thank you, for the help," she murmured.

He peered at her through his good eye. "You're welcome." He made no attempt to stifle the yawn this time. "Now can I go to sleep?"

She threw back her head and laughed, then kissed him. "Yes, go to sleep. But don't wake me up in the morning."

He stood, panther-like, and bowed. "Yes, ma'am."

* * *

True to his word, when Katara awoke the next morning, there was no sign of Zuko. She stretched and noted that the sun was already high in the sky. As usual, she had slept later than she intended. But maybe that meant she didn't have to be involved in the preparations for this stupid festival, which she was already dreading. At least she would get to wear a nice gown, a rare experience. In fact, she already had one in mind.

Deciding she didn't need to wait for her maid, she went to her closet and began rifling through her clothing. Shortly, she found what she wanted and began gathering layers of silk into her arms, visualizing what it would look like all together. The outermost layer would be navy, with wide, square-bottom sleeves and a gold belt with an embroidered end that hung almost to her toes to match the cuffs of the robe. She chose a full golden skirt to wear beneath it, the pleats of silk forming soft, shining ripples as she tossed it across her arms. Beneath it all, she decided, would be an under-robe of ivory gauze, to peak out from the neckline of the gown.

Piling it all together on her bed, she eyed it in satisfaction. Not for her were the simple robes of her monk-like husband, although even those were saffron-dyed silk. No, as much as she enjoyed fighting and leading a country, she would never shy away from an opportunity to wear an elaborate silk robe. There something about the sheer decadence of it that delighted her. And anyway, if she had to leave the palace, she was going to go out in style.

At long last, she pulled the rope that would summon her maid Liu the ever-punctual, who had likely been waiting on her since sunrise. She felt a touch of guilt at that, but waved it away. Today she deserved some pampering, and by the spirits, she was going to have it. First, she decided, she would have Liu ask Toph and Suki to join her in the women's baths after she ate, then she would ask one of the healers for a massage to work out the kinks of sleeping in her windowsill night before last, which had only been compounded by taxing her muscles more than they were used to yesterday.

She continued to muse on the ways she would relax that day as she ate the fruit Liu had brought, accompanied by a good pot of tea. Afterwards, she donned a light robe and headed towards the baths, part of her wondering where exactly Zuko had gone, and what he planned to spend his time doing today. He had probably found Sokka, she decided, and was going over more plans. Or something like that. One of her friends would probably know.

"You look good," remarked Suki as they met at the entrance to the baths, warm steam wafting out of the archway.

"Good night's sleep does a world of wonders," Katara replied, realizing that it was true. Sleeping without the weight of her secret had done a world of difference, even if everything wasn't perfect yet.

Toph stomped in with her usual bluster, hair askew. "Yeah, yeah, let's just get this over with. I will never understand why you feel the need to soak in water when you could be soaking in nice hot mud."

"Toph, I've told you a hundred times, we don't have the right mud around here for that," Katara complained. Toph was insistent that the spas in Ba Sing Se were vastly superior to anything the Air Temples had to offer, despite the acolytes' skill in manipulating both one's muscles and chi. Serving others in the temples as healers was often one of the last steps before they took their final vows, a way to recuperate from the years of required travel, while still serving the public. Of course, Katara privately thought there was no beating a true waterbending healer, but the airbenders knew what they were doing. And she couldn't very well massage herself; it just wasn't the same.

The next few hours passed much as Katara imagined they would, including a truly glorious massage by a shy young woman who had chosen to keep her entire head shaven. Her skilled hands worked Katara's oiled skin all over her body, erasing knots of tension she hadn't even realized were there. She could feel her chi uncoiling, the energy returning to a harmonious flow undisturbed by unpleasant emotions for the moment. When it was over, she thanked the girl profusely, who blushed up to her non-existent hairline.

At last, the women decided it was time to go their separate ways and begin dressing, which for Katara would involve having her hair plaited in an elaborate series of braids, intermingled with beads, in a traditional Air Noble style. She liked this tradition, as it had always struck her as a little bit Water Tribe, even if they would have done it slightly differently. Still, she took her comfort where she could.

As she sat in a chair in her suite, several maids plaiting her hair, one applying light touches of makeup, her thoughts drifted to the aftermath of tonight. What would tomorrow be like? Would the people panic? She didn't think so, as the Air people were inherently nomadic, even if they had stayed in one place long enough to build a city. There would, inevitably, be some who would complain, but she thought the majority of them would understand why they were being asked to sacrifice, another trait she often bitterly thought was inborn. She supposed when you had been raised from birth that material things weren't important, it was easy to give them up. An admirable line of thinking, really, and one that she tried to emulate. She was a practitioner, after all, even if she wasn't as devout as the Lama's wife really should be. The teachings of the Ocean and Moon spirits were similar in some ways; that stuff was not important, as it could be taken away in an instant. Family, and by extension, tribe, were what was important, for this could never be taken from oneself. Even though she occasionally indulged her materialistic side, like she was doing now, she knew that as long as she had her family, she would only regret the loss of her beautiful things for a brief instant.

So what was a move somewhere else? She would still be near the people she loved, nearer, indeed, than she had been for several lonely years. Perhaps tonight could be her farewell to the stuff she didn't need, a reminder that it wasn't truly important for her to be happy. A good reminder, too, for the war about to come. She hoped that it would help others through the next few months-maybe she could suggest Aang bring it up in his speech, how sacrifice was necessary but their community would remain intact.

Before she realized it, the sun was nearly setting and it was time for her to don the attire she had haphazardly laid out hours earlier. She wrapped the gauzy chemise around herself, tying it closed behind her back, then pulled the many-pleated skirt over her head, which fell to her waist with a satisfying rustle. Finally, she pulled on the navy robe, carefully folding back the long edge of each sleeve to show the red and gold embroidery on the underside, while also shortening the sleeves enough so that she could use her hands. She wrapped the calf-length narrow skirt, slit at the side to reveal the gold pleats beneath, around her waist, right to left, fastening the fabric tie at her hip as Liu fastened the elaborate sash around her waist. She had always liked this sash, which had an embroidered motif of cranes and delicate blossoms rising out of reeds embroidered down near her feet.

She surveyed herself in the mirror, pleased with her appearance. Her hair was now in an intricate crown around her head, with multiple strands of beads hanging from just above her forehead and going to either ear, mimicking the look of her hair parted in the center. The gown was stunning, the gold bringing a glow to her skin while the blue echoed the color of her eyes. Perhaps she was being vain, but she enjoyed the thought of the effect she would have on the crowd, particularly Zuko. It wasn't often that she truly felt stunning, but right now, she did.

Liu fussed over her briefly, adjusting the edges of her collar, smoothing aside a rogue pleat, when there was a knock at her door. Her maid hurried to answer it as Katara fastened a strand of beads more securely out of her eyes. To her surprise, it was Aang, clad in the more formal version of his robes and wearing his medallion of office. He bowed to her, face grave.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

"I didn't realize you were going to escort me, after everything," she answered with surprise.

He shrugged. "You're still half of the ruling pair. It could be disquieting if we don't come in together."

Nodding, she took his arm and they started off. "Er… thank you," she started, "for being polite about everything."

He gazed down at her, his walk slowing slightly. "I should be the one thanking you. All these years, I was so attached to you. But now you have given me the clarity to see what must be done, to let go of my attachments." Surprisingly, he smiled at her. "And now I think you've given me the key to win this war on my terms."

Stunned into silence, Katara spluttered for a few seconds. "What?" she finally managed. "What do you mean?"

He continued to smile, a dignified gesture far different from the childlike grin she was used to seeing on his face, and shook his head. "We don't have time, we're here."

Indeed, they were. The airbending-locked stone door of the Lama's private entrance to the largest hall in the palace stood before them. Aang sent a blast of air wafting toward the lock, which promptly opened, revealing an already mostly full ballroom. Katara marveled at the transformations Aang had put into place so quickly; swags of yellow-and-orange fabric hung from the walls above tables filled with Air Noble cuisine, while the dais they were about to walk onto was surrounded by sand mandalas intricately laid by monks.

The people began cheering as they exited onto the low, broad dais, which Katara quickly realized had been left clear as the dancing floor. Musicians started a traditional tune, one she had danced to with Aang many times before.

"One dance, and I'll leave you alone," he whispered in her ear. She nodded, hating the sensation of having so many eyes about to watch her every move. But she could do it, one last time. This was her swan song, in a way, at least as far as public appearances went.

They bowed to each other, then clasped hands and began to dance. It was a graceful dance, full of twirling that imitated the circular forms so prominent in airbending, and involved very little touching. Thankfully, Katara knew it well, and also knew it was short. Just like that, it was over. There was something symbolic about it, she thought, a sort of official farewell. Maybe they both needed this.

She smiled sadly at Aang, who bowed to her, and they went their separate ways: Aang to talk to important people, and Katara to find her friends, who, she discovered, were enjoying the fine Air Noble dining.

More people crowded onto the dais for dancing, now that the festival had officially begun. Airbenders rarely drank, but they were quite raucous partiers nonetheless. Fortunately, there was sweet wine available for those who wanted it, and Katara accepted a glass gratefully from a passing servant, holding the chilled glass to her forehead with a sigh.

"Hey," Zuko greeted her quietly from the outskirts of the group, who were engaged talking to several others about preparing the city's defenses. "Feeling okay?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Just don't like dancing in front of everyone. Where have you been all day?" She was disappointed that he didn't have as much of a reaction to her attire as she had hoped. Then again, he was probably used to all sorts of finery at the much more formal Fire Nation court. He was, she noticed, wearing the same formal armor he'd been wearing when he first introduced himself at the palace. It made him look… more intimidating. More Fire Nation. She didn't really like it, as it reminded her that Crown Prince Zuko was practically an unknown person to her.

He shrugged. "Here and there. Moving my things." Apparently he was feeling laconic. She narrowed her eyes at him, annoyed. Weren't they past this stage?

Under the weight of her gaze, he relented, holding up his hands. "I hate these kind of things. They're so damned formal and uncomfortable."

"You really think a bunch of airbenders have the capacity to truly be formal?" she asked semi-seriously, glancing over her shoulder at the probably-entirely-sober-but-certainly-not-acting-like-it crowd.

"It's still a crowd full of people dressed in finery and expected to socialize," he countered, with a brief glance at her robe.

"I guess so. It would probably do you some good to not be so aloof, though, you know. Maybe then people wouldn't be scared of you."

He crossed his arms and glared at her, which only furthered her case. "People aren't scared of me. And I'll do whatever I want."

"Fine, have it your way. But don't complain when people don't want to talk to you when you're stewing in the corner in armor, of all things. The war hasn't started yet, you know. Couldn't you have worn something… friendlier?"

He looked concerned, unsure. "This is what we wear to this kind of thing in the Fire Nation, I thought…" He scowled as Katara raised an eyebrow at him. "Anyway, I don't want anyone to talk to me, so good."

"If you say so." She brushed past him, her robe rustling satisfyingly. "Although, I have to say, you are spectacularly grouchy tonight. Too bad, really, I was looking forward to having fun with you."

Grabbing a plate, she indulged in a few tarts, one of her favorite things about living with airbenders, and moved to join her brother and friends. She smirked when she saw Zuko stalking behind her, for all the world looking like an offended cat. If he had a tail, it would have been twitching in distaste.

He blocked her path, looming over her in that stupid pointy armor. "One dance," he capitulated. "I will give you one dance, but then you have to let me hate this. And you can't make me socialize."

It was more than she'd thought she'd get when she saw his mood, honestly. Stuffing the rest of a tart in her mouth, she swallowed hastily then placed her plate on the table and grinned at him. "Great!"

Luckily for her, a song was ending as they made their way to the dais. She was nice enough to only lead him to the edge, although if she was being truthful, she wasn't particularly keen on being the center of attention again anyway. Not even if people would just think she was being diplomatic by getting the foreigner to dance.

As the new song began, Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed, and put an arm around her waist, clasping his other hand around yours. "You have no idea how horrible this is," he complained, melodramatically in Katara's opinion.

She glared at him. "Yes, be close to me is so horrible. Thank you." She made to move away from him, but he pulled her closer.

"You know I didn't mean it like that," he said softly in the vicinity of her ear, raising goosebumps down one arm. Guiding her with light pressure on her back, they began dancing, much differently than a traditional Air Noble dance. For one thing, they were touching. The steps were simple and repetitive enough for Katara to get the hang of it quickly.

She smiled up at him, about to commend him on his dancing, when the music abruptly stopped. They turned at the sound of the great metal doors at the entrance of the hall clanging against the wall, chased by a plume of blue flame.

A slender women clad in red strode in, looking for all the world as if the entire palace belonged to her. Katara vaguely noticed two other figures behind the woman, but her attention was irresistibly drawn to that commanding figure.

"Where is my brother?" the woman demanded. "I will speak with him."

Zuko swore violently under his breath. "I fucking hate parties."

* * *

A/N: YOU GUYS I'M NOT DEAD! I'M SO SORRY! No but really, I am so sorry this took me so long. I gave you an extra long chapter to hopefully make up for it, although honestly you might think it's utter crap, as it's mostly filler. Part of the reason it took me forever to find the motivation to write it. Lol. But also, I got married in October (after planning the whole thing and making my wedding dress), went on my honeymoon (to Scotland and Ireland, which was lovely and incredible), and have been swamped with work to boot. So I have sort of legitimate excuses.

Er, I'm also sorry for the super-gratuitous description of the robe Katara wears in this chapter. I couldn't help myself. I adore historical fashion and couldn't resist throwing in some GRRM-style-description. Although it is surprisingly hard to find English sources on historical Chinese fashion. I tried my best. If any of you all know any good sources, send them to me! I'd love to read them, as I don't know much about non-Western fashion history, unfortunately. Western sources are just much easier to find for me.

Also, I soooo could not resist adding Azula. I adore her. No, seriously. As much as I love Katara, I think I actually identify more with Azula, in a non-psychopath way. If I'd had parents like hers, I have no doubt I probably would have turned out the same way (*grins evilly*). I, too, struggle a lot with perfectionism and pretty severe anxiety, and so I understand a lot of her motivations. Plus Grey DeLisle is the best-I went to a panel with her at a con and she was seriously amazing. She is so funny and talented.

Poor Zuko, lol. He is such an introvert. Pretty much any situation where there's a crowd he's off sulking in a corner. I can only imagine after being forced to go to a zillion court functions growing up, he would really hate them. Katara kind of feels that way, too, except she mostly doesn't like having everyone watch her dance, not necessarily being the center of attention. I think being at a function with all airbenders would also punctuate her feelings of being an outsider, hence why she wouldn't want everyone to watch what she's sure is her fucking up their traditional dances because she's not actually one of them.

But yeah. Sorry this took so long, sorry not much happens, but I can assure you I am actually going to finish this story and that the action should be picking up soon. I mean, obviously, since Azula is bound to cause drama. She has a knack for that.

Oh! One more thing. A guest reviewer (I wanted to respond to you! I wish you had an account :( ) asked me if I had read araeph's metas on Tumblr because we said similar things. Dear guest reviewer, I had not previously, but now I have! And you are correct, we have very similar views on Katara. I found myself nodding in agreement over and over, lol. So thank you for introducing me to their Tumblr! I don't actually have one, so it's nice when people tell me about ones to look at.

Much love, lovelies! Thank you for leaving reviews even though I abandoned you for forever! I hope you enjoy the chapter. :)

Oh! Had to ETA this. I forgot that last chapter I mentioned in my author's note the totally dysfunctional relationship I have with my degree advisor, but I had worked things out. Yeah. Nooooooppppppeeee. Hence why I've been so swamped with work. He tried to tell me after I HAD JUST GOTTEN BACK FROM MY HONEYMOON that he thought I was better suited to teaching. So I've been trying to prove him wrong. Fingers crossed it works this time. In case any of y'all were desperately awaiting news of my grad school life, lol. Maybe I'll just write a oneshot somehow that's just a super cathartic things-I'd-like-to-say-to-him, ha. Really though that would end up being pretty horrible. No plot whatsoever. Although, side note, I am working on a couple of oneshots, one of which was suggested by a reviewer.


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